BOR
#all or nothing
ashen pecan
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHWERE TO GET THOSE
BRO
LIKE L
BRO
LIKE WHY AM I SUCH A BURGER
😭
nvm i just got an even better artifact
lol
it is what it is
life is good
im not a burger
ashen pecan
what is this spiral abyss
dawg
i cant even do the first chamber of floor 12
i dont have any cryo characters built
gn
bro i dont have any natlan ones either 💔
i guess ill wait for next spiral abyss
ashen pecan
um
so theres this hard ball in my ear piercing
i cant put my earring back in or else itll sting really badly
but it might close up
uhh
OOK THANK GOD I WAS ABLE TO PUT IT BACK IN
i wish i was more empathetic not gonna lie
sometimes im scared im actually a narcissist
like idk i heard this quote from this show and it was like "because when you have narcissism, you have control" and that made me realize like
how real that is
when i used to try and find people to be in a relationship with i often looked for the people that were mentally troubled
like i genuinely used to have this extremely prominent pattern of dating guys that have mommy issues and i never really realized that until now
until i realized that its really troublesome being in relationships when someone is like not willing to become better or is severely mentally troubled because i end up getting caught up in it and feeling the need to protect and "fix" them
im not like that anymore
i genuinely want to find someone that
idk this is kinda specific but i find it so attractive when i meet people that have gone through hell and back and is still able to push through no matter what and theyre not gonna let their past hold them back
thats genuinely so
fucking
admirable
genuinely count 3x
but
i dont know i remember back then i would proudly hold the title as a narcissist because i thought it was self confidence but
that was when i romanticized my bad behaviors ok
rough time
im gonna be honest like i
when i give advice i try to be as straightforward as possible but then i forget to express my empathy to them
because it just feels fake
but if i invalidate their feelings or dont take in account to how they feel they wont take my advice
obviously
i genuinely dont know i feel like if i knew people that didnt vocalize their discomfort to something i say thats really harsh i would just keep on going without thinking about how they feel
what you allow is what will continue to happen or even get worse
i dont want to cradle peoples feelings anymore tho
i used to have this excruciating urge to cushion everything like when i communicated with my boyfriends or closer friends
and then i would blame it on myself because i would be so scared if they got mad at me
that doesnt help anyone though
that literally doesnt push them to move past what they have done
i was watching this guy called the evaluator on youtube and he was citing these like
feminine traits
so i watched it out of boredom yk just
bingo
!
or something like that
and there was one like explosive empathy
or
idk its just an excessive amount of empathy
i literally feel like im not in the middle when it comes to not being empathetic or being extremely empathetic
im only empathetic when i dont want to piss off the other person and i need to mediate the situation
also its really hard to be empathetic when someone is not putting enough detail into their situation and are just constantly putting themselves down
like uh alright
do you want me to help or
SEE thats
the problem
i dont know if someone needs help or wants someone to be emotionally there for them
like i dont really know what to say when people are expecting emotional support
maybe its because im
honestly projecting
i dont like it when im telling someone like about a really bad situation and im not seeking advice
because i need to be able to see it from another perspective to tackle or acknowledge whats going on
when im so stressed
like genuinely if i NEED to be emotionally supported i dont talk to anybody i just
write down my stuff or talk to an ai about it
because they cant use it against me anyway
or i just try to compensate with my hobbies thats it
ashen pecan
like genuinely if i NEED to be emotionally supported i dont talk to anybody i ju...
this is a lie actually
i talk to people that dont know me online
cause like i dont think i have anyone in my life that i will allow to see me raw in my pure emotions
ashen pecan
i talk to people that dont know me online
tbh its so dope in this server
i can like ping someone in venting and ask for a listener
they dont know me anyway
and theyre WILLING to listen to me
lke ye i have some friends that are like full on ears if im going through something but then theyre multitasking
i never vent irl like bro 😭
if i were to vent irl it has to be extremely like
intimate
whenever im with my friends its when i think im stable or in school
bro crying in school gotta be the most humiliating thing
ever
like people are obligated to ask if ur okay
like when u sneeze and someONE has to say bless u
ashen pecan
like people are obligated to ask if ur okay
you do not care bro 😭😭
and if ur a friend you HAVE to ask if ur okay like bru
i do try rto seek out for support but i just
i cant do it with anyone i know fr
"you can always talk to me if u need to" hahahaha
haahaha no
idc how close we are
im legit fine saying that to people but when i say that i mean give advice
everyone different
can i genuinely stop being a cornball and stop downplaying this
like bro
I CANT
cause i genuinely dont care
no i do
but i dont care enough to activate serious mode
wheres the
yes i avoid it but im not like htat
ok i think my empathy is like a 5/10
from these 2 tests so far
bruh i tthink i would kill mhysel f if i was an empath
theyre literally so emotionally vulnerable
theres a difference between emotional intelligence and emotional vulnerability or being hyper tuned to others emotions
ur just gonna end up stressed out
thanks buzzfeed
i
ashen pecan
ashen pecan
if i can’t have an arm nobody can
if i cant have you nobody can......
i actually
despise buzzfeed
ashen pecan
i love you abby anderson
bro
the only reason i started talking about empathy is because of the concept of tlou
ok dont throw tomatoes at me already
i dont think im energized enough to go on another rant
of tlou
but
like i think the entire point of part 2 like especially abbys part
is to give the concept of if it were the other way around we would hate ellie
this
we've always been ellie and joel for the entire game its only reasonable to hate abby initially
i love complex characters like abby shes my baby
round galleon
if i cant have you nobody can......
this has got to be a song reference im not catching
THINK THINK THINK
round galleon
oh i fw that game not the guy
ashen pecan
im cryin why does he look like tha t
round galleon
why is he actually glowing evil
ashen pecan
im not doing that other eye but do. u see it
round galleon
bro not hu tap
ashen pecan
pees myself
ashen pecan
hiiuiuiii chat
vestal dragon
haiii
ashen pecan
helooooo
i dont wanna eat i dont wanna eat i dont wanna eat i dont wanna eat i dont wanna eat
I WANT CHICKEN FRIED RICE
😭😭😭😭
KINGSLAYERRRRRRR
CAN YOU HEAR THE SILENCE
vestal dragon
CAN YOU HEAR THE SILENCE
no
ashen pecan
kills yoi
vestal dragon
dodges
ashen pecan
you cant just
ashen pecan
smh
vestal dragon
heheheheheheh
ashen pecan
when are we playing minecraf
vestal dragon
when are we playing minecraf
rn
vestal dragon
send the ip
ashen pecan
if i can remember
wait
i dont think thats the one
i lied
hold on let me find it
no it is
vestal dragon
what version
ashen pecan
1.21.4
vestal dragon
loading
vestal dragon
that was not aura
very aura
vestal dragon
simon let me out PLEASE
clipped
vestal dragon
love me down
ashen pecan
AND YOU A SMOKER IMMA ROLL UP YOU blow it donw
nick is making me go wild
gfjgsdnfgnszxkl
ashen pecan
im seriously going to block my principal on email
vestal dragon
im seriously going to block my principal on email
cruh
ashen pecan
can they STOP sending emails like holy crap we havent even started
ashen pecan
floor 12
might acrually be the worst
thing ever
bro
i have 0 stars rn im in chamber 2
ending my lif
nah
im not doing rhis
bro acurally just give me eula and ill be
ill never pull again
my hu tao
is so bad
omg
vestal dragon
haiii :3
ashen pecan
hihihihi sindmom
vestal dragon
hihihihi sindmom
hru :3
ashen pecan
im feelin ok
vestal dragon
im feelin ok
wat hapen
red coralBOT
red coralBOT
vestal dragon
ay
ashen pecan
i have no idea
vestal dragon
i have no idea
why was he here
ashen pecan
globert
sigh i js
bro
i killed an enderman and then a creeper exploded
he dropped a pearl
pretty :3
idrk what to do with those
spyglass
woa
i just found this other cave
KIIIIIIINGGGGGGSLAAAYERRRRRRRRRR
round galleon
puppet? master? master of? puppets? master of puppets?
ashen pecan
just call my name cause ill hear you scream
round galleon
mr beast
round galleon
o
ashen pecan
Oh
round galleon
why it look like taht
ashen pecan
lOl
round galleon
EW STOPim leaving
ashen pecan
meow
ashen pecan
good kitty ?
I SAID I GOT YOU NOW
IM RIGHT HERE
AT YOUR DOOR
I WONT LEAVE
I WANT MORE
WHAAATTSSS UP DANGER
ashen pecan
when should we minecraft
bro please dont tell me my mom ist alking shit about me again
in front of me
vestal dragon
when should we minecraft
tmr
vestal dragon
bro please dont tell me my mom ist alking shit about me again
spill the beans
the tea
vestal dragon
alr then
ok ima sleep
gn random asian girl i played minecraft with
or in short, ragpmw
bye
ashen pecan
gn random asian girl i played minecraft with
goodnight uhhh random guy across the world i played minecraft with
round galleon
gn random asian girl i played minecraft with
ashen pecan
LMA
bro idk how to cook meat 🥦
💔
i only know how to cook beef but like i was following this tutorial that did it in an oven
km sobbing this look RAW
it tastes good tho idk
i really want a
motorcycle
bro
i dont even think i have a viable reason why i just think they look so cool
my friend rode a kawasaki once
it looked like a monster energy drink
i should
honestly get a mountain bike i really need suspension
i remember when i was ebiking with my friend he just kept on going off curbs and i was like dude wtf how are you not like
boiioioing
and he said that his bike had more suspension
and i was like damn
so whenever i go off curbs with a bike i have to like stand up
to absorb the energy more
dude i really appreciate my friend for getting me into ebikes
hes pretty reckless and we've had some close calls but genuinely
its so freeing riding an ebike
well i havent ridden a really fast one but like
i imagine its so much more fun
wtf
WTF
BRO
MY ORITENTATION IS TOMORROW
???
theres this tag i really want from this server and its a yamaha tag but like
its so
the servers like HELLA smallb
ro
bro
and this motorcycle community has like a few people wearing it
idk
im just gonna do it
i dont give a frik
NAW
bro
i have to send a request to join
whatever
if i get declined its whateverbro
this is like the equivalent to trying to apply to harvard
is harvard even real
are people that go to harvard even real
youre joking
wt
stanfords acceptance rate is 3%????
oh nvm im not going to that school
💀
round galleon
theres this tag i really want from this server and its a yamaha tag but like
im boutta cop a r3 for my first bike possibly cuz its low cc and its good for new riders
ashen pecan
:0
round galleon
know what bike id possibly get
yeah
that’s real
a lot of people uh
for first bikes js buy used
cuz obviously cheaper and u wanna know if u even like riding
ashen pecan
yeah thats fair
also theres like courses for new bikers and they get to tryout bikes
pretty dope
round galleon
yeaaa that’s tuff
ashen pecan
not gonna lie if my parents found out i was riding a motorcycle in college i
m they wont
oof i just remembered i might not be able to stay in hawaii throughout summer and stuff
ill figure that out later
ashen pecan
☹️
its ok at least i get to be there in the first place
itll just be more expensive to try and get a dorm there when i can go back home for a few months
my whole family is like EXTREMELY supportive of me going to college in hawaii
like my dads side of the family loves it there
its practically a second home
not gnna lie
its starting to get suffocating being in my roo
like its genuinely so sad to think about
i wish my room had more sunlight
and like idk i wish ihad somewhere to put all of my stuff for my projects
i would put it in my closet but my parents are using like nearly 3/4 of it to store their things
my mom just puts like the most random stuff in there any my dad puts collectibles on the upper part
i dont mind the collectibles honestly but other than that its just a bunch of boxes like bro 😭
if we got rid of the boxes i feel llike at least 1/4 or even half of it would be freed up
like theres boxes EVERYWHERE in the house its kinda concerning
but yea i hope
in highschool i can at least try to clean up that area so its more cleaner and minimalistic
i guess
my work desk is just a load off of my dads old stuff
thers a lot of documents in it for some reason
idk i just feel like
if we cleaned up those places we could actually just move in some of the stuff like that
dude i actually like
need a bookshelf
somewhere
my room is full of books and like
my work desk is just crowded with them
my piano
my normal desk
ON TOP of my normal desk like
bro
pack it up
😭
i do like the aspect of books around my room like that and i feel like whenever i see them it reminds me of like how much ive read
but also it gets annoying
ill probably keep the books on my piano but i should genuinely move the ones on my work desk to another area
like idk im starting to just be outside in my living room more because its more open spaced and i dont feel like
suffocating
i also just feel more productive in general
i dont think i could study out here though i get set off by the smallest noises and mym mom is literally just camping out here
i really hope she gets a job
and ive noticed that the more shes around my dog hes getting more sick and sick
because she feeds him a lot of human food like bro
he just threw up a few days ago in my uncle and aunts house because she fed him some really bad stuff
i genuinely feel bad for pets that are legitimately
fat
like bro
also i get hella pitiful for children that are already overweight before they turn into a teenager its just
?
i genuinely wish that schools would empathize nutrition and DRINKING WATER
LIKE
dawgl
theres at least HALF of the people in my shcool that dont have water bottles and just rely off of those nasty drinking fountains
and also its just like
ur supposed to have 2 liters everyday
which is around 8 bottles
i think
i hope so
oh wait
um no its 5-6
sometimes i get a little bit concerned at the amount of education ive lost over quarantine
like i dont really know my conversions that well i😭
also im REALLY bad at geography and geometry
im genuinely so sad my education wasnt cultivated growing up
like i remember i did a lot of extracurriculars in math but then when i got tired or sad i told my mom that and she just
let it go
she didnt really tell me to keep on pushing
like im obviously going to want to give up at it because i dont have any work ethic or discipline
im just so sad about that
but
its okay
i have the outlet to knowledge
i think its just so cool that we have so many ways of learning things at the palm of our hands
like reading and the internet
thats genuinely so
idk it inspires me to want to learn more about things
i get so happy whenever i learn something new that isnt like apart of my school curriculum
ashen pecan
idk it inspires me to want to learn more about things
i dont mean motivated either like
i love learning more about things especially in my own time
ashen pecan
i dont mean motivated either like
i kinda mean it in like "athletes dont diet or exercise they eat and train"
i alsor
love putting things into perspective like that
idk when i hear people saying like "i have to study" or "i have to workout" like
bro
you GET to study
you GET to work out
you get to go to the gym like thats
so sacred and amazing
i wish i could go to the gym its so amazing to be in one
like i remember when i was in hawaii there was a gym in our hotel and me and my sisters bf would go there all the time at night or sunset after we did everything
and its just like
bro
that was literally the highlight of my days
i think thats funny considering that i was on vacation but it was so fun to be there and like train
ashen pecan
i wish i could go to the gym its so amazing to be in one
idk i mean ive tried asking my dad multiple times and he gets really paranoid at the idea
cause theres a lot of adults there yk
i get it tho
i mean ill probably do it when im like 16 or something
hopefully
i just have to stick with cardio and calistenthics i guess
i dont really mind honestly because
i feel like a lot of gyms have people on chokeholds with the idea of having to pay to go there and then they charge you when you cancel so you just
HAVE to go
which is like good i guess but i feel like if that were the case it would just feel like a chore to go every day and make the most out of your workouts
just so you can compensate with the fact youre spending 30 dollars every month
but when it comes to at home workouts and getting like basic equipment
resistance bands and a pair of dumbells
like its really your oyster and
well its really a double ended blade because you dont really feel OBLIGATED to work out
unless you spend a lot of money on equipment for home and stuff but
its pretty easy to jsut give into the temptation of not working out for the day because
youre not gonna lose anything technically
i cant really make an argument that people that do exercises at home are more disciplined than people that go to the gym because theres a lot of other factors than just sucking it up and working out
i feel like the
idk how to say it
when you have like muscles and a good physique its really attractive because youre naturally like
people assume that youre disciplined and have a good idea on what to eat to cultivate your physique and overall health
like bulked men and toned women are subjected to that idea that theyre good caretakers
and i
i honestly dont have anything to say against that i think its true that theyre more likely to
cause like i said with the discipline and stuff they'll see themselves in their children and try to cultivate an environment to make them more disciplined in their actions
and like being able to feed your children rich foods is really great
im not saying that they can only eat healthy food 100% of the time without any fast or junk food thats just gonna burn them out and make them resentful towards it
but its really great knowing that whatever your parents cook is good for you
not like children would know that anyway its just like
eat vegetables and nutrients
it doesnt go fully into depth
with that stuff
my dad has a good idea on what food to eat and stuff and he makes me dishes everyn now and then but im always like
worried whenever my mom cooks me something because shes puts like a lot of sesaoning and oil onto the dishes and its just like
bro
so i just try to work with what i have and ask my dad to make me something
i like that most of my traits come from my dad because hes really private about his life and hes humble
he also has really good values like i remember whenever i was sad hed ask whats wrong and then he would give me advice on things
and it really sticks
to be honest
like its more into depth with things and it shows that he really thinks about it
i never really valued the idea of like
caring about your family and being thankful because everyone says it but doesnt put anything more into it so i just
like
dont care
but he tells me about how family is like the only thing he has and hes so grateful he has such great parents and siblings
legitimately his only closest people in his life is his brother and he always hangs out with him for hours on end
and we always go to hawaii with him and his friends
but yeah idk i love my dad
we've had some rough times but hes impacted me the most out of everyone in this world
i think if i didnt have my dad id be like
an actual burger bro
hes the only person in my family i really care about, like i literally cry at the thought of him not being in my life anymore
tomorrow isnt promised and any person can just disappear from your life including you
so make the most out of it
so you dont have any regrets
and do it because you love them
BACKPACK ARRIVED
who loves you baby
its just uh
i like this backpack but idk how im gonna wear my feminine outfits with it
.
lmao bruh im cackling about
my id
photo
i look so fucking funny
i legitimately look like a man
round galleon
he is GOINGN TO KILL UOU
ashen pecan
LOLOLOLLOKO
ashen pecan
I STILL HAVENT BEEN ACCEPTED TO THE YAMAHA SERVER
i... i need to be accepted
please..
ill do anything... just to be accepted
im getting a little bit sleepy
i have to be up early tomorrow :v
bye bye
ashen pecan
so i just rememberd
i drank caffiene
earlier
lol
ive been thinking
a lot
ngl
i dont even think i like
experience attraction
whenever i like someone its cause im attracted to their skills and traits not who they are
i think im infatuated
when i get to know someone im always looking for what theyre good at
like most of my attractions are based off if someone is competent
my first bf was really smart and he was so effortlessly good at everything it made me so deeply fond of him
but i dont know if that was because i wanted what i saw in him or i actually liked him as a person
he was pretty chill i guess but it was really annoying trying to stabilize the relationship i didnt want to try and communicate
my second boyfriend was like
i think what made me extremely attracted to him was because he was so intelligent but he didnt really show it like
it was only fragments of how he thought deeply about stuff and wanted to debate with me and give reason
and my friends said that he was extremely good at math and i was like
uh woo wee
he also played the violin
ashen pecan
i think what made me extremely attracted to him was because he was so intelligen...
but all of that really went away when he wanted to try and appeal to me
it kinda just
dulled him
a lot
and im really sad that it was like that because it felt like he had to muddle who he was just so he appeared attractive to me
i loved him
like a lot
i knew that he was someone i could definitely see getting into a serious relationship with
but i
i knew that me and him weren't that compatible as i thought
i looked up to him but i was looking at the old version of who he was
before he started liking me
goodness he was so precious
but then when i broke up with him he completely changed personalities and he acted like our relationship never happened in the first place
i knew that he wasnt who i thought he was then
i hope hes okay now though
i remember when i interacted with him for the first time in a while he like almost got into a fight with this guy and i asked if he was okay
and he was like yeah
its nice knowing someone
cares
i still love him but
i love the version i depicted him as
or what he made himself into
i love that humble and intelligent boy
but im
im ready to leave that behind
we werent made for eachother
thats just how relationships go
its not going to be perfect from the first batch and its just testing the waters to see what you value in a person
not only in romantic relationships
just relationships in general, like in the workplace and in friends
i know what i want
but i know when i see it
not in a sense its "love at first sight"
i dont believe in that
and theres people who say the exact same thing and say that they found someone they loved within first glance but
i dont believe that is based off of first sight
theres multiple times
where you realize you like someone
i mean it can be the same person, but with an incompatible personality
its js
rng
bro
i have so much time
i know i will find someone that appreciates me and shares same values
theres people that are down to earth
theres people that are humble
but who knows maybe i will begin to value that in a different spectrum the more i meet new people
im
really glad im here
i want to meet new people and
i want to suffer and go through hell and back
because i know that will make me appreciate the miniscule things even more
im thankful for every moment i face something humbling and hurtful
i thrive
i dont have anything else to say
pretty tired
but this caffiene is making me stay up
im really excited for tomorrow
please
let me preserve this state of gratitude
i really am an optimist huh
maybe
i dont know
theres a lot of perspectives
i dont think i have enough of it
maybe im a realist
question mark
this makes me happy
YES
I GOT ACCEPTED
YOJSJGHOJHGIHGANNDCVADKBN
YESSS
I GOT THE TAG
ive never felt so happy about a damn tag
um
ahahaha
a
i guess im 18. now
umh
god i love how u can just talk
do you think if i put that in my bio
she'd notice
i miss her a lot i wanna see her tomorrow
i hope she
wants to see me tomorrow
as well
i love you so much natalie
if i was a boy id have
such a big crush on her
:v
i kinda wanna write letters dedicated to people but
i dont wanna send it to them
ill write about it here
||natalies probably the most realest person i know right now, i love how effortlessly good she is at things but i wish she would be more confident in what she does because it hurts seeing her always worry about a math test even though shes never gotten below an A . i look up to her so much because shes in the same journey as me and i just love how shes so supportive of who i am no matter what and she hypes me up on things i am passionate about, i hope what i express means the same to her and even though we dont talk a lot now she wont leave me in highschool because it seems that she is the most humane person i know. i dont ever want to lose her and i want to just be as close as i was with her as i was before. i genuinely dont know how to put more depth into this message, i wish i had enough perspective at the moment to make it seem like im not trying to put weightless words||
||evelyn is the girl ive always looked up to in my entire life, shes always been so vigilant and realistic with her remarks and it has helped me so much become a better person, even if she doesnt aim to do so. i wish we went to the same high school because shes the first person ive ever talked to that wasnt a family member. shes really quiet, but i admire her art a lot and in a way seeing how talented she was made me want to pursue art even more. i admire how humble she is, and how private her life is but it feels like theres a barrier in between everybody else and her, no matter how close they are. ive always felt nervous around her even though we've known eachother for almost a decade, i dont know how to put it but its slightly comforting to me in a way. i just wish you were here still||
||rui is.. rui. not in a bad way, i think rui is the most motivating figure ive had in my life but i dont think he would say the same for me. i remember when we first met he praised me for my art and always asked for me to draw him things and hed give me hi chews in return. theres been multiple times where ive liked him and he liked me, but it never really aligned. i dont think i can imagine him as my boyfriend, though, and thats pretty damn good considering hes like a brother to me instead. ruis a champ at running and i think if it werent for him i wouldnt even be as passionate in running right now. he knows whats wrong and he wants to mediate things as soon as possible when it comes to problems in his relationships. i look up to him, too, if you didnt get the memo that i look up to everybody i write about in these. ill admit, theres been some heated times between me and him and i try to be as realistic with him and he gets frustrated, but then realizes his wrongs and thanks me for keeping him in check. i love rui. i wish we were closer. i think hes the reason why i value spontaneousness so much, because hes always up for something thrilling and risky if that means having some fun for everyone. i remember before my guitar lesson he asked me if we wanted to hangout after i was having a really mediocre day and that honestly was the highlight of my week, i wish i had more people like him in my life. we watched the sunset together at 7 pm and i forgot how much i missed this, talking one on one and ive always felt safe around him. he'll probably forget about me in highschool, but its okay||
||sean, out of everyone in this list is the person i want to get to know the most, i wish we had more in our connection because whatever happened in yosemite was fucking beautiful. sean is who i want to be and he made me realize that i cherished deep relationships. i could go on and on about how hes a great person, but i have to highlight that i love that he is so intelligent and is the top students of our school, i cant name anyone i know that is more smarter than him and yet, he doesnt make that completely about his own personality and who he is. we barely talked before this trip, but when we first interacted i felt such a.. strong spark with him and he has made me genuinely laugh, like it just leaves my body without any thought. we had to do this little activity where we had to learn more about the other person and we shared a lot of same values and it shows that he can put a lot of thought into something and express it so tastefully. i love that about him, and i realized that after this trip, i didnt know how strong our connection was and to this day i cant stop thinking about him. sean is willing to listen to others and show that he isnt always the most knowledgable person ever, despite the fact hes quite literally an academic weapon and he asked me what things were when i mentioned them. i remember i was geeking out on brain chemicals like oxytocin and my friend was like "why are you talking about this?" and then she was immediately cut off by sean and he was really interested in what i was talking about.||
ashen pecan
||sean, out of everyone in this list is the person i want to get to know the mos...
||i think that was the most refreshing experience ive had, even though it was short lasted, i still think about it to this day and i wish i could have something like that in the future, or i could talk to him the same way i did back then. i didnt know that he was like this until this trip occured and it made me see him in a whole new light. i love that hes so transparent with his words and he isnt afraid to talk about his fears and his weak points; i remember when we were on the way back from a hike, he told me that he was scared of falling behind and that made me realize that hes just as humane as the rest of us, i think the idea that hes so good at what he does has depicted an image of him having no weaknesses and no flaws. i love sean. i love that hes so willing to help others and help them accomplish things. hes a really good volleyball player at heart and he taught my friend how to get better at it to a point where he would stay afterschool with him to practice and take his snack time off to help him.||
ashen pecan
||i think that was the most refreshing experience ive had, even though it was sh...
||i think its extremely admirable that he ensures he helps people because when we were faced with this inconvience during rock climbing, he helped me get back safely and he went back to help other people and ensure that everyone made it out. i can go on and on and on about how much i respect him and i wish we were more than what we are right now. but when we came back from the trip, he wasnt as interactive as before and i tried saying hi to him multiple times, hoping he would say hi to me first but i guess that failed. i dont think thats an indicator that our friendship cant be more, though. i want to catch up with him and see hows hes doing. hes one of the best people i know and i strive to be more like him.||
i think
thats all i want to say
right now
maybe i can ask him how hes doing tomorrow
or if i can find him during orientation
agh i really need to go to the bathroom but im supposed to be sleeping right now
fingers crossed
alright mission accomplished
anyways uh
i dont really know what to wear to my orientation i dont think it matters that much
tbh
i feel like a lot of people are gonna put a lot of consideration into their outfits but i think theyre just gonna think about how they look
might wear a calm lil fit i guess
ill see what i have to wear
i wanna wear something nice buuut idk wwhat to pick help
omg i
i wanna do this
hehe
i want a daniel caesar shirt
:(
yes
thoughts
black or white
idk i dont really like the text on the white
now why is half the page frank oceans
OWASODFASFN
this one is so cool
omg
HEAVYYYWEEIIGHTHTTT COTTON
BABY
i want this
why is there like no daniel caesar merch
:(
GOSH
I LOVE THIS PART OF THE SONG
this is probably gonna be my top song of the year 😭
RAH
his voice is so satisfying
bro
i love sean but i respect his life too much to try and get closer to him romantically
🫂 '
its ok
a bit late
now
sleepy
should i just design my own daniel caesar merch lol
damn i wanna get constellations for arlecchino
bro
vestal dragon
damn i wanna get constellations for arlecchino
ashen pecan
:p
ashen pecan
hi
ashen pecan
this is pretty dope
vestal dragon
dude theres a pretty ass white girl
ashen pecan
china
vestal dragon
why would u need an id card
vestal dragon
fairs
ashen pecan
and for food
ashen pecan
ashen pecan
im touching grass and ur not
ashen pecan
i got this girls number
I GOT THIS JUNIORS NUMBER
LETS GOO
well he was my chaperone for the group and he asked me for my phone number
his friends kept on saying that he was a bad chaperone 😭
dude the campus is actually so cool
like
wtf
theres these like athletes of the year for male and female
its actually so much aura like it dates back from 1987
ashen pecan
sleepy tho
anyone wanna cuddle me to sleep or
crickets
okay :(
natalie screamed when she saw me
sob
like screamed as in shes happy to see me
and then we hugged
i was able to talk to rui for a lot of lunch and some other guys in my grade
he said i could borrow his vagabond mangas
ashen pecan
im bored
bro what did i just watch trying to fall asleep
FUCK ME
AGH i need to go biking
i wanna go biking
give me my ebike :(
ashen pecan
i love assulting my guitar
assault
asut
DONT COME CRAWLLINGG GBACKKKKKK
KINGSLAYERRRR
DESTORYING CASTLES IN THE SKYYY
KINGSLAYERRRRR
FOREVER TO THE APPLE TO MY EYE
ID SACRIFICE MY LIFE TO FIND U
ANGEL OF THE BLADEEE
ashen pecan
oat my goat
goat my oat
OAAT MY GOAT
massive atk
living life bro
ummm
i should enjoy my last week of summer :)
i wanna go to school to meet new people but i know theres gonna be some times where im like
uhg i wish it was summer i didnt know how good i had it
i doubt it but
i just gotta keep on pushing fr
sometimes i dont really know what "living in the moment" is now
i guess its not hanging around your past or getting too fixated over your future
i guess
uh
i gotta work really hard to the point where the voices get quiet fr
i might deactivate this account
tbh
but theres a lot of people i still like talking to on here and its not the same wit imessage
and i dont wanna get back on instagram idk
I COULD SITLL HEAR IT IN MY ROOM PAST MIDNIGHT
GOTTA MOVE TAKE A SOLO CRUISE IN THE MOON LIGHT
asfijdhsfhgsdnsf
i wanna ge tmore into nujabes hes such a good artist
i only discovered this song through those hella like
weird playlists on youtube
not rly weird actually its just like you cant really find it specifically by searching it
it just has a really long name with different characters
but i didnt even know he made aurian dance
aruarian dance
sometimes when i listen to playlists i dont rly pay attention to music even though its
i mean thats really ironic lol
i just listen to playlists and its new so im more focused on like if it resonates with me in a way and then i dont realize its a banger until 5 months later
that was me with kingslayer and pierce the veil's music 😭
idk i mean
i cant really get iNTO an artist for some reason
like they have one banger i discover by spotify queue and then i listen to the rest of their music and it doesnt hit the same
thats me with
everlong foo fighters
idk its SUCH a good song but like bro
theres those people that are like imagine discovering this from tiktok
like
dude
i actually do not like gatekeeping
its just a reflection of a superiority complex
i was looking into the psychology of it cause wlike why the fuck not
its just like
um
well by gatekeeping something they feel like they possess something that makes them more superor to others
as if its apart of their entire identity
like dude i have' tiktok music" as 80% of my liked songs
the only aritsts i was able to get into was daniel caesar and kendrick lamar
i mean yea theres other people like travis scott and
whatever
but i only really find their songs when it becomes relevant
i really like kendrick dude his discography is so diverse
its not just like a copy and paste of their bangers he actually exploits with other music genres
i mean whenever people ask me who my favorite artist is its gonna be kendrick
but they assume its like the not like us or yk
mustard song idk what its called
i really like his older songs like its glorious
hiiipower
united in grief n95
count me out
thats a good one
i didnt really like damn. that much
ill be completely honest
i havent listened to like everything he made as of singles and albums but my friend rui showed me a lot of his songs and hes great
fuck ii loveee rui
hehe
hes my goat
i kinda
well
its kinda weird saying i love my guy friends like
i feel like i shouldnt care but also it feels like people see me as a pick me
well you know what im not gonna care about what they think im gonna do what i think is right and makes me happy
yet its kinda complex to think about
cause
i dont think i have the right to subject myself to titles
if im a good/bad person, a pick me, tyrant, you name
it
because i have a lot of blindspots ill admit that
i mean im just like
realistic in a way and i try to have a grounded idea on girls and guys
im not gonna sit here and say that i treat them the same cause i dont since men and women are completely different
i treat everybody with respect i just treat people with different approaches and stuff
if ykwim
ashen pecan
im not gonna sit here and say that i treat them the same cause i dont since men ...
like a lot of girls unless theyre masc or something they usually dont approach me
i tend to interact more with people that are masculine in general
so i talk to a lot of guys ill admit that but its not because i want to appear like
different
its just natural selection kinda
i want to be myself
you know
and i attract certain people by doing that which is
masculine individuals
and if i were to talk to someone feminine im more flirty or shy around them
i try to get on their same wavelength without having to dullen myself and who i am
i mean with natalie im like a mix between the two because i cant really
define her as feminine or masc LOL
shes pretty feminine as of appearance and shes like a preppy and
go girl
but we have really deep conversations and appear like
idk
but yeah i dont know if i have the general idea of what my ratio between guy and girl friends
cause i just
idk im a lone
loner
but that orientation was actually gas
likebro
i think that mightve been the first time where i felt confident in being able to talk to other people
despite being introverted
i have some ok conversation skills i gues
guess
but i was talking to a lot of people and i was having a really great fucking time
like i got this girls and guys phone number
its gonna be really great
i
LOL