Says one thing reacts another way

[slow walrus]

He says it’s okay for us to argue and get mad at each other and feel a way.
But says he don’t care, not his problem and won’t talk to me about conversations we had, something was said or not talk to me in general.
And when I try to talk to him he says, it’s okay I’m fine I don’t need anyone I promise you that, I don’t need anyone, I’m perfectly fine on my own and goes on and on with an attitude.
Because of these actions I tend not to bring up hard conversations or serious discussions because he’ll take them the wrong way.
Even small triggers gets him too and I avoid potential consequences too but when I try to help the situation to get better or talk to him, I get nothing from him but if I give the same energy back for him to learn that what he does to me hurts me, he’s like I don’t love him, I don’t care about him and all this stuff that is not true.
He would say he’s doing better from years ago and that he’s changing but you can’t compare who you were years ago to now.
For me I always want to be a better person than who I was months ago. Yes we not perfect and sometimes fall back to habits but it should be sometimes and not frequently.
What am I supposed to do at this point?
I avoid conflict or confrontation with him cause he told me he doesn’t like conflict and is avoidant with things like that.
Yesterday afternoon he said he’ll call me back and he hasn’t said anything as of yet and I texted him to talk to me last night.
I remember he told me he don’t like having space but when I reach out I get nothing response. What do I do?????

[coral sinew]

It's hard to say as I don't know him
But I truly think that you can talk and argue with someone without going to conflict
If there's conflict, there's anger or fear
You can start there, to find out what's wrong

[carmine citrus]

He’s scared. My bf is like this too but unlike yours he communicated that had insecure and hasn’t been loved correctly in the past. He says it’s okay to argue bc it is. All relationships do. But him shutting you down when you try to talk about it dosent give either of you closure. He’s scared that if he grows to dependent on you for his emotions he will lose himself. You prob feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him. I think he likes you a lot and is scared of losing you. Now idk how long you guys have been together but this ain’t okay. He needs to communicate or he will spiral. Call him out on all of this gently. Tell him you need to talk about it or else you guys might need to rethink something’s. If he goes on abt being alone or says you can find better. Tell him you only want him and you love him. Reassure him it’ll be okay. This is all just my assumptions bc he sounds like my bf but best of luck to you. Communicate baby.

[slow walrus]

We just talked a couple hours ago and he basically said the same thing. He asked me why didn’t I call him last night. Keep in mind I know he said he’ll call me later because when I said “I love you” he said “me too” so the fact that said it that tone didn’t set right with me, only reason why I remember is because how I felt. Then he said that I expect him to do everything like usual. I told him if you said you’re going to call me later you should call me because I called him yesterday when he said he’ll call and he didn’t. So we were both waiting on each other to call but nothing. Am I wrong for this?
We try to communicate and I will admit that I tend to “beat around the bush” but I’m not a blunt person like he wants me too and when we argue he won’t be the one to respond to me and I’ll take it as he wants space and then this is where we end up for the 10th time.

[carmine citrus]

This is his fault he needs to open up to you. I think he has deeper insecurities. But you also need to take charge of you love him. Figure out what’s bugging him deep down. Communicate 1st for him calmly

[elder ore]

I also agree that I used to walk on eggshells around him and I still do but on a lesser degree. Things will happen and I used to beat around the bush and try to baby him but that often doesnt work. What works on me or yourself might not work on him and ive realized that the more upfront you are to him about the situation itself the more he will realize what is happening in reality compared to his imaginative spiraling

there have been countless times where he disappears without a word but every so often he would improve such as mentioning that he is going to rest or take some time for himself - this is within a span of a year and a half

i think the most important part is that you feel respected

there are healthy ways to take space from your partner without dammaging the relationship