shrewd summit
6–12 years old: I was lightly bullied and withdrew into a world of logic and books. I felt like a stranger among peers and convinced myself I didn’t need anyone.
12–15 years old: I tried hard to blend in, imitating others and switching from books to popular culture. Inside, I still felt isolated.
15–18 years old: I found some belonging in a group of fellow outsiders at school. It was a good time, but I still felt different and continued to adapt by mimicry.
18–20 years old: University broke my structure. I lost my social ties and spent two years mostly isolated at home. I was academically present but emotionally lost.
20–24 years old: I went through a traumatic event that left me with deep regret and shame, it still haunt me. I clung to a new group of friends for survival but never fully shared the truth. I lived in fear and guilt.
24–Present: That second group eventually left after learning more. I recently started therapy and began the painful work of rebuilding. I still carry heavy emotions and question whether I’ll ever feel self-acceptance.
I want to know if there’s a future where I can live without shame. Or if everything is going to repeat itself again and again. And ill be all alone again.
Didn't include love life and not even family life and it evolved kinda the same way.
Just want to know if I can be happy one day, it seems so far and impossible. I can't even go outside without having a this overwhelming feeling of dread