#I need to talk about my casual relationship with a friend

207 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

fathom thorn
#

I'm basically his side girl

#

all of the things weve done have been so fun

#

yet his girlfriend kinda found out

stark citrus
#

Hey im here if you’re willing to talk more about what happened

fathom thorn
#

yes please!!

#

stay here

stark citrus
#

Sure

#

Im all ears

fathom thorn
#

so yeah she found out

#

but he said that im like his little sister as an excuse

#

bc weve always been good friends

#

but I still crave him and i know he does too

#

there's really nothing romantic going on

#

but i just cant get ts off my mind

#

and i cant rlly tell my rl friends bc were all like a friend group

#

and it would be weird if they find out

stark citrus
#

Does he tend so give you mixed signals?

fathom thorn
#

mmmm

#

actually

#

yeah

#

but idk if theyre just sexual

#

or romantic

stark citrus
#

What sorts of signals

#

We can go through them all and find out what he might truly feels about you

fathom thorn
#

buttt

#

like the problem is

#

i dont really want something romantic

stark citrus
#

And what about the cravings you mentioned

fathom thorn
#

y just want the intimacy without the pressure of being in an actual relationship

#

and i crave his body in a way?

#

not him

stark citrus
#

For how long you’ve been together

fathom thorn
#

weve been doing that stuff for like a month now

stark citrus
#

And his girl too when did he got into a relationship

fathom thorn
#

he's been with his girl for abt a year now

#

the thing is that theyre long distance

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

dw just say things staright foward

stark citrus
#

And the idea of him being with someone else is making you want him more

fathom thorn
#

i need a reality check

stark citrus
#

It’s like adding value to him

fathom thorn
#

ohhh

#

but wdym value?

stark citrus
#

Yk us women like men who is wanted by other women

#

Like it can light a spark in your head that he might have something interesting

fathom thorn
#

ooooouu

#

thats true

stark citrus
#

And with really simple flirting skills they can trick our minds to make them look superior to us

fathom thorn
#

but then how do i stop the cravings?

stark citrus
#

Let’s look at it from a different perspective

fathom thorn
#

okay sure!

stark citrus
#

How would feel if you saw a man who has been in a relationship for a whole year trying to sense mixed signals to a girl whom he met a month ago do you think it’s some sort of indicator that he just wants friendship

fathom thorn
#

WAITT

stark citrus
#

Not that there is anything wrong with you but it doesn’t make sense to start creating sexual tension

fathom thorn
#

weve been friends for like two years

#

but the hookups started a month ago

stark citrus
#

Oh sorry i miss understood that

fathom thorn
#

its alrr

#

but i still get ur point

stark citrus
#

Girl he seeing how far you would go with him

fathom thorn
#

thats actually rlly true

stark citrus
#

It might sound cliche but didn’t you hear about “if he wanted he would?”

fathom thorn
#

yeahh

stark citrus
#

That exactly implies to your situation

#

Yk human beings in general always try to push people and see what are their limits

#

If you didn’t put an end into it or allow him wants to cross the line

#

He will keep doing it over and over and see what he can get from you

#

Remember the fact that their relationship is long distance he might be craving that intimacy too, but he can’t get it with his current girl right now

#

Don’t allow yourself to be in a position of a backup

#

Or just to fulfill his needs

fathom thorn
#

but in a way he's also fulfilling my needs

stark citrus
#

I know you’re better than this even of he tried with everything he got to make you feel that he’s the one you will never find someone as attractive as him. You will never meet someone who can’t draw you the same way he does.

fathom thorn
#

thats true

#

its better if I just find another person too

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

ig we just had what we had bc it was just the right timing

stark citrus
#

You have to reflect on yourself and see what exactly do you need? What are you lacking?

fathom thorn
#

Im lowk lacking self respect

#

but Im gonna try my best to change that

stark citrus
#

Before you get into something crazy with anyone you have to ask yourself are you feeling lonely right now? Are you feeling misunderstood? Are you looking for some deeper connection with someone? This is all normal needs but we have to do where are they coming from before we decided to get it from someone

stark citrus
#

What are you motives behind each and every action you’re taking

fathom thorn
#

mmmm

#

let me think

stark citrus
#

Is it to be loved? Is it to be seen?

fathom thorn
#

i think its just bc I want to feel wanted

#

i think?

#

I dont want to have a relationship

stark citrus
#

That’s a great answer. You didn’t even hesitate. I’m glad you know exactly why we can start working from there.

fathom thorn
#

But I still want the attention that you get from a relationship

stark citrus
#

Is tension being wanted the only thing you want from a relationship?

#

Sorry, I meant attention

fathom thorn
#

yes!!

#

basically

#

and the physical needs too

#

but i think the physical part is bc once I get a little bit of it I cant stop and still want more

stark citrus
#

So unfortunately, this is not the essence of having a relationship you’re getting it wrong

#

How’s your relationship with your parents if you don’t mind me asking?

fathom thorn
#

its fine right now, they're great parents, im just a bad daughter

#

my sister is literally the perfect daughter

#

and the only thing Ive got going for myself is my track & field things

#

and theyve caught me smoking way too much

stark citrus
#

Growing up, has anybody ever neglected to you? Made you feel like you are no good or try underestimate your accomplishments

fathom thorn
#

them I guess, theyve always compared me to my sister

#

I mean

#

she got a full ride to an ivy league

#

she was her class's valedictorian

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

i belive that bad influences dont rlly exist

#

bc its always you, yourself who does the action

#

i have been exposed to it

#

but Im the one who asked to try it

#

and the one who later asked to buy it

#

and continue to buy

stark citrus
#

let’s focus about smoking when you light up your cigarette and take a puff what feelings do you have at the moment?

fathom thorn
#

its not abt cigaretts

#

omg my bad

#

i wrote that wrong

#

its abt weed pens

#

i first started off with vapes

stark citrus
dense hornet
#

Wsp guys

fathom thorn
#

hii

dense hornet
#

Whats goin on here

fathom thorn
#

diana could u explain plss

stark citrus
#

do you actually believe it’s easing your mind?

fathom thorn
#

im rlly bad at explaining

fathom thorn
#

I've always struggled with eating but went I smoke it's great

#

i eat sm

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

and then I just like lock in

#

on anything literally

#

and went i close my eyes I feel like im melting

#

and sleeping is just great

#

I feel like I stop overthinking

stark citrus
fathom thorn
stark citrus
#

It makes you lose your appetite

fathom thorn
#

its weed pens

stark citrus
fathom thorn
stark citrus
#

I have friends who do it

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

weed and tobacco/nic have very different effects

#

there's a reason as to why ones considered an actual drug and the other isnt

stark citrus
#

Yeah, but the main point here is addiction. It’s a big word I know.

fathom thorn
#

oh yeah

stark citrus
fathom thorn
stark citrus
#

It’s the idea of what’s your mind things that they make you feel

fathom thorn
#

when im high

#

i just stop overthinking

#

in a way everything kinda goes silent for me

stark citrus
#

Listen, I’ll try to explain. It’s really simply put your unconscious mind is very stupid and I do not mean you personally here it is on its own really stupid and I will take anything that you’re feeding it.

fathom thorn
#

okayy

stark citrus
#

Like to tell you how powerful it is to track your mind, if you simulated in a certain way you might be able to see some visual hallucination or hearing things around have you ever heard about that experiment when they told people that they’re gonna drain their blood they cover their eyes and lock them in a room and played a sound of I don’t know how to describe it like something of water dripping

#

But they told them it’s actually their blood being sucked or drained out of their bodies and the results of that experiments that people actually died thinking that they were slowly losing their blood

#

So if you’re giving your brain that affirmation that smoking or being on weed will make you stop overthinking that’s exactly how’s your mind Is going to respond.

fathom thorn
#

ohhhh

stark citrus
#

From my opinion, people who consume alcohol or weed to escape reality are very weak they’re cowards. They cannot even face their daily problems.

#

And I believe that you’re not that type of person you will not end up like them no matter how bad do you think you are? No matter how low self-esteem you have you can? I’m not just saying that to cheer you up that’s a fact.

#

But it depends on one thing if whether you really wanna change that or you’re just wanna talk about it and keep feeling and living up that misery

fathom thorn
#

Ive been trying to quit

#

but i just always end up finding myself back on it

#

the longest I went without it was 6 months

#

but ill try to quit again

#

bc when i was off it

#

everything felt clearer in a way

stark citrus
#

I never said it’s going to be an easy journey

#

Is Valerie your real name?

fathom thorn
#

yeahh

stark citrus
#

So listen to me, Valerie and before we start working on anything, do you really wanna put an into this?

#

Cause I don’t wanna put effort in time into improving someone who doesn’t wanna help himself improve

fathom thorn
#

yes I actually doo

stark citrus
#

How often do you work out?

fathom thorn
#

literally everyday

#

im a track athlete

stark citrus
#

I’m gonna be honest with you I feel a sense of misguidance and pressure, anxiety, overthinking, it’s like you’re feeling that you’re running out of time. You don’t know where to start

#

All those negative emotions are overwhelming you sometimes to the point that you see no point in anything at all

fathom thorn
#

yes!!!

#

ur super right

stark citrus
#

No one else is there to understand where are you coming from or why you are on a certain way and you can’t just get out and break the cycle

#

Im here to tell you everything i just said is super normal there’s nothing wrong with you to feel this way

#

Our life is our choice we decide what decisions we take and we take accountability for our action

#

In order to start doing that, you need to grab a pen write down the wrongs in your life

fathom thorn
#

oh okay

#

should i do that now?

#

wait actually diana

stark citrus
#

Starting from the ones that holding you back from living your daily life to the tiny those micro feelings that are holding you back and the deep fears you have

fathom thorn
#

I'll send u a friend request

#

and we can keep this convo going in private

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

but later bc I gotta go rn

#

like ASAP!!

stark citrus
#

And once I feel that you can continue on your own, I’ll leave it to you there

fathom thorn
#

okay, tysm for helping!! I'll be sure to keep reaching out

#

I'll try to keep count of the days I have quit

#

and update u on them

#

is that good?

#

and I'll also try to do that list once I come back

stark citrus
#

And you don’t have to start anything today it’s enough that we know know what you’re going through

stark citrus
fathom thorn
#

tysmm!!

stark citrus
#

Anytime 💕