Hello. Recently, I met someone very special and we've been together for a few months now. We live quite far away for now so our ability to be in each other's presence is far and few in between. The problem I'm having is that my girlfriend has an ex that is recently singled and they made plans to hang out without even so much as asking how I felt about it. His now ex wasn't comfortable with their past romantic relationship so didn't allow them to see each other, understandably. She has told me that their relationship was very short and they decided they were better off as friends. I have experience with situations similar to this and being cheated on for it because I didn't want to be an overly jealous person and truly want to believe in them. I've been going over this in my head for days now and sincerely am not ok with it. I don't know how to come to her with it without sounding like I'm trying to give her an ultimatum or set up a situation where they still talk but feel like it has to be in private which would stir up a whole other problem later in the future. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thanks in advanced.
#Could really use some help here.
devout saffron
devout saffron
Could really use some help here.
patent tapir
does you partner know how you feel about this?
heady needle
Yo listen man. First key is communication. Just straight up tell her what u feel.
devout saffron
No, not yet. They never even bothered to ask
patent tapir
probably it would be better to start the conversation about it
by asking her about the hangout
and then talking to her about how you actually feel about it
you don't need to go straight to the point but it would be good for her to know your feelings
devout saffron
I don't know how to go about it without it sounding like an ultimatum.
heady needle
See
It need not be an ultimatum
Just sit down and ask her about the hangout and how she feels about this
patent tapir
yeah
devout saffron
To me ex's belong in the past. The only reason they still hang around each other is because there's still something there. And he's there where as I'm not
heady needle
If she thinks it's not gonna affect ur relationship with her then id say it's not really only her problem.
patent tapir
it doesn't need to be ultimatum
heady needle
You should ask her if she would be open to listening to ur pov about this
And just share whatever is on ur mind without a filter
Yk ts works w my gf really well
patent tapir
She should respect and listen to your opinion as well
devout saffron
Ok, I appreciate it. I do plan to talk with her about it today
heady needle
She should respect and listen to your opinion as well
Well if she really loves u then she would
patent tapir
Well if she really loves u then she would
yeah, as long as your her gf she should be listening and thinking about Ludra as well
devout saffron
It may be a bit old fashioned but if the respect was there, she would've already asked me about
patent tapir
that also right
devout saffron
I know I'd never put her in such a position
patent tapir
but people always seems to make assumption
and she might have thought you were okay with it since you have never told her anything about the hangouts
devout saffron
I have told her my thoughts about ex's before in passing while we were just talking
patent tapir
okay
then i think it should be better for you to actually tell her about your feelings again and what you think about her ex
if she haven't thought much about your statement, i think it should be better for you to point out your actual real feelings about it as well
devout saffron
I will. Thanks so much you guys. I appreciate it
patent tapir
no worries