i don't know what i should do

[potent hamlet]

my ex recently came back to me and asked to be friends again about 2 weeks after breaking up, and since my feelings never truely went away i decided to say yes. Now we are kind of dating again without ever saying we are, like an awkward too close to be friends but not close enough to be dating type of thing, i have 3 other friends who are my only other friends, they hate her since they know she kind of left me for no reason, and if they found out i got back and became her friend then they would probably leave me.

Recently, I was walking around with her and then my uncle comes to pick me up to go somewhere, so i said i had to go and this made her really upset, and i tried to apologize but she never really forgives that much. She said the only way she would forgive me is if i told my friends to stop treating her so badly (saying bad things about her and ect) and i have tried before to get them to stop but they dont listen and she just ends up getting even more upset. If i tell them we're friends again then they'll probably leave me aswell. So i told her that we shouldn't be together and she hasnt seen the message yet, shes already met my parents and my parents think everything between us is good. I just don't know what to do

[rigid sonnet]

I suppose that an ex is an ex for a reason. If she truly loves you and is willing to grow with you she would communicate properly and try to solve things with you. It’s strange that she left you for no reason, leaving is a dumb option if you truly love the other person.

If they are true friends they will not leave you, they will try to understand and accept your decision because it’s out of their control. If you love her and if you feel like it’s working between you two, if it makes you happy then nothing should stop you.

I would fully understand if she was upset in the moment, like just for a little bit, but being upset and refusing to forgive you if you don’t do something that she wants is toxic and manipulative. You deserve to be loved in a non toxic way and you deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated. They will continue to talk bad about her if they dislike her, it is out of your control really. All I would advise you to do is to listen to what your heart truly wants, memories are memories, but is she a person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

She will open the message soon and that is okay, I’m happy you are setting boundaries, or like a border. Even though she has met your parents and even if they think it’s good between you two, just be straight up brutally honest if you are able to, she is not treating you fairly and I’m sure they will understand as well

[potent hamlet]

but i dont know if its really her fault, she has alot of childhood trauma and that led to some anger issues later in her

[rigid sonnet]

I hate to break it to you, but having childhood trauma is not an excuse for treating another person bad. Love is supposed to be gentle and pure, that comes with healing as well. Just because she has gone through hell doesn’t mean she has the right to put you through hell as well. I am sure that you have a good heart, and I will say the same thing once again, you deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated

[potent hamlet]

she has done alot of things that have made me feel better though, i used to feel insecure about myself but she made me feel like i actually look nice, its just that she changed slowly and started drifting away and then we broke up, got back together, broke up, and now the weird friend this is happening