imma just write about my day for the most part. there will probably be things out of context so if u have questions just ask!! just a TW to things like ||self harm|| as well as ||suicide|| and ||drug abuse|| and ig ||rehab|| and ||death|| hope yall don’t think im to crazy
#Not Danny’s journal
brave fox
day1 3/10/25 honestly i slept in until about 2pm which sucked ass cuz u was supposed to be doing schoolwork (im doing online school cuz im expelled) but i drove to the bank to cash out a check BUT ITS ON HOLD UNTIL THE 14th LIKE BRUH after i took my car to a body shop to see how much it would cost to buy a new front bumper, headlights, and front right fender. the guy quoted me at 650!?!? yeah no i’ll just go to a junkyard thank u very much 😭 on the way home tho i decided to hit up a old friend and get me two tabs that is now just sitting in my room.. just for context im a drug addict but i don’t consider psychedelics as a relapse as i use them as a way to deal with things i can’t properly process (kinda like psychedelic therapy) after that i went home n sat in bed for literally 5 minutes before driving another hour to rehab (im in this enthusiastic sobriety program that’s probably a cult ngl) and once i got there one of my close friends who i’ve been beefing with asked to talk to me abt smth. he told me how he had relapsed and what he should do now. i told him that he now had a fresh start with a clean slate to do everything right this time. (which i think was great advice) we then had a meeting (it’s sorta like AA meetings just less formal kinda) and i think it went well. after all that rehab shit i drove one of my friends home. he gave me like ten bucks for gas tho! i drove a hour n a half back home (totaling over 3 hours of driving for the day) and just watched re:zero. n then i got bored n joined this server and here we are!!
brave fox
3/11/25 2:21
i'm at work rn n BRO do i wanna shoot someone. im so glad i put my two weeks in a few days ago. my manager tried getting me to stay by telling me how easy this job is or wtv but im working 12 hour shifts and im getting paid 10.50.. yeah no im not doin that bullshit. i told him that i just bit off more than i could chew when he asked why i was quitting and i heard him call me (sorry for the slur)
|| a fcking fg|| which pissed me off. he knows i'm
pansexual and he knows how that effects me. it's whatever tho. i just can't wait for my lunch break. edit: WHY DID IT BLOCK ME FROM SAYING THE F WORD LIKE BRO
brave fox
day 2. 3/11/25
worked a 12 hour shift today. kms. gotta work another tmmr to. imma cry bro. work sucked like always. it was slow today tho which always sucks ass cuz it’s so boring. i can’t just do nothing for 6 hours in between rush hours. right before i clocked out i busted my ass n fell on the floor after mopping 😭😭. drove the hour home crusing at about 80 MPH tho so that was fun! i was able to help alot of people today tho!! that always makes me happy. unfortunately i relapsed a hour or so after coming home. i dont really know why i did it i kinda just wanted to test out new razors i got… that and i had a lot of things built up that i wasn’t properly processing. i’m running low on money and gas so i might be cooked 😭 a girl asked for my number while u was at work tho!! that’s never happend before so it was kinda cool! she’s a really cool girl i just cant see myself in a relationship yet. i feel bad tho. my tattoo is healing well tho!! (i tatted a vinyl on my upper thigh tho i need to touch it up again.) should i become a tattoo artist?? definitely not i blew tf outta my skin 😭 i can’t wait till my shift tmmr is over that way i can pull a all nighter!! it’ll be fun! overall a pretty eventful-uneventful day! stay safe guys n i love you all!!
brave fox
day 3. 3/12/25
i went to work tdy for another twelve hour shift. kms. it’s kinda settling in that i leave my house at 9 and im not home till 11 cuz i live a hour away from where i work. it’s wack. after work tho i went to go hang out with a bunch of friends which is always fun… right..? anyways i crammed 3 ppl into my two door to go to a gas station n on the way to the gas station you could hear my tire scraping on my fender (my car got hit and it still hasn’t been fixed) i tried to laugh it off but when we got back n i looked at my tire its borderline popping atp. so i just bent the fender so it wouldn’t hit the tire (turns out i can lift the whole car off the ground 😭) i got rlly pissed off at the whole car situation so i just sat on my friends couch n went through stories on snap. that’s how i found out my friend got shot n killed 3 days after he got outta the bins (jail) i was literally talking to him 2 days ago. like wtf. this world is testing me. i’m also flat broke now. 10$ to my name. had to drop 15$ on gas cuz i drive so damn much 4 hours of driving today) now i’m watching “the pursuit of happiness” with my best friend slumped on the couch. yall.. why is everything against me. i’m losing my entire paycheck on this car for something that wasn’t even my fault. i owe my dad 250 and he’s to broke to let it slide this time. everyone i love is dying off and im seriously considering going next. i’ve been relapsing every night now for the past week or so and im genuinely just lost. plus i need a girlfriend i hate being single 😭. stay safe yall. love u all!
brave fox
yo!! i sorta gave up with this journal thing. no one really cares when you break it down. for thoes of you who are reading. MASSIVE TW cuz it’s gonna be graphic. i’ve relapsed. it’s official and better yet it’s a blood bath. the already war torn land has recommenced battle after 79 days of fighting relapse. it’s a new record for me!! idk bro ig im just tryna comfort myself in myself. that’s like the whole point of me writing this. i feel like a lying piece of human garbage. i keep getting thrown away like yesterdays paper. fin (my ex) is still tearing me up from the inside out. he has no place in my life we’ve cut contact. so why does he still effect me so harshly? why does he still lurk in everything i do. and i mean literally everything. i can’t even cut myself without my brain going to him for comfort or anything really. but he’s not there and he never will be again. and not having someone there blows dude. i just want someone who i can laugh with n cry with n grow with. i wanna be dependent on someone but also be depended on by the same person. i miss that. and it’ll never be the same. new topic bc i cannot for the life of me make this flow. i’m not a bad looking dude realistically. but i’m definitely not preferred ykwim? like i’m a 7/10 maybe 8 on my best day but im still in the middle. i’m not preferred but im not bad looking. and that also blows. if i could just do something to shoot me up a point or two but ive tried everything. long hair short hair played sports been the druggie i’ve been hippie i’ve been so many different things so i could gain thoes points that i’ve completely lost myself. and i don’t know if i like what im doing now or if i don’t. i don’t know anything. new topic. waking up has been dreadful. nothings new bro. same old shit every day and when that happens i fall apart. new topic. blood has now gone through my denim jeans and i’ve just noticed that i’ve been typing for like a hour now. told yall it was bad this time. im sorry
i’ve just re-read that and holy shit my brain is cooked. everything i said was raw tho and i apologized for that. not that apologizing matters no one’s reading this bullshit but me