fallow mesa
A few years back in 2022, I had started to develop mental problems and they didn't affect my life that much at first so I kind of just shrugged it off. I went to the school counsellor and they didn't help much so yeah I just didn't give much thought to it at the time but as the years passed by it had started to get worse due to a lot of factors (such as my mentor leaving and me developing attachment issues to people). I started losing interests in my passions and couldn't maintain healthy friendships so in my desperate attempts I had trauma dumped on people without realising it at first. Now my best friend has cut off contact with me, and in response to that I had decided cutting off whatever friends I had left was the right choice. My biggest fear of losing everything has become a reality and I just don't know what to do with myself. I was planning on getting diagnosed and getting prescribed meds and/or therapy and trying to find new friends online. And I keep telling myself when i'm fully recovered I can try to make it up to the people I've hurt but I just can't see how i'm going to do that anymore. It's almost like i've reached further than rock bottom.
TL;DR I've lost all the things I care most about due to my mental problems getting worse and now that everything is gone what do I do with myself? Do I build a new life and apologise to the friends i've hurt when the time comes? If so how do I even start? Do I just wait it out and see what happens? Will I be able to be friends with the people i've hurt again with time? I'm at a complete loss and need help
faint bone