summer moon
I see this working for some people so I kinda wanna vent too. At first I tried counseling and anonymous messaging platforms but those turned up nothing, I'm hoping here there will be more people with more experience with this stuff 🙂.
So basically, I don't know if I genuinely wanna say it but I feel like I'm going crazy? Idk. Lately I've been having heavily dramatic mood swings, like one second I'm running around my house, all active and then, REALLY SUDDENLY I just start crying and vomiting and tearing out my hair. I'm scared for my mental health or at least I think I am? Idk anymore tbh. Usually what causes these mood swings is that sometimes I'd be thinking of pretty -sinful desires- (fill in the blank) and then all of a sudden I think of someone close to me (not family), but someone who I hold dear to me and my body reacts almost naturally in a way that I start to vomit back up my last meal? I mean like, I have gotten close to coughing up blood and then while I'm crying, lo and behold, I (for whatever reason) start longing for a life of starvation and sleep deprivation? Idk. It feels like it's someone my body is telling myself that I need, and it feels so right. I'm honestly really scared to consult a professional for help because, if I am showing signs of a severe psychological disorder, I'm kinda scared I may be sent to a psych ward.
It feels weird to admit because im always thinking that someone is going to see me as attention seeking but at this point, i dont know what to do. Any advice?
uncut island