#The Thoughts of Toast

4 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

frank coral
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Saturday, March 1st:

I'm currently listening to music while I defeatedly think of my relationship. Today was unproductive just like everyday is, my mental health is declining and I wish I could do better. I haven't spoken to my boyfriend since Friday and honestly I'm losing hope. I did a one second animation clip dedicated to my boyfriend, I don't know why when i know he cant do the bare minimum for me. I hope by doing this journal, that I can keep track of my thoughts. My moods always change and so does my thoughts, so by doing this, I won't be able to forget so much of what I think about.

frank coral
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Sunday, March 2nd:

I'll be going to sleep soon. Me and my boyfriend finally spoke to each other, and it pains me as he doesn't seem interested in me anymore or that he lost the spark for our relationship. Im hurting a lot and it keeps getting harder and harder each day for me. I hate my overthinking and I hate the dark thoughts I think of. I'm trying my hardest to not do anything because I know my boyfriend will hate me if I ever did anything to myself. I miss him a lot but im scared I lost him forever and that I'm stuck in a loveless relationship with him. I'm crying so much I'll probably go to sleep like that.

frank coral
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Friday, March 7th:

My boyfriend and I had a terrible argument, one that I caused. I was being hostile and defensive and he wants to break up now as I have not considered his feelings and put him in the back burner for any time his actions made me hurt. Today or tomorrow will be either the day our relationship ends or continues. I now realized that I am severely messed up and I need to heal from my past trauma but I am so afraid that I am too late to make my boyfriend stay. I love him but I was too focused on my own needs that I thought I was meeting his needs when in reality I wasn't. im so lost I hope it's not too late and that he gives me another chance ce

frank coral
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Sunday, March 9th:

It's late at night, my boyfriend decided to take another chance at this. I'm afraid I'll mess up again. I'm still hurt a lot from his actions and I'm trying my hardest not to burst to not ruin it all. I wish I didn't feel this way I wish I was a healthy person.