shell pumice
Life used to feel really great about a year ago. I was making a lot of good progress with my writing, I had a good relationship with my friends, and I had an amazing girlfriend. Coming to now, things simply aren’t the same. My girlfriend and I broke up and she has a new boyfriend mow, which is something that I have fully come to terms with, but at the same time it still impedes on my overall happiness. I feel like my friends have become further from me with all of their relationships and other things that I’m not apart of, and I’m having a hard time writing recently.
And the issue about all this is that regardless of how I express this issue to other people…it really doesn’t help, honestly.
I am not happy. And I feel like I should be able to do something about that, but everyone keeps telling me I can’t.
I’d do anything just to get that outlook on things that I had a year ago, when the beliefs were watching the reality.
But I don’t know what to believe in anymore, because I kept being shown time and time again that there isn’t strong reasoning anymore to believe what I used to.
I just…really want to feel good, because i’ve felt so down for so long that getting that euphoria that I used to feel from waking up everyday is something that feels so out of reach now.
I want to be happy, but I don’t know how. I don’t have a reason to be happy. Nothing makes me feel particularly happy.
I’ve done so much self-improvement, so much meditating and changing my perspective
but i feel like i don’t know anything because the universe is quite literally telling me that i don’t know anything.