i want to kms

[fallow umbra]

its all just to much and i want to kill myself

like i have no reason to live

before if i had someone i loved i could make them my reason to live, but now i have absolutely no reason

and without reasoning i dont know why i should push myself through this

[split patio]

Appreciate life

I mean life is a precious gift

There’s a rainbow after the rain

Life is good

Times are tough

Nowadays

[fallow umbra]

its a gift of torture

[split patio]

But you gotta stand tf up and be tuff

Don’t let life hit harder than you could hit life

[split patio]

It’s a gift of experience

All of these experiences make character

You’ll be stronger

You’ll have tuff times but I don’t want to just kill myself

[fallow umbra]

like i expierenced my loved ones kill themselves

[split patio]

I understand you

I experienced loss before

It’s hard, it truly is but it happens it’s life

People die different ways

But it shouldn’t stop you from living

[fallow umbra]

see it's kind of the pushing point though

[split patio]

Listen it’s hard I even try to think about suicide

I had a knife in my head one point in my life just thinking about it

But I didn’t

I got my emotions under control

[fallow umbra]

well like ive tried

but i wasnt strong enough to push the dull knife through my chest

[split patio]

#crisis-hotlines

Listen you need help

[fallow umbra]

nty they weird

[split patio]

Like

This is hard

You been through trauma you need help

[fallow umbra]

im aware i need help, yet i will not put the effort and faith into anyone at this point to accualy help me

[split patio]

Please seek it

[fallow umbra]

i do refuse sorry

all i need is a reason to live

so

i will wander around emotionlessly until i find it

[split patio]

You don’t have to be alone

[fallow umbra]

im aware i dont have to

yet currently i am

so