This is just another one of my vents that I wanted to scream. Stupid unless mind that can't think properly, can't think straight, it's a curse, I can't be independent, my I kept overreacting. I'm not the definition of normal. I'm trying to maintain my composure and end up giving in to the voices; why am I so slow? My coordination and awareness were terrible. I kept being reminded by my classmates. Now I'm crying when I'm writing.
I felt I was weighing myself down; the last time I thought I had an interview, I dressed up only to realise I had not; what shall I do? I tried thinking twice, but my thoughts kept wandering around; around there were so many problems. The only thing I can do is to focus now yet.. these small inconveniences are pulling me down. I was jealous that someone with a disability, maybe neurodivergent disability. Get used to handling their emotions and staying calm. I looked like a fool, I felt like I was worthless, and I was broken down already. I hated myself; I hated my condition. I wanna die. How do some people live their lives with mental issues? Why do I downer them? Fuxking dumpster, no issues with focus or body coordination. It looked like this condition was still making me have training wheels; no, I wanted to get out of them and grow. Shit, I still need guidance all the time; my God, can I just do things on my own and learn to be independent and figure things out by myself rather than them looking like a burden, stupid brain and body. I'd made myself an embarrassment like my life was an inconvenience to others to babysit me. I hated that I cried while still writing this; I had an emotionally dysfunctional disorder. I can Try and try to control and couch my habits. It's like it's a part of me. It takes time, as they say. Be patient with yourself; I felt like I was burned with myself. I'm tired of trying to lecture myself; I'm so tired of myself. I cried over the small inconveniences that I did
#I hated Living with Adhd
glass vector
glass vector
Last time I had my interview. I don't know how to do Improve, I practice my mock job but unexpectedly I kept stuttering because I was nervious, I try to keep calm by smiling but I kept stuttering because I don't know any damn words
Yes I may be slight calm but out of no where I can't even control how ill speak.
Atleast it's a mock job, I'd past
When I realized I had only 3 out of 8 checks in my test I felt so terrible
Honestly as a person who can't learn any impulse control was difficult to even do