Sheesh blueballs & "sorta girlfriends" stern family.

[tall rapids]

Trigger warning is that I'm a bit of a jerk in a lot of ways here, but im authentic and if anyone wants to let me know what bugs them about this I'll take some notes.

Okay so to begin I want to get it out immediately, my daily life is hard and extremely work-oriented. This is not a "poor me" thing this is a source of pride for me and the field of work I'm is one I am deeply in love with and extremely passionate and nerdy about but it also deteriorates people very harshly over time (the cancer that killed dad came from nickel and chromium build up doing Heavy Fabrication/repair of mining equipment). I also grew up with very, very traditional male values placed on me, in my uncles words "you swing that hanmer like a whimp" heavier whack followed by "good stuff shauno" and have a stern stepfather who was a combat engineer in the ADF and a biological father in a black collar trade.

The girl (19f) I am "seeing" has had her family move in with us.

Our family values and experiences in relationships are completely different, And this is causing conflicts.

[tall rapids]

I get along generally well with the families of girls I have been in relationships with in the past. I learnt so much, from many break ups and embarassing slip ups lol. As in a couple main ones like; don't be that guy who just goes straight to her room with her without really hanging with the family and her at the same time first or that guy who cares too much what the family thinks which lead to not caring at all then evolving to caring but remembering that I'm here for the girl not to make her family love me lmao. So I've messed up a lot and learned a lot.

However my close homie galpal I'm currently sort of with in a way and who I really really genuinely like both emotionally and physically and now that I have been out of that horny teenager phase for quite some time and sex is no longer a giant driving factor behind things and that I know I genuinely hold my current girlfriends best interests at heart.

It's really rough to admit that through the "teenage horny phase" it was always "what can I say that sounds like im worthwhile" but now I it Is completely different on this it's more "what can we do to actually have fun together?"

On the other hand She hasn't had those experiences or those sorts of relationship mess ups that develop our abilities to have much more realistic relationships as adults, Me and her went to same highschool, she just sat by herself she wasn't sad or shy, she is a confident person and can talk to people really well and go out on stages for speeches just someone who basically was actually at school to learn and enjoy personal hobbies and interests rather than the social aspect of it.

Because of this she is exploring This with me and she gets super awkward with it and this comes back around to her family.
Her only boyfriend before me was one she broke up with because first time he was in her room he was pretty touchy grabby, and she called it off immediately.

Because of that the dude set the standard and that is the disgustingness i am compared to by her family.

The things they do would have been things that wouldnt have meant much to me at all but she did tell me that her dad had a cigarette and spoke a lot and really got along with the other guy. But her dad "doesn't want to go through that sort of thing again"

So her old man didn't even say hi first time I met him.

Which was cool to me I wouldn't pat the guy who is seeing my daughter on the back either i totally get that but its very icky feeling now that I know that's the reason. She then went on about how a coiple weeks later her brother was offering an ear "if something does happen you can come to me" sorta way.

And I explained to her that this isn't any of my business, im happy and proud that she is comfortable enough to share this with me and I'm always open to listen to what's on her mind but not at the cost of me getting urges to prove my value in this way. Basically told her that she should tell her family about how it annoys her not me because that's not my business.