#An Unimportant Journal for a stupid guy

47 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

random mountain
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I am just gonna start this cuz i have nothing else to do besides maybe drugs and i don't wanna start that, this is mostly gonna be me yapping about my toxic relationship.

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I don't feel like talking a lot today so ill just throw some stuff here without much context

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so like after 2 years she broke up w me cuz straightup she doesnt wanna put effort in the rs no more

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And ima be like cruel and maybe even selifsh in this journal cuz i cant be anywhere else

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apparently rn she wants to fix stuff w me

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or one day she does and the other she doesnt

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shes basically having fun w me

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only words with no action

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man barely even words now

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just today

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Found out she following lots of guys

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call me insecure or wtv man but this is like the least bit of respecting your partner

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i confronted her about it

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she says she didnt talk to any of them

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and apologizes

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she says shes really sorry after?

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she said she meant that apology after

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like okay great

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maybe i overreacted and she just didnt notice

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as if we havent been in a rs for 2 years

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and fyi this is the 4th time i point it out

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and then i ask her if shes gonna act on it this time

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and iam like expecting her to do anything

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Then i get this?????

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thats after she prolly ignored me for a few hours

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just actually what the fuck man

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I went through lots of shit for this

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i should block her

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i really should

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its the least i should do

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but i love her

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its hella painful dude

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i wish i could just forget all about her

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I have every right to hurt her back, i have the ability to even but i dont cuz its not fucking humane yet shes doing EVERYTHING to hurt me

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and she wouldnt just leave me

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she gives me hope and shit

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and iam like hey i should forgive

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i want her

random mountain
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i stopped fighting for the rs, i told her its not use like continuing this or that we're better off as friends? shes the one who wanted that btw and ofc i dont want it in any way for itll just be painful for me obviously i cannot see her as a friend but its a step

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maybe time will seperate us

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maybe ill build up enough courage or like not care enough to block her

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idk its really stupid of me i knwo what i should do but iam not doing it

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trying every other thing

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I just really dont like losing people yk, especially if its someone i adored this much for 2 years. I be suffering over losing a stupid friend bruh

random mountain
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another day with a tight chest, feels exhusting just to breathe

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I really want it to go away