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I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. I can't pretend to have all the answers, but I hear how much you're hurting, and I want you to know you're not alone in this moment, even though it can feel like you're isolated.
It’s incredibly painful when it feels like everything is working against you, and when you’ve tried so many things to get help and nothing changes, that exhaustion can be suffocating. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be frustrated when it feels like you’re not being heard, especially after reaching out so many times.
Though the road has been so unfair to you, I want to emphasize that your life and well-being matter. If it’s possible at all, I’d encourage you to try reaching out to communities online where people understand what it’s like to feel trapped or isolated, even though that can’t replace face-to-face support. The people who understand might not be able to fix everything, but they can offer empathy and be a lifeline when it feels like no one else is there.
It’s hard to see any light when everything is so dark, but if you can, please keep holding on, even if just a little longer. No matter how stuck you feel, your life is still worth fighting for.