I cant do this anymore

[sudden sand]

Im going to cut this short because otherwise it will take a long read, i will divide the story in two parts because there is a long cut between part 1 and 2, enjoy my nonsense lmao

Part 1
I had a gf and after 2 weeks i broke up with her, she called me crying we went out and i forgave her so we got back together. Then, after many months she wanted to break up because she doesnt have time with her job. I was broken but after a couple months i almost got over it, one night at 12 am she calls me and tells me that she wanted to go out. When i heard that, my heart stopped for a couple of seconds. I havent agreed to something this quickly ever. We went out and talked until 3/4 am and we repeated the same thing for the next couple of days. Apparently she had gotten into an accident and broke her knee pretty bad wich gave her time to go away from work. We repeat the process for 4 weeks and we started to get pretty touchy, i wanted to ask her to be my gf again, so i had a date planned for a monday. On sunday she went to a birthday and told me shed be home and was gonna call me to talk at around 11/12am or so. So i waited.. and waited.. until 3 am when she told me she had gone with the others to this rich guys place to continue. Ouch.. whatever i still have the date planned for monday and after i got off work i called her to confirm that she was coming. She told me that she cant make it and that she had to do some stuff and all but i was like “ okay im gonna ask her on

tuesday i guess” but we still facetimed monday night but she wasnt really -there- you know? She wasnt really talking and i could see that she was messaging someone because her face was lighting up. Mind you we were cuddling, holding hands, watching movies together, spooning and all, but we hadnt kissed yet. Oh and she told me that she had feeljngs for me. So I ask her if everything was okay and if there was something she wanted to talk about since she wasnt really interested in talking. She told me (and pretty proudly at that) that she had met someone while they were at this rich dudes place, and that she had felt a click with him. And im like aight thats just nonsense but she was laughing and telling me how cool that guy was and all… i was gonna ask her out the same day that she was telling me that.. ANYWAYS We ralked for 2 more days and she had really fallen for him during those days and i hust felt like a choice doing that time period.. so i just told her that i cant talk to her anymore and that i cant just look at her because i loved her too much to have that kind of relationship. So we stopped talking.. THATS PART ONE BTW ABAGAGA

Part 2 nooooww

So cut 5 weeks later which is New Year’s Eve aka yesterday.
I was just about to fall asleep at around 6 am and i was getting a call. I thought it was mom or dad for some reason. I read her name on my phone and im like “oh shit i guess its time for a new chapter and a new life lesson to happen yay” and i pick up. She was piss fucking drunk and was telling me how much she misses me and that she cant stop thinking about me and all but idk if thats bullshit or if she actually ment that. Soo my stupid feelings relit again and im so drunk right now i want to puke so bad and all

We talked for around 2 hours and at some point i actually asked her why was she calling me and not the other mf and she told me that he was just stupid.

Idk what to do anymore

This is my 3rd time forgiving her

I know that if something was to happen ill forgive her again and again and again

She is just my weak spot