round mango
I'm tired asf mentally it's draining idk how long I've put up wi' this... Sometimes venting to my friends, either it ends up making me feel shittier or turns my friendship with those people fragile and it breaks me... I don't know what to do. I don't wanna bother anyone either I feel defeated and stressed depressed I tried pretending I'm fine for who knows how long. I came here hoping I could find a way to heal or ig become a better person
I have to keep dealing with my family calling me a bad daughter/ bad disciplined/ two Faced/ selfish/ hypocrite.... In any case they so often make me sound like a problem or say shit about not wanting wishing I didn't live with them wishing they didn't do things for me, telling me I don't deserve the good things happening to me. I developed bad anger issues ik my short temper if anything is making things worse for me... I've heard these perceptions of me from everyone around me for so long I'm conflicted somewhere in the middle of questioning why I'm such a bad person and believing that I am
It ruins my mental health I feel drained constantly tired not wanting to socialize and wanting to shut myself out of everyone's life, when good things happen I cannot enjoy it thinking I don't deserve it, thinking I'm someone to be tolerated. I've had sum instances this year that worsened my mental state. My parents don't let me take therapy nor do I have the money for it but I heard it helps so.... If anyone is willing to ig, I'd appreciate it