Tons of regrets

[pure kayak]

16 years old male here
I have many regrets about the recent years I’ve been through
1 having my parents pay a ton of money for an education institution which I stopped going months ago because I couldn’t get myself to
2 didn’t go to high school much missed out on too much of my teenage life
3 didn’t study at all I know nothing and my final exams are coming up next month
4 have no friends because I wasn’t there where I was supposed to
5 didn’t participate in anything because I missed out on the opportunity
6 might not get into college next year because my grades have fallen
7 might have to repeat my 12th grade (which is a really big deal here)
8 have no confidence because of being skinny and darker so get called slurs a lot
9 didn’t enjoy my youth because no one to do that with
10 just loneliness
11 being afraid that even if I by the slightest chance get into college won’t make any friends and remain alone
12 unsupportive parents because I fail to meet their expectations
I still have a bit of time to study and be prepared for my exams but it seems too difficult I just need some motivation any help is appreciated 🤍

[lean garnet]

Hello there.
I want to say a couple of things: I feel like nobody on earth would do things that are going to put them in a complicated situation in life. I'm saying this because a big part of what you shared here seems like blaming somebody (likely yourself), and I feel like that's not the point: you could blame yourself, your parents or somebody who screwed your mental health, but at the end of the day none of that is going to change your life.
Also feeling lonely is a big theme here on the internet, there could be many reasons why you may be feeling like that, in my experience I believe the reason why people are alone is because we are afraid of socializing (because we don't have experience and we think that everything we are going to say is going to be awkward) or we don't know where to find people to talk to (I live in somewhat small town).

If I could give you my advice, I would start by acknowledging your problems (which you did) and just picked one of your problems and just focus on improving that one. You could start by asking yourself why you are skipping classes, and why you are choosing to do that instead of attending to classes, and also ask yourself why you have to finish school. I believe you will find a new purpose that you didn't know you have.

I know, easier said than done. But please reply back I want to hear what you think! I hope that was helpful