oblique inlet
i have always probably been the tougher guy to talk to considering my interests are pretty niche and specific compared to others; life has been okay in the past 3 years right up until maybe 10 months ago. i know i'm weirder compared to others and that i probably talk weird compared to others but it has been starting to surface more and more. i can always hear people complaining about me, i feel so unappreciated and hated. i constantly endure people calling me weird and never understanding my perspective, i'm sadly the type of person that you can't say many indirect things to and then expect me to understand them, i need just clear step by step instructions and people get so annoyed by it.
i used to have many friends, it dropped to mainly online friends and i used to be happy. i cry at least 4 times every day and i hide it from my family. they wouldn't care considering i get yelled at every day and my brother constantly mistreats me and my family just does nothing about it. my mom constantly yells at me and my dad doesn't contribute anything to the family and my brother just verbally abuses me and/or actually slaps or hits me and nothing is done except one singular yell from my mom and then he does it again and my brother just seemingly sometimes attacks me for no reason
in school i have no one i can consider a friend and nobody acknowledges me, and when i try to talk to someone i usually just get misunderstood or they get weirded out by me for no reason despite me doing nothing. i have only two true true friends i can consider trustworthy. they're both only, one being a girl and the other being a guy i met 3 years. i trust the girl the most and we caught feelings for each other and we're surprisingly in the same situation as each other and we wish we could meet each other but i don't think we can, although our countries border right next to each other. the other guy has been with me for years and has always been loyal and someone i can talk to but