I've been struggling to figure out how to deal with this for a while but I haven't succeeded.
What exactly should I do when my family is constantly commenting on how I look?
A few months ago, I had a breakout. My parents don't visit very often but when they did, the first thing my mom did was stress about my acne.
"Oh my God why do you have so much acne?! Sleep earlier and drink more herbal tea"
Happened over and over. I've constantly been stressing about it
I'm pretty sure that's been making it worse but I can't help it
My dad, who doesn't speak about beauty very often, he also began to stress about it.
When he came over, he asked
"Why does your face have all that?!?" And began to tap my face wherever I had acne
I told him
"It's fine, it's fine"
But he kept going "No. No. It's not okay."
And coming from an Asian family, my parents are constantly comparing me with siblings on who has the palest skin
Little things like "Oh I used to be pale and pretty before I had to start working more" from my mom get to me too
I have a lot of scars from when I used to cut and my mother was only ever worried about how it would look
"You better stop or your friends are gonna see in the summer and be disgusted
#Idk
toxic zealot
At first I had some hope that maybe this was her way of showing she cared, her way of telling me to stop, but I was wrong. Coincidentally, one of my scars looked like a flower to her and she told me "Ohh wow okay you can keep doing this one but don't do the other arm"
Even when I got hungry at night, my mom would tsk and tell me I was gonna be fat if I eat, that she could already see my stomach bulging
Sometimes she would comment on my body when I was simply trying on clothes she told me to
"Why are your hips like that"
Or
"Can you try to look more like a lady?"
I feel like my parents care more about how I look than they care about me.
My mother was completely fine with me skipping back to back meals because I told her I had to lose weight. Sometimes I wished she would insist that I eat rather than give me a smile and say "Okay then"
They spent money on things that will supposedly make my skin better if I drink them, even if those things are expensive.
My dad HATES spending money on things we don't necessarily need but when my mom told him she had spent a lot of money on some drink that was rumored could make my skin nice again
He said "oh yeah it doesn't matter as long as my daughter will be pretty"
It's gotten so bad I can't look at myself without wanting to throw up
Am I really that ugly?
I can live if it's someone from school who says this shit but I can't if it's the people I've lived with my whole life and will have to continue living with for the rest of it
I really don't know what to do
I've tried to talk to them about it but when I confront them
"Oh it was a joke when I said that, can't you take a joke?"
Or
"I just want my daughter to be pretty"
Or more words regarding their stress about how I'm not gonna find a guy who likes me because I'll be ugly
I'm tired of this but I can't stop myself from skipping one more meal
Going for one more run even if I'm dizzy
Trying to bleach my skin
Staring and scratching at the little bumps on my skin
I'm sorry for sharing more than the general issue
Please let me know how I should deal with this
toxic zealot
i dont wanna do this anymore