Felt unseen but maybe it's my fault

[grizzled owl]

okay so i've been talking to this guy who i've found on an app. he was visiting my country for a vacation. his fam lives here. he lives in canada. his sister forced him to download the app even tho he is against it and voila, we matched. started off as friendship and we've flirted every now and then. we actually connected pretty good but we're both afraid of starting a relationship so we've settled on just friendship for now. we've both had a rough childhood and he said this quite often to me that 'i believe broken people finds broken people'. he knows im not in a good place so while he was here, he did reassure me that talking to him can be a safe space for me anytime i need with no judgement and also told me that given that we never really met, he will still stay connected with me even after he goes back and that's the impact i apparently left with him. if anything, he found a really 'dope human' in his life he said. now, after he left, he has been quite busy being back to work, etc. but he is still actually trying to stay connected with me. every time i think he is about to ghost me when i see hours of no reply, he actually does come back and leaves me a small voice note telling me how his day went and asking how i am. been 2 1/2 weeks that we've been in contact since the first day we matched. everyday. even if it's a few texts every now and then or a snap or two throughout the day updating me. ---rest continued in the comment section

all good until today. told him at first in my voice note about how im swamped with studies and other work and then in the end i said "had an incredibly tough week, just honestly pulling myself through the day". the last line was about my mental health which i did not say it directly because i thought he would understand what i meant. he only replied to my stressful rant about my studies and work but not the latter which made me wonder if it was a mistake on my part for not being more clear and he assumed i meant about studies and work. then i thought of trying again by texting 'feel like im declining, think it's getting worse' right after my little rant about my work. now im wondering again if he misunderstood by thinking i meant about work. either way, i reached out twice and that's something i don't easily. i feel like taking a million steps backward and not be vulnerable anymore like that again. am i wrong for feeling like this? is it my fault i wasn't more clear? feel like i sound like a burden and always have this negative energy with me because of my mental health and need to go back to pretending im perfectly alright and continue talking that way. he also liked my story when i posted myself the first time and today when i did, he didn't. the flirting is no more after he left. been a week he left. the flow has reduced than before but maybe because his vacation is over and he is back to his life or idk. but he has been in constant contact even if it's a text or two or sending a reel or sending a snap from his day.

i'm overthinking and i hate it. hate how i let myself feel a little vulnerable around someone even when i decided not to. deep inside, i want to let him know exactly how i feel about all of it and go literal cuckoo with my text but i have no right to do it at this stage. ill come off crazy and scare him away because we settled on friendship for now. things could also never move forward. i never know. either way, i feel stupid as hell and being alone was the best decision instead of getting to know someone.

[daring violet]

You're not wrong for feeling like this, but you might be wrong in expecting him to act like a partner when you have clearly "settled on just friendship for now" and also being only 2.5 weeks into knowing each other.
You're not stupid or anything, it's just that there's no switch in your brain that you can flip and stop yourself from developing feelings towards someone and remain "just friends". It's not that easy to be just friends.

[grizzled owl]

I want to protect myself from how I feel about all of it. I'm confused what's the right way to approach this.