#am i asking for too much?

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

spare swallow
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hi! i wanna preface this with that i have no anger towards my girlfriend! i love her so much and i know none of this is her fault!

anyways, my girlfriend spends a lot of time with her friends. we are still in school and participate in theatre together, we spend a ton of time with school friends and theatre friends. she also spend a lot of her downtown talking to her other friends over discord. i’ve met and are good friends with some of her friends! it’s just getting to a point where i don’t feel as equal with them. sometimes she’ll ask me to join to talk or play games with her friends and i sometimes do when i can! i’m just really starting to feel like she is spending more time with them and kinda shoving me off. she has a short social battery with me specifically, so she often asks for space or just more time with her friends. this feeling didn’t start till school started back up and her and i started facetiming/calling more! idk if it’s a me thing, thinking i need more than i actually do, or if there is something not normal about this. i’ve talked with her about it, and we agreed to spend out in person time (which we don’t get a lot of) doing more things to feel like time is well spent, but also trying to make me equal. she’s had a few chances to choose me and spend time with me over her friends, and she still picks them and just wants me to go with her. idk what i’m supposed to feel

jolly folio
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A friendship and a relationship is very different for many people
Sometimes people just like spending time with friends , and if your gf is not purposefully ignoring you then it is fine

What you are feeling right now is because you used to spend more time with her but now the time has reduced as school has started, which is quite normal, in every relationship people want some space sometimes, and its better to give them time to spend as they want

That being said , being jealous over someone who seems to have a greater connection with her is also normal, and many times partners are closer to their friends , thr bond and trust you have with each other is more important
And sometimes just being there has to be enough

Try to be patient and understanding
Hope you two be happy 😇😇

waxen timber
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^^ this, also it's good that your giving her this time with her friends because it makes her even happier that you can recognize that even she needs time with her own friends

spare swallow
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thank you all so much, things have definitely been super busy for the both of us, but i don’t have as many or as close friends as she does. so i often tend to have a lot of down time that i either used to choose to spend with her, but now try and pick up new hobbies. i’ve talked with her and she understands my feelings, and promised me that she will also have time set aside to spend with me, and we planned for this friday and saturday to be and “us” weekend, we where are going to lunch and watching a local musical! i just didn’t want it to spiral and get worse, it’s gotten to points where i did feel ignored and almost neglected in the relationship, but we hopefully have talk and shared ideas and thoughts on how to make both feel heard and seen and loved!

jolly folio