I met her 1 year ago, she texted me on discord and said she was texting all her old friends to play the fortnite og season
#My wife left me about a month ago and i cant live with this kind of pain anymore
trail copper
we started talking and playing more than she did with the others
she was in a relationship tho so i didnt have high hopes
once we knew eachother better she told me about her boyfriend being abusive towards her
sand she wanted to leave him
and we kinda fell in love i guess
the first time we met was clost to my house i told my mom im going to a friend for 3 days cause im muslim and she wouldnt allow me having a girlfriend
we booked a hotel for 3 days and those 3 days were the best 3 days of my life
she was so beautiful
She was scared that i wouldnt liek the way she looked but she was genuenly the most beautiful girl on the world for me
on the second day i asked her to be my girlfriend at nightä
and i wanted to kiss her then but i was too nervous
the first time we kissed was like 30mina fter that tho
we enjoyed 8 amazing months
the best months of my life
happiest months of my life
she started having panick attacks and was doing bad
because of her work maybe idk
we had a holyday booked and wanted to go to egypt
but we had to cancle it because she didnt feel good
since she was doing so bad she said it might be better for me to go home
i live 400km away
my parents cam to pick me up
and they are muslims so they started hating her for "kicking me out"
i respected her discission even tho it hurt me alot
i went home and we texted like we used to
still loved eachother
she went on holydays with her parents
and she was getting better
atleast i thought
when she was back home she qwas meeting her friends again
at that point i have not seen her for like 3 weejkse
i asked her 3 times if i could visit her again
she said i stil wouldnt understand her situation
i just wanted to see her again
i went trough alot of fights with my family because they disliked her since she kicked me out yk
anyway
she didnt want me to come
and it hurt everytime she said i shouldnt come
but i respected her discisiion
the last time i asked was when i didnt see her fpr like 1 1/2 months
she started texting so cold
without any feelings without any love
and she broke up that day
i asked her for the reason why she did what she did
she said she didnt like that i didnt let her meet her male friends
i didnt allow her to ride her motorcycle and i didnt want her to move far away for collage
but thats not a thung i didnt allow her i
she always said she wanted to move as far away as she could and instead of saying we could work things out and see when we can meet eachother she just said she wouldnt know how we could meet
i didnt allow her to dress a certain way
but i did all of that just because i loved her so much
i didnt let her meet her male friends because i didnt want to loose her
i didnt allow her to ride her motorcycle cause i was scared she might get into an accident
i just loved her more than anything else
and i still do
i sent her flowers aevery week when i coudltn visit her
with a card telling her how proud i am of her for being so strong while she is going trough that rough time
now we have been split up fpr 1 month
and 4 days
i dream of her every night
and i tried killing myself 15th of october
i called a friend tho
and we talked for hours
if he wasnt there i genuenly dont know if id be texting in this dicord right now
every time i wake up i just feel so bad
i got denied by my collage
i have a police case for something i didnt do rn
and my wife left me
i have nothing anymore
ive been going to the gym 6/7 times a week
ive started a fulltime job as a video editor
started reading books
started going to boxing lessons and learning piano
and people are thinking im "picking my life up again"
but it doesnt feel like it
i cant be happy without her
she told me to send her her stuff now
and she sent me my stuff
it arrived today
i keep on breaking down cause i just think about her
the thought that i will never kiss her never see her again just hurts so much
cause she was the only person that actually made me happy
i dont know what to do
ive been going to driving lessons
imdoing everything to get distracted
but once im at home again i just feel so down
and im scared that i try killing myself again
i just cant handle this pain
ive been thinking
im going to send her a letter after i sent her her stuff
telling her im sorry for my mistakes
that i love her
and that i wish her the best
cause i love her so much
and if she can only be happy without me
then thats ok
everything i want is her to be happy