im very , very close to actually commiting

[icy ocean]

im, in so much pain , im fidgeting with my painkillers to actually end it , im in so , so , so much mental agony

[dry onyx]

hey just gonna let you know we can’t really handle suicidal thoughts as good as a mental health professional, if you are in immediate danger of committing I would highly recommend calling 988.

[icy ocean]

i tried them 18 times , never worked , they made me feel even worse somehow , i totaly resent them at this point

so called "professinals" make me feel even more depressed

just , please , i dont want to be alone

please , somebody

anybody

[abstract stream]

Hi

Cyn are you there

[icy ocean]

im here

fck,

[abstract stream]

What is causing you to feel this way

[icy ocean]

life

everything

everything is breaking apart

[abstract stream]

Ik how you feel

[icy ocean]

i also just took 1200 mg ibuprofen , like literally 2 minutes ago

[abstract stream]

What in particular is breaking apart

[icy ocean]

so if im gone , i passed out

[abstract stream]

You should call 911 right now

[icy ocean]

1200 not lethal

[abstract stream]

What’s the normal dose

[icy ocean]

400

[abstract stream]

Overdosing will only make things worse trust me

[icy ocean]

i have been doing this for the past 2 weeks

atleast

[abstract stream]

What aspects of your life make you influenced to do this

[icy ocean]

every , i have never been happy , my life sucked , and now its breaking apart , everything i had (barely anything) is getting destroyed

[abstract stream]

What is getting destroyed

In particular

You know when everything gets destroyed you can now start on a blank slate

[icy ocean]

what is left of my family , and my financial possesions

[abstract stream]

I’m sorry your dealing with these things

Financially you lost a lot of money?

[icy ocean]

my entire bank acount got stolen

[abstract stream]

Did you find out how this happened

[icy ocean]

yes

[abstract stream]

Do you know how to prevent it from happening in the future now

[icy ocean]

no , they have all my data , they can do with my identity whatever they want

[abstract stream]

You should switch banks

What country do you live in

[icy ocean]

hungary

[abstract stream]

Is there any reputable banks in your area

[icy ocean]

mostly this one i use now

[abstract stream]

Was this bank the one that stole your money

[icy ocean]

the bank didnt stole it , a hacker did in 8 countires away

[abstract stream]

He stole it from this bank and the bank couldn’t do anything about it?

Did this hacker steal from other people too

[icy ocean]

yes

[icy ocean]

no

[abstract stream]

Do you know why he targeted you

Our first step is to figure out how to have a secure bank account so this never happens again

We need to figure out why and how this happened and how to counter this

[icy ocean]

idk

idk

[abstract stream]

I know it sounds old school but maybe for now ask to get your pay checks in cash and store it in a vault

Till we can figure out why somone is able to reach your bank account

[icy ocean]

got fired

[abstract stream]

What profession did you do

And why were you fired

[icy ocean]

warehouse administrator

[icy ocean]

they got someone better

[abstract stream]

Were you interested in this field

[icy ocean]

yeah

[abstract stream]

Since you don’t know why a hacker is targeting your bank for now store all your money in a vault make sure any money you acquire is in cash

Cash is king

[abstract stream]

Any other jobs you interested in

[icy ocean]

i think about future and find nothing , im mentaly ill , insane even , i dont even know my surroundings anymore , i cant see another way but ending it

[abstract stream]

There’s always another way

Are you clinically diagnosed with certain illnesses?

[icy ocean]

i am , with many , but this is different

noone understands tis

i think its just insanity

[abstract stream]

The human mind is amazing

After WW2 a lot of soldiers were considered mentally unstable and ‘insane’ but if you listen to their interviews over time with willpower they fixed themselves

Even soldiers with horrible PTSD overcame it and lived fufilling lives

I promise you whatever you have somone has had it and overcame it before

Hell soldiers have survived after losing parts of their brain to gunfire and explosions and they still overcome that

Our brains are the most complicated and amazing thing in the universe

It just needs a lot of patience

But if you are consistent every day will get a little bit easier

[icy ocean]

its been like this for 10 years . i gave up

[abstract stream]

What have you been doing so far to combat your mental illnesses

[icy ocean]

therapists , atleast 20

antidepressants

changes

[abstract stream]

Therapists and medicine can only do so much

[icy ocean]

i tried to change , didnt work

[abstract stream]

What in particular are your mental illnesses

[icy ocean]

adhd ,autism , ocd , ptsd , trauma , personality disorders , severe depression

[abstract stream]

Ok well I have ADHD Autism and OCD and I’ve had depression so I have a little bit of knowledge on those things

Are you a boy or a girl

[icy ocean]

boy

[abstract stream]

How old are you

[icy ocean]

20

[abstract stream]

Other than work what were you doing on a day to day basis

[icy ocean]

my hobbies

[abstract stream]

What are your hobbies

[icy ocean]

loved animating drawing and paying piano

[abstract stream]

Really cool hobbies do you still keep up with them?

Do they make you feel happy

[icy ocean]

i do

[icy ocean]

im never happy

[abstract stream]

Do you excersie

[icy ocean]

Walk the dog

[abstract stream]

You should start playing sports bro

[ocean fossil]

Sound like attention seeker to me

[icy ocean]

Think what you think, if you are not here to help then go away

[foggy geode]

ngl you're just making stuff worse, respectfully shut the hell up, people here take these themes seriously and don't call out an "attempt" of attention seeking.

also, to the op, you shouldn't end this permanently as this can be fixed, at least still. one thing is that as someone already said, this server barely has any professionals and its more based around trying to give comfort and help, outside that we can't do much, there's lots of lines an therapists outside the digital world that I'm sure would help you, as well as your parents, IF your relationship is good with them.

if you want to know the other lines just check out #crisis-hotlines

[icy ocean]

what i wrote is the least of my problems tho , i have gotten used to this "autopilot mode" and i can live with that , life is throwing stuff at me at the moment that i cannot live with

[spare kraken]

Sorry for just jutting in, but i can relate with the "autopilot mode" thing

If your struggling, dont throw your life away, because everything you coudlve done with your life will never happen

U might do something great in your life later on

[icy ocean]

my mother is 90% going to go to prison for 10 years for something she didnt do , me and my dad cant pay the hoouse so we will end up on the street , im lonely , and i have been having nonstop diarrhea for the past 6 months

and thats about 30% of what happened this month

[spare kraken]

My dad has restarted 7 times in his life

Hes 70

He went from the streets to a hotel room to a house, and lost it all

He is my inspo to keep going when i feel empty and sad

Even if you feel hopeless, always remember if you keep going, you will thank yourself later on

If you ever want to talk about this, dm me, im happy to help figure things out if you feel down

[icy ocean]

my mom will die before she comes out

[spare kraken]

oh

Im sorry you have to go through this dude

[foggy geode]

same, i hope your situation gets better

[icy ocean]

i dont know if it could even get better , im lost , in pain , and abuse medicine , i feel like im a lost cause , i feel hopeless

[spare kraken]

It will get better

I assure you

You just have to keep trying, and it will pay off in the end