what do I do man

[trail ore]

I'm so lonely, I have one friend that might move away and i barely get to spend time with because her mom thinks im a horrible influence and that i make her do bad stuff: such as apparently we smoke together and i made her cut herself more because i was her inspiration or something which is absolutely INSANE. I have no friends left on discord, I do have some but we just talk a little and we aren't so close:/ I feel so suicidal, I wanna kill myself so badly and it's so tempting thinking about it because i know it's a way to end this constant loop of misery and misery and the same things over and over again and finally I wouldn't have to be me anymore I would be gone for once. I'm struggling with self harm again, I started last year october and i cut myself basically everyday of midway december and january as a whole. I took breaks in the spring and done it every two weeks or so and then in the summer started going up more extreme and often again and now I think I might've crawled back to the addiction because this is my fifth relapse in five days lol, it's so over.

[flint musk]

Hai i think I might understand what you feel but you can change that I know you feel you can't and it's possible but if you want to quit smoking or stop giving horrible advice give it a shot and stop doing that

[trail ore]

I can't just stop doing it man

I'm so sick of this

I'm genuinely done

I've tried to stop I turned to religion or something all cutesy to try and fix my issues

and it didn't work as usual

I'm unfixable

It's all so hopeless

[flint musk]

...

You're just lying to yourself that you can't, but it's really possible if you can, there's no "can't" in "can"

If you're trying to follow Jesus you really did to stop and start listening

You have time, that's what Jesus said, give it to him one by one not all, developed them one by one because you really can't handle it if you can't tell what you feel to him

[trail ore]

I can't give him anything it's just the truth everytime i try i mess up everyday and right now I have a pile of mortal sin and a bunch of the seven deadly sins commited on my back and i gotta go receive confession and I'm way too ashamed too go I've just given up I'm a lost cause I'm completely suicidal I just wanna kill myself my leg is numb from all of the cutting I've done lately I can't stop it I can't stop anything I have no control anymore

I dont wanna wake up tomorrow man

I dont wanna wake up in the morning I'm dreading it

[vagrant trail]

life is a huge chance that only comes once. Killing yourself is not a solution to problems. As for friends, I don’t have any (at all) and it ok I think.

[trail ore]

being born was one of the worst unluckiest things that have ever happened to me and i don't care if it only comes once its all shit. I dont like feeling alone and idk if it's alright because being alone while everybody else around me has their little boyfriends and girlfriends and friendgroups makes me uncomfortable and filled with rage. why should i keep living if it's just misery every single day? I'm just waiting for it to get worse by continuing dragging this mess on.

[vagrant trail]

Death is eternal nothingness, there will be no second life. The best thing you can do now is to improve your life.

[trail ore]

I'd rather have eternal nothingness than this

[vagrant trail]

Why? death is not a good solution, it's much better to become stronger and overcome it all

[trail ore]

I can't overcome it

at this point I'm better off dead

I'm a disappointment and failure to everybody around me

and i have no reason to be here

I have nothing left to live for lol

[vagrant trail]

u can overcome it because it is at least inherent in our nature. The fittest and the strongest survive, and that’s what you need to become.

[trail ore]

I cant

[vagrant trail]

when bones are broken they become harder

[vagrant trail]

when they broke me it only became a reason for me to become stronger

[vagrant trail]

when I was 14 years old I loved cutting myself, I also didn’t want to live to be honest. I was doing sewing on my body. Life is one such thing and after suicide you will never achieve anything. It’s better to try to become better and achieve something in life, death is the worst solution to problems

[trail ore]

if you were me you would know

I'm never gonna achieve anything man I dont even enjoy anything

I have no passions cause i suck at everything

[vagrant trail]

bro, I don’t like anything either, if you think about it that way. I'm empty. Until some time I just hung around in my room and only went out to go to the toilet and get food. I literally don't feel anything at all.

[trail ore]

why is it about you

[vagrant trail]

I'm a failure in life. I was never good at wrestling, never good at studying, never good at anything. and then I just began to develop, realizing that there was no point in sitting still

[vagrant trail]

go to martial arts, or join the army. it sounds very corny, but it helps.

[trail ore]

I dont want to I'm a bony pale 5'2 girl and i have close to no strength I'm weak as heck and also i dont think I would be qualified to join the army

I hate being touched so martial arts would kill me

[vagrant trail]

then try going to the gym

[trail ore]

why

I have no energy or motivation

[vagrant trail]

There is always a solution to problems, but death is not a solution, it will simply cut you off from life in general forever. at 11 I was a self-absorbed bastard with depersonalization, very low emotionality, depression and constantly cutting myself.