i want to kill something inside of me

[barren field]

I’ve been feeling depressed latelty, i need someone to talk to, i dont even know what’s the root of my problem. But the thing is i don’t really have someone to talk to, I’ve tried talking to an ai but i still feel emotionless,, I jst think that i’m weak if i ask someone for help

I’ve been wanting to end my life long time ago, and that feeling comes right back to me this time again. I am aware of what I feel and what I want, i just really can’t stop that thought. I’ve been praying, hoping that one day this depression will go away since it affects my overall performance.

Idk what’s my purpose, this feeling is overwhelming to the point that I dont even know what’s my problem.

[barren field]

Tbh, it’s overwhelming really, it first started with academics, then to my social life, and to almost everything, like literally everything.

I want to fix myself and at the same time i want to fill something empty inside of me yet idk what it is.

It all started when all things that I excel at started falling apart, and i can’t accept it. It’s like im losing control, idk man it’s really weird. Idk what’s my main problem but all i know is that I feel empty inside me, like I’m not living my life as I supposed to be

Yeah, I jst transferred to a new school, it’s a top university im not rlly used to it but everything became harder ever since. Tbh if it’s only my decision i will not transfer but for my parents i did.

Maybe it’s a new environment that’s why it also affects my mental health. But yeah it’s one of thefactors why i feel this way