frank spruce
I'm done with my life, motivation is pointless, changing is pointless. Nothing makes me happy.
For some context: It's been around 2 months since my ex-girlfriend decided to break up with me. The pain still hasn't gotten any better and has been getting worse recently. People don't listen to me vent as they think it's the same thing over and over again and it's getting repetitive and annoying. I have attempted to distract myself from the negative thoughts but my mind continues to overthink and I can't control it. Every day gets more and more draining. I can't imagine her with someone else. I have attempted to start the healing process by deleting chats and changing my passwords from her birthday to something else. But the mutual friends keep rubbing salt into my wounds by telling me how happy she is without me via her Instagram stories (she has bipolar and was very suicidal when she was with me). Every time I think about the relationship I break down. According to the mutual friends, she has went to cosplay with this new "girlfriend" of hers, I'm going more and more insane as I think about it. Her interests are vocaloid music and Ado, so due to their popularity, I get those types of media in my feed and recommended very often, and they just remind me of her again and makes me go through another journey of anger and disbelief. Some of the mutual friends have basically antagonized me because of what my ex-girlfriend has said and made me lose even more friends along the way. I can't accept reality and neither can I move on, I've tried so hard but I can't get over her, every day I get reminded that I used all of my effort into a relationship just to get antagonized and hurt. I don't want to live anymore.
I have done research on the most comfortable and quickest ways to commit suicide and I think that sleeping pills are my best option, screw moving on and changing, it wouldn't bring her back anyways, I'd rather die than be here.
thick fable
rare tulip