I messed up and I'm scared to lose her

[digital adder]

I thought I was an alright guy, but clearly I'm not.

My girlfriend found some stuff saved of other girls on my phone and also saw all the models I follow on Instagram.

I think she's on the verge of breaking up with me because she doesn't know if she can trust me. I want to make it work and reevaluate, but she thinks we may just end up breaking up if we decide to take a break.

I'm scared to lose her, but I'm also in an understanding that I brought this upon myself.

I've always been addicted to p*rn and, I suppose, have this perverted mindset. I want to change, but understandably, she doesn't know whether to risk believing me or not.

Her heart is shattered but I want to stay and help her pick up the pieces. What should I do? Or is it over for us..?

P.s. if context is needed to help understand either of our situations/backgrounds, feel free to ask or DM so I can explain.

UPDATE: she wants to stay with me and support me as I work to improve myself, but shes only giving me this ONE LAST chance for me to prove to her that i can be better for her. I have deleted all of my social media apps for now. I'm committed to resolving my issues, for both of us. I'll see yall on the flip side

[latent valley]

Explain it to her

That's the only way

Communicate

[digital adder]

What exactly do I explain??

I already explained to her about my addiction and perversion, everything I said in the 3rd paragraph is how she feels now after telling her this. Or am I not telling her enough

[latent valley]

Did you tell her before the relationship?

If you didn't, you broke her trust

[gentle lotus]

@digital adder you could try to come to an agreement with her that you will very much do everything in your power to quit, because it doesn’t seem like you’ve done that, and you can ask her for her support and for her to keep you accountable

You don’t get to be a gentleman and “help her pick up the pieces”

You get to become a man first, fix your own mess, and then you help her

I had an addiction too my friend

It’s not easy

But it’s doable

I confessed to my girl

And she comforted me and support me through it

And I’m clean now

But the thing is here I confessed, she didn’t find out and by the looks of it you never confessed

So that just makes the rupture even worse

So that’s about it

You have your own mess to clean and without you doing that first you can’t begin to mend the rupture

admit your mistake, addiction and perversion to her

And work on it

Take drastic measures to cut it all off

Might even have to delete social media

I know that’s what it took for me at some point

Best of luck my friend

[digital adder]

Thank you guys

She's trying to stay by my side, but I think she's drifting away.

She keeps asking me what more she needs to do for me because clearly she's not enough, and she points towards the stuff she found when she says that.

I'm guessing at this point it would just be best to part ways? I mean, is there an answer I can give to that question?

She also asks me if she's enough and why I hid those things. It hurts her because, respectfully, she has low self-confidence in her own body. Therefore, all of this would hurt her more of course.

Neither of us know what to do anymore.

So what happens now? Just part ways and work on myself?

[digital adder]

Indeed..

[bronze sandal]

From what im reading the moves you need to make are actions, not words

If you value you her over those urges unfollow those models and show that to her there are browsers you can use that actively blocks you from lewd sites you can also use if you want to go furhter and beond and of course show her that aswell beond that its up to her if she decides to trust you or not after all those things talk to her with confidence tell her that you value her over those things and that youre actively making actions to prove that.

If she still cant accept that well then its her choice. Nothing else you could do.

I do understand how strong those addictions can be so it takes effort if you value her over it try practice again and again

[gentle lotus]

You don't need to part ways to work on yourself, you can work on yourself with her support, show her that she is enough for you by working on quitting this addiction, making clear cut decisions and eradicating even the tiniest source of temptation towards it, if you do not do those things you will also often find yourself excusing your actions, you seem to speak, but it seems that you have not acted, as benren said, you need to offer actions in order to mend your relationship, not words nor explanations

I worked on myself with my girlfriend by my side

and she worked on herself by my side

we've been through pretty rough patches when it comes to hurting the other but we've always been able to come to a mutual understanding, fixing and forgiving of the issue with the other