Sooo.... This is kinda complicated, recently I got some issues regarding an older guy (qroomer) and I suddenly remembered about another older guy who screwed me over. He did not groomed me or anything serious like that. But to give context: We met when I was 13 and he's around 16 years old, online. I lied about my age for some time I told him I was 15 years old, he flirted with me but me being the young and inexperienced child didn't understood anything and he went immediately cold towards me after being honest about my real age. I cutted him off sometime after that. A few months later he reached out TO ME again, this time being fully aware of my age then lowkey flirting with me. I cutted him off again some time after that lolz. we didn't talked again until a year later. He texted me saying that he's just worried abt me. I got fed up with being back together talking to him again and then cut him off, so i just confessed how I truly feel and how hurt I feel about the mixed signals he kept on sending me. And uhm long story short, he- in response flirted and we kinda tried getting into a relationship. He just went cold though and after a few weeks of waiting for him he texted me saying he wants to break it off cuz he wants to focus on school. A week after that I found his twitter account and voila- he was posting about his ex gf, i found out he doesn't love me at all. I tried talking to him about it and his response was he was kinda mad? He just blocked me after that.
#Should I talk to him? I need advice
amber ermine
I just feel like he did me so dirty and injustice, I'm so mad right now. I have so many questions to him and many things to say
i just want my head to be cleared na
I don't want to hold this pain or trauma
I want closure ganon
Should I talk to him?
last raven
Should I talk to him?
No :)
amber ermine
Why?
last raven
Why?
I'm sure deep down what you really want is not closure, but some of that sweet validation and attention he used to sprinkle on you, and so you won't be able to resist the temptation of getting back together. You're too young for this.
amber ermine
I'm not sure that's how I feel...
Like im just so mad
What he did to me was traumatizing ngl
last raven
How would talking to him resolve the trauma?
amber ermine
I want to tell him how mad stupid he is, I want to cuss him out while asking him for clarifications
gilded marsh
@amber ermine
amber ermine
And ask him to just directly tell me that "I don't like you at all"
"I made you a rebound for my ex while knowing you are 14"
astral oyster
Uh i think u should find another guy
gilded marsh
There are some messed up people like that fully knowing what they are doing, essentially keeping backup people to talk to
last raven
And ask him to just directly tell me that "I don't like you at all"
That's what I meant by you seeking validation. You're still attached to him and care about his opinion.
So if he starts flirting with you as usual, you're just going to repeat the same cycle you described above.
astral oyster
Wait that was an online relationship?
amber ermine
yess
amber ermine
That's what I meant by you seeking validation. You're still attached to him and ...
But it's not grooming, right? :((
astral oyster
Just be cute and beautiful
gilded marsh
Block them Mei, it's better for you that way.
gilded marsh
But it's not grooming, right? :((
If he's 18 then it's grooming
amber ermine
Find in rl
No thanks, I just got groomed by another guy, I need to heal not rebound:((
amber ermine
If he's 18 then it's grooming
He is:((
gilded marsh
No thanks, I just got groomed by another guy, I need to heal not rebound:((
That's perfect
amber ermine
But idk..
gilded marsh
The best thing to do is just cut them out entirely and focus on yourself
astral oyster
What groomed means i dont know(
gilded marsh
I know someone who was in your exact situation.
gilded marsh
Or he's just stupid?
Both lol
amber ermine
Idk if he actually intended to groom me
gilded marsh
He knew your age
astral oyster
Wait dose it mean that his r*pe u?
amber ermine
noo
gilded marsh
If they know what age you truly are then they are fully aware of what they are doing
amber ermine
Wait dose it mean that his r*pe u?
grooming is taking advantage of someone young
manipulating them
astral oyster
grooming is taking advantage of someone young
Like pedophile?
gilded marsh
Yeah
astral oyster
Oh
amber ermine
If they know what age you truly are then they are fully aware of what they are d...
Really? :((
last raven
But it's not grooming, right? :((
It'd be better if you don't dwell on this too much. He probably doesn't even know what he's doing.
gilded marsh
Really? :((
Yes.
amber ermine
I hate him but I trust that they knew better than that
astral oyster
3 years i think thats not a big sense
amber ermine
I can't comprehend and accept that thought...
amber ermine
3 years i think thats not a big sense
we have a 4 year age gap
gilded marsh
Look, the best thing is just to cut them out and focus on yourself. It can be very mentally taxing on the victim.
astral oyster
Look, the best thing is just to cut them out and focus on yourself. It can be ve...
ye
And dont talk to him
amber ermine
But i dont think it's attention and validation from him that I want,,
I just want to scream and be honest about how much I hate him
I just want to properly communicate
Holy shit
this realization is
no way
haahahaha
no
I don't know how to accept that
last raven
I just want to scream and be honest about how much I hate him
Just think about it. If it's truly about venting it out, why wouldn't it work if you do it to someone else? :')
You need to deattach and stop caring.
amber ermine
oh
lol
But no way?? He groomed me??
I can't accept that
But the more I think about it:((
last raven
Didn't you say in your message "He did not groomed me or anything serious like that"?
amber ermine
I thought about the things he did to me and the fact that he knew of my age the entire time
He's 18
But im confused
Shouldn't he have acted more terrible towards me if he did?
last raven
I thought about the things he did to me and the fact that he knew of my age the ...
I don't think merely knowing about age would qualify it as grooming. However, you have to also keep in mind that you're not a total victim here. You lied about your age and kept talking to him every time he reached out to you after you cut him off.