I feel that I am psychologically traumatized after visiting my MIL and SIL

[autumn kayak]

I live in Asia with my husband. Due to the pandemic and my pregnancy, we visited Europe last year after 5 years to see my husband's family. It was the first time my two kids met his family, enduring a difficult 18-hour flight. By the way, my husband came to Asia for 10 years and none of his family ever visited him, not even for our wedding.
We visited for 20 days, but got covid and were sick for about 10 days, not continuously. Perhaps it was because we were unwell? Last year, my husband's sister and her family didn’t visit us.
This year, we visited for 20 days again. Mainly because we want to see my sister-in-law and her son.

Normally, my sister-in-law, her boyfriend, and their 2-year-old son live with my mother-in-law, where there are many children's toys. Due to space constraints, when we went to Europe, my sister-in-law stayed at their second home.

One day, my mother-in-law mentioned that my sister-in-law's boyfriend's grandmother passed away, and they needed to attend the funeral. I suggested bringing my sister-in-law's son over so he could play with my kids, and we could finally see him and look after him. However, my mother-in-law flatly refused, she didn't want him to feel unhappy or jealous or experience negative emotions, so she couldn't let him <go home>. Instead she left us and went to take care of him in their home for half day.

A few days before we returned to Asia, we visited my mother-in-law's stepdaughter's home, where my sister-in-law also brought her son. It was the first meeting of all my mother-in-law's grandchildren. This was the only time in 40 days across last year and this year that we met my sister-in-law and her family.

(To be continued…)

My mother-in-law completely ignored my children in the unfamiliar environment, choosing to hold her stepdaughter's one-year-old daughter instead.

When the kids played together, my son who is under 2 years old, feeling jealous (wanting my mother-in-law), lightly pushed my sister-in-law's son. My mother-in-law sternly scolded my son, saying it was not allowed. I understand pushing is wrong, I will always educate my kids immediately everytime they did it.
Perhaps because of being scolded, my son became more rebellious, and he pushed the boy again (without causing any harm). This time, my sister-in-law glared fiercely at my son and scolded him harshly, saying "STOP, this is the second time!"
To be clear, I never think pushing is good, and I agree that my son isn’t behaving well.
But I read that 『Pushing is a natural behaviour for toddlers as they learn about their surroundings and assert their independence.』

My son was frightened and cried, as was I. My husband explained to my mother-in-law that our son was just jealous. Surprisingly, my mother-in-law, holding her stepdaughter's daughter, coldly remarked that my son deserved this treatment (being scolded), she looked at my son as if he were a criminal.

Previously, she was concerned about my sister-in-law's son feeling jealous, which is why she didn't want him around my kids. Why then did she ignore my son's jealousy?
By the way, my sister-in-law stayed for only one hour and left without saying bye to me.

(To be continued…)