just venting and shi (advice would be nice in some cases)

[opal spruce]

anyways

so lately ive been feeling really depressed and ive just started to hate myself, idk what to do in some cases and thats why im also asking for advice

so:

Tw ||suicidal thoughts, sh, suicide attempts||

So for the last few weeks, i have felt depressed sad and ||self destructive|| i have caused to this i want to vent abt in dms so dm me if you want to, im also really sad about a girl.. friend (not gf) ||trying to commit suicide|| and i feel bad for her, everything has became really bad, my life has actually gotten worse, i hate myself, i dont want to be myself, i want to get better but its impossible, please ask for more stuff if you want to

[dire folio]

Brother Life is short, enjoy your life as much as possible ,death will definitely reach u someway but happiness something that u won’t get randomly, Be positive and some small reasons are enough to make u happy and get relief from stress. Try to live independent as much as possible in this Greedy world.

[opal spruce]

iml you are right but its hard and im really stubborn...

also i have tried many things yet nothing gives me joy

[foggy raptor]

Suicidal Thoughts:
This thought helped me dealing with it: "I had this thought at my lowest point, and the fact that I keep having this thought proves that the thought has no practical power, I'm just not someone who kills himself, I'm apparently incapable of killing myself, almost as if these suicidal thoughts are meant to stop me from actually killing myself. I could also have killed myself earlier."

“Among the things that can drive a person to despair is the realization that the illogical is necessary for him, and that much good comes from the illogical.”

“Even the most rational person needs, from time to time his nature again, which means his illogical core believe towards all things.”

For a sad person, happiness must be craziness, go crazy.

On Deep Sadness:
Friends with whom you frequently share some enjoyment, a sense of achievement, and therapeutic conversations can only help you through these difficult times. I have experienced complete anhedonia twice in my life, and 'happiness' has never arrived as something expected. Instead for me at least, with enough trying stuff out and chaos, with enough perspective shifts and the the necessary craziness that comes with changing your core values, your previous life, that has for sure not died and just hidden will eventually become part of who you are again; the excessive amount of bad-history has in a sense attacked the vivid power of your subconsciousness, it no longer knows how to make use of the past like a powerful nourishment, instead you feel lifelong chains that keep your your previous life in prison. There is something you could call “the unhistorical”, the ability to forget and to enclose oneself in a limited horizon, every day before getting up and going to bed I do 3-5 minutes of guided mediation and sometimes warm showers with conscious breathing against my overthinking and feeling of being tied down, has helped me a lot to formulate clearer thoughts and perspectives; by temporarily closing the doors and windows of consciousness, from the noise and struggle with which our underworld of servant organs work for and against each other; a little silence, a little tabula rasa of consciousness, so that there is room again for something new, because he who cannot settle down on the verge of the moment, forgetting all the past, without dizziness and fear, will never know what happiness is. In my experience, it was usually the case that my therapist motivated me to deal critically with my feelings more often during the day, I went out with friends a bit more often, I had a sudden burst of happiness, and then everything was getting better again.