vapid wedge
i have a dream and i should work hard work it. i want to work hard for it and i know i am trying because i used spend my whole time playing video games or watching movies and shows but now after 30 minutes i am like "oh no we should work harder for our dreams and watch this movie later." i want to think that this means i want my dream and when i say i will do anything for it this is the proof but nothing goes as planned.
for example for my dream i should study this course but i never do. i think it's not because i am lazy because i really really want to study but something happens each time! i can't study in my room because it makes me sleep so i go to the living room, then everyone suddenly comes to our house, i go to my grandma room then it's all loud with the tv on then i put headphones because i think "if you really want to study you will do it with headphones" but then i either get a headache or headphones really mess with me!
am i making excuses or is this valid? i mean i don't give up ever! i get up everyday write a new schudle with things i should do on a paper but it doesn't happen! i feel like i am never taking my life and dreams seriously and i think "well if you think like that it has to be true." but then i do these behaviour that i don't stop or i give myself motivation and lift myself up then i think "well.. maybe i am not lazy and i should fix the environment?" i am scared because i am starting to hate myself and i don't want that... but why it feels like i don't do anything for my dreams?
patent current
rancid bolt