#i don't know how to pull myself together.

4 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

neon trout
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my family keeps getting everything easy because of my situation. i have my leg amputated and i get lot of benefits like money and loan. everytime my family takes the money for themselves and later says something like "we did it for you." i can't drive a car, idk how the car is for me. but yk what? i am not a horrible person so i will say "at least it helps you so it's okay."

but i can't take it anymore... they take my situation to help them out of everything but none of them ever helps me. i have no money, no one cares abt my future and etc. but yk what? whatever! i will work for myself but... today again my brother won smt that makes me want to cry and run away.

he signed up for uni but he's professor is my aunt. so not only he gets a car to start uni, not only he gets all 20's without any effort, not only he gets pocket money, not only he gets a good social life but he also gets the life i want!

i should work hard to get a scholarship and i don't even have the leg to be able to work (they took my advantages and my money) it's fine but i am exhausted... i don't know how to make myself feel better... i want to feel better and get up and study... i guess it doesn't matter let him take the easy road but i feel bad abt me because i promised if i get a scholarship and move away i won't ever call or help them. i am not jealous, i am just very exhausted because i am really really trying and i feel they're pulling me apart.

fallen shore
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I am just going to keep it straight with you, I was also in the hospital for 2 years with a bad leg and lost everything due to it.

Screw them, leave them as fast as possible, work your ass off for a scholarship, and jobs? There are still ways to make money from a wheelchair, and use your benefits, if they try to take it, tell them to take it to a judge and if they take it from you without permission, sue their asses.

Now for a job, use your brains, start doing game development, web design or anything behind a PC, and if you want to work with your hands, guess what? You can, Welders don't have to walk for their job, I was a production welder for a year when I was in a Wheelchair, you can do anything you want.

Believe in yourself.

neon trout
fallen shore