#Am I Ok?

15 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

orchid kayak
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I run Cross Country, and a few days ago i slipped and got bruised bad. I loved the pain, and i want more. It feels like pain is kinda the only way to keep me from killing myslef. Ive been also wanting to do drugs or smoke. My mind is out of control, and Ive been sacrificing sleep to try and talk here, on Discord the last few weeks. Am I Ok?

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I have also been hearing voices of friends and family. During school, i heard a friends saying my name, and i said "What do you want, [ Insert name here ]?" They told me that they never said my name. I got scared and its been worrying me that i might be going insane.

mint rover
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You're fine that just happens sometimes

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About drugs and smoking please don't ever start

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Hearing someone call your name just happens sometimes

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Now for me personally

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Loving pain was just a way to make sure I still felt something

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Now I didn't love physical pain but more mental madness

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Feels weird to say but it's true

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Don't really know what happened or what I did

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But having some kind of strong emotion was to make sure I could steel feel

toxic pivot
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It is possible that you like physical pain as it makes you feel something. As long as you are not actually in danger and you don't damage your health, you can use it to do sport and improve your performance, it is a healthy way to endure physical pain...

@mint rover is right, really you should not start to smoke or take drugs. Really. It will make everything worse after.

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And yes too auditive hallucinations can happen... It's uncomfortable but not a problem itself, I just hope for you it is not invading

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I hope you will get better soon 🫂

mint rover
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I'm horrid at comforting but yeah its normal, sometimes you just feel numb and need to feel something, even if it's a negative feeling, but smoking and taking drugs is never the awnser, but in the situation that you do start taking drugs and smoking remember that you can get support everywhere, it's hard to say no sometimes, I started smoking 2 years ago and shortly after started smoking weed, I got off weed but smoking cigarettes or vaping is like a parasite it doesn't let go, never start smoking and in the event that you do stop as early as possible, you might feel as if your not addicted but then you stop for a bit and it hits you like a truck, even now while writing this I want to smoke although I've stopped for a while now, it never leaves you