magdalena

[gilded tinsel]

Restarting, again. I didn't like how un-organized it was, and I guess I think I could do better.
__tw's __ : || self harm, suicide. ||
** 003**
advice and comfort is welcome.

08/02/24

i'm excited to go to school tomorrow, i can't wait to see my friends. Julian especially, his voice cracks are funny, and he's really nice to me. and, gym is kinda fun. Doing pushups and situps are fine with me. I made a friend online today, i really appreciate her for matching my energy. it's really hot in my room, my fan isn't the best. being too hot makes me frustrated, anyways, since i'm bored, i'm gonna make an about me on here.

[raw robin]

whatever tickles your pickle

[gilded tinsel]

NO

dont tickle my pickle..

😇

or hegg.. if you must..

[raw robin]

What's hegg

[gilded tinsel]

my laugh! do you like it..!

eeeeheeeeeeee!

[raw robin]

you have quite alot of time at hand

[gilded tinsel]

yeah 😞

[raw robin]

it's a shame you can't spend all of it in happiness

[gilded tinsel]

oh wow your right 😔

dont expose me

[raw robin]

happiness isn't real

[gilded tinsel]

why not

[raw robin]

well that's a given

[gilded tinsel]

anyways

[raw robin]

it's just chemicals and whatever, and some people are above that I guess

it's like we can see the prison around us

[gilded tinsel]

im in prision

[raw robin]

Whislt other people can't

[gilded tinsel]

about me

i'm 14. My name is magdalena, and i'm pansexual. I'm a female, my pronouns are she/it/they, i'm japanese/american. i'm emo and i really like music, drawing, talking to people, sleeping & eating, drinking aswell. i'm usually on discord and youtube because i hate my life, feel free to disturb me. unless i have dni in the status. i'm usually hyper, unless i'm upset which is often but i don't usually vent unless its in here, yeah :3

[gilded tinsel]

i'm genuinely excited for school. i don't feel good though. my stomach hurts and i feel like something bad is going to happen to me.

[gilded tinsel]

yeah, i gave up. i'm gonna try to go to sleep. 08/02/24 was an okay day, besides the panic attacks, i was fine.

[gilded tinsel]

08/03/24

Honestly, right now is fine. Some person told me they liked me, which is fine. i just said thank you.. i didn't know what to say. anyways, i'm really hungry.. d,gfgkgh. i'm gonna eat

[gilded tinsel]

i had another panic attack. its so annoying and embarrassing.

[gilded tinsel]

i hate myself, so, so so much. i'm so pathetic and annoying. my mom was making fun of me generally, and i started crying. i'm so sensitive, its so embarrassing.

08/03/24 i hated today.

[gilded tinsel]

08/04/24,

i almost forgot to post, not htat it matters though. i made another friend, yayh!! erm, i don't know what else to put

SHIT

alright

[raw robin]

Today is 04

not 3rd

[gilded tinsel]

o.

😞

08/04/24, it was pwetty fweakin epic

[gilded tinsel]

OMG

ITS THE 9

MONTH

KILL ME

SHOOT ME

DIE

[gilded tinsel]

i'm so tired of getting screamed at, its the only reason im here, im tired of people calling me lazy. nobody ever wants to talk to me.

09/05/24 i hate my life

[sage crater]

WHERE IS MY JOURNAL LOG, I was so excited

[gilded tinsel]

WJAT

[sage crater]

If something happens to you who’s gonna write for me to read

[gilded tinsel]

😞

uhuhhghh my friends

[sage crater]

I feel like your friend Everytime I read your journal

[gilded tinsel]

🥹

[sage crater]

But I stay quite because I don’t wanna disturb your writing

[gilded tinsel]

DONT STAY QUIETT

IM GOING INSANE BECAUSE PEOPLE DONT WANT TO TALK TOM E

[sage crater]

That is cap.

[gilded tinsel]

nuh huh

[sage crater]

If people won’t talk to you IRL, then someone.. somewhere, does (aka me ) but I’m prolly 14,000 km away from you but think of me as the journal, and I’m writing back to you

So keep writing!!

[gilded tinsel]

TAJNK YOU

AHAHHAHAHAHAAH

CAN I ADD YOU?? IS THAT OKAY??

[sage crater]

Yessss

[gilded tinsel]

AJAJRHRHR YAYAY

[gilded tinsel]

09/05/24,

today was so weird. my taekwondo instructor roundkicked me in my face 🥹 but i learned beethovens lullaby on my viola n' erm.. dreidel, and jingle bells, and impulse. the guy, keeps telling everyone he likes me. its kinda annoying. i'm just ready for school to end, honestly. its fine, but kinda annoying.. yeah <3

MY ACNES GETTING BETTER AHDFJHKFJ

i look SO HOT

[gilded tinsel]

cant sleep :3

[gilded tinsel]

09/06/24,

i'm so upset, and i kinda wanna cry. i want to be pretty so bad

WAUT

IM SO PRETTY RN

HELP ME

[raw robin]

American dates

[gilded tinsel]

frustrated and depressed

[gilded tinsel]

i can't stop chewing my nails

[gilded tinsel]

sobbing

i might g o to bed

nobody talked to me today

[raw robin]

easy fix

[gilded tinsel]

nuh uh

[gilded tinsel]

frustrated and annoyed

[raw robin]

easy fix

[gilded tinsel]

No

[raw robin]

why

[gilded tinsel]

i mean, idk

[gilded tinsel]

i hate my life

lmaoaoa

[gilded tinsel]

crying again, like always

[raw robin]

missing the daily dose

[gilded tinsel]

sorry, erm

09/09/24.

i hate some bits of today, this person wont stop talking to me. i want to be nice, but its getting annoying. so. annoying. but i made jounrals n shit, tahts fun. school was fine. i just walked at gym lmao, no way im playing dodgeball

[gilded tinsel]

im os sleepy

[raw robin]

sleep

[gilded tinsel]

iM OMG

im so good a viola i love orchestra sm

[gilded tinsel]

09/10/24,

Honestly, ughgikdhfgh . i have to straighten my hair tdy, get an outfit for tmr, shower rn, AND DO HOEMWORK. ughdkfkjhd

i mis sthem

[gilded tinsel]

i just stragitne my hair lemme see if i can show oyu

HOW DO I TEAKE A POHOT

yay

i lookw eird iwh

normal hair

[gilded tinsel]

SCHOOL WAS AHHHHEHHH

peyeeeeew 4 the kids in my shcool

[raw robin]

your so pretty

[gilded tinsel]

thank you, originalguy098 😭

09/11/24.

Hated today, my mom is always finding thigns to make fun of me for. im so fat, well, in my eyes i am. i know im not thoguh. im going to bed. its the only thing that makes me happy

[gilded tinsel]

m cooked

[gilded tinsel]

always getting yelled at

i hate taekwondo

[gilded tinsel]

relapsed

[raw robin]

Itl all pass eventually

i believe in you ❤️

[gilded tinsel]

STOP BEIGN OS NIE.c

[gilded tinsel]

i cant stop cutting it feels so good

RAWRLKE<HJFSKFHKLFHSAJEH<JHSR

[raw robin]

it's so weird

how what you feel is probably just like taking drugs

it probably feels soo goood and then when your done the coming down prb hurts you sm

[gilded tinsel]

kinda sad right now, i'm good though. 1 day clean

[halcyon sparrow]

same

[gilded tinsel]

i'm proud of you for being clean, and if you need to talk about it im here

[halcyon sparrow]

yeah, same to you, dont need to talk abt anything rn tho

[gilded tinsel]

alright, me either. thank you so much

[halcyon sparrow]

yeah its okay, love helping others if its possible :D

[gilded tinsel]

hate my life

[halcyon sparrow]

Dam

Wanna explain why?

[gilded tinsel]

nah

[halcyon sparrow]

alr

[gilded tinsel]

thank you though, i appreciate you for

being there for me

[halcyon sparrow]

yeah

like i said

i wanna help people

:)

[gilded tinsel]

my mom and I just fought. it ended in me running , slamming my door andd im currently having a panic attakc. i just dont get why my life is the way it is, im not a brat, i know im not. but deep down, its like, ' what if i am???. is my life actually that bad?? i dont know,

[raw robin]

your life is normal

These things happen

people misunderstand each other

and our egotistical nature makes it worse

[gilded tinsel]

Shut up

[raw robin]

Fine 🌹

[gilded tinsel]

<3.

[gilded tinsel]

i wish i didnt care

[vestal verge]

Are u ok?

[gilded tinsel]

yeah! im alright. i actually have a boyfriend now :3

[vestal verge]

Oh how is he as a boyfriend

[gilded tinsel]

great

[raw robin]

until the cycle repeats