Conversations & Socially Awkward??

[ornate cedar]

to begin, essentially my problem is socializing and having conversations. id like to say i can have deep conversations, however when it comes to casual conversations i feel i don't have anything i can say to start off a conversation. even at times i struggle to add more than just "ah yes... that's cool... sweet!..." anything long those lines... theres times i question more if i don't know or if I'm interested, i ask like "oh how does that work, when did that come out, why do you use that?..."

*just to be clear and honest: this primarily sparked from one of my greatest friends who is someone i have major interest in (romantically) so if that makes a difference or more clear, though this is still applied generally...

so i really can have fun conversations with friends, enjoy hangouts with them, and for the certain someone- still have some time where we can be honest to each other. which is great because, it allows us to feel closer and more trusted- although my main issue references a different kind of closeness- (if that makes sense)

i notice that all my friends or everyone around me usually is the one who starts the conversation, such as by saying something out of context or funny, or poses a question (it goes on), although im rarely one to start those kinds of conversations. not that it has to be serious- but like the fun, friend conversations where you can say about anything and want to talk to them more just about anything. like i purely struggle to just say things on my mind and there are many points where i just am not thinking of anything or i feel its "pointless, and nonsense" to say those things.

in a friendship or any general relationship with anyone- i understand theres vulnerability and saying whatever comes to mind and just overall having a good time- although ive done better than i have like few months back- I'm still behind that wall of- "got nothing to say, its pointless" and cant even think of just random questions to ask (aka as of recently: whos a fictional character you'd smash first? etc etc)

id just want to ask for advice, ask for even just other people's experiences in which i can compare and contrast and look to see if there's something im "missing."

and to also add on- when i hear like talk about passion or interests- i feel i really don't have many. like if i try to think of em- i cant really think of much i feel, or at least not everyone can relate to...

thanks for reading this, if anyone can respond or addon to this it would be greatly appreciated- i would feel blessed knowing someone read this and or responded.

please feel free to ask me questions or even DM me about it.