tw ||mention of suicide and domestic abuse if that counts as tw||
#i dont know what to do with my mother (rant and also need help please)
rain flame
i genuinely think my mother has a mental illness. for as long as i can remember, she not only has anger issues, she takes it out on the family often physically. She seems bipolar, switching from a perfectly content mood to screaming in seconds. shes incredibly hypocritical, scolding my dad for dragging out a point then revisiting and "supporting" her scolding several times long after shes clearly made her point and my dad understands. she ransacks rooms when theyre not clean, throwing everything on the floor and telling us to clean it up in 30 minutes or expect to die (she says this). she hits my dad and i, often pretty hard, when shes angry for whatever reason. and she keeps excusing her flying off the handle at any inconvenience due to her "stress of incompetent business partners" which they are, but she's the one who befriended them and convinced them to do business with her. all of this has built up for years and its been taking a heavy toll on my parents marriage from my perspective. ive never seen my mother initiate intimacy to my father ever. she claims she has it so much harder than my father even when they sleep at the same time and my father wakes up at 7 for his 9-5. my mother has the entire day to go around to people and making calls, having meetings, and generally do a lot of the business. however, she expects my father to do the same amount of the business while also dealing with his 9-5 (1 hour commute each way so basically an 8-6), hes always the one driving when they go out of state to meet business partners and often drives through the night while my mother sleeps in the passenger seat, and he always seems to have so much more on his plate.
theres a lot more things about her mistreating my dad but i dont want it to get too long, so ill get to the point. my mother crossed the line today when she mocked him in front of the family. she talked about how she should "get a 9-5 so she has an excuse to work less on the business" and my father cried, which is the first time ive seen him cry in my life. i want to lash out and scream at her that she doesnt have it hard and that i hate how she treats my dad but i know id probably get kicked out of the house forever. i know that even if i just bring it up to her calmly she'll keep making excuses and excuses and get mad at me for trying to defend my dad. i cant see their marriage working but they wont divorce because of their religion. i dont want my dad to suffer like this more and more every day but i just dont know what i can do to make my mother stop pushing him. im worried my dad is gonna have enough of it someday and kill himself. is there anything i can do here? tldr: my mother is mistreating my father a lot and im worried hes gonna kill himself and i dont know what to do