#I feel like a weirdo and socially a failure

61 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sly schooner
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Uh so basically I've felt different my whole life. I always had trouble making friends, I sometimes got mentioned that I speak like a robot because of the words I say or whatever. I reached a point where I felt more comfortable at home, alone, in my pc. It wasnt that I was scared of the world, it was just my comfort zone. Unfortunately that decission of staying @ home made my parents decide for me to be hospitalized (fucking unfairly), in which place I had a traumatic experience. What could I possibly have that makes me weird???

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it really goes beyond that but its just a summary

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I didn't, but I could've whenever I wanted, I did some times in fact

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It is really a long story but I'll explain

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I had a diagnose of depression before

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Which I believe was a bad diagnosis

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Since I felt better months later

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And wasnt feeling depressed while being home

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I just wanted to be on my comfort zone

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So yeah my therapist and parents decided to fucking hospitalize me in a place which turned out to be a fucking drug rehab

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I managed to escape from that place

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Since heres the thing

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The staff diagnosed me there as bipolar within 10 minutes???

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Which I am not

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And I had bipolar meds

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which led me to an episode

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which I went crazy on the inside

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and decided to escape

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And that escape led for me to be in a worse place

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But that is not really the point

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I just want to know

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Why am I so different from the rest of people

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I tried my best going into parties which I hated

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I did everything just to "fit" in

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Which I regret because I didnt enjoy one bit

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specially parties

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they made me so anxious

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Because of my decission I am now homeschooled

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Only parent I can "count" on is my dad

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I am 16

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Me not wanting to see anybody

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what does wacko mean

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my mother used to be abusive

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yes

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I live with my dad

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Yes I know

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Because of how I socially behave

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For example

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I have really hard time trying to understand jokes, sarcasm, and/or take things seriously when they are probably not

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What is weird is that

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Those things do not apply most of the time

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I dont have fully robotic speech

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While my voice can sometimes be monotone, my words are the most robotic

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I cant really explain

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The use of words

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Well let me explain

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I live in argentina, and most citizens use slang

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I can sometimes use words that are actually spanish, from spain. Words that are not used in my country usually

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But yes you could say they can sometimes sound formal

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Sometimes

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Not a clue

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Yes, people find it weird. They sometimes mock me for the use of certain words I use

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Did you like grow up exposed to Spanish (from Spain) television/media or something like that
Nope

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Sometimes its mocking, sometimes it is making weird faces (from their end)

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To be honest I know some people that have autism spectrum and I always somehow related to them

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Im not saying I have it

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Its not that I liked it

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I tried forcing myself into it

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idrk

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I appreciate you taking your time

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Thank you so much