Saturday 27th April 2024: The start
#Journal ends when I'm free from depression and have the life I dream about.
upbeat jasper
The days,routines and tears happen the same everyday. I feel like i live in a loop of sadness frustration and trauma
I act all cheerful at school but really I'm just depressed. I always wanted to be her, smart,positive, happy, popular, care-free, beautiful and loved but in the end im still the usual me. in the morning i cant get out of bed, i just seem to doze off then being late to school over and over again. I wish i could just hug myself and tell myself how much i care for her but thats never going to become true is it?
Life with anxiety randomly feeling like your drowning in your life. When i try to sleep i cant stop thinking of how everything went so wrong so quick. when im with my mum she always wants me to open up but i know she would tell my whole entire family plus i act clueless when people speak about sh I went through a phase where that was only the way if dealing with things. When i let shit slide and tolerate disrespect constantly but when i open my mouth its the end of the world
Metal health matters until its the reality. until its rotting in your bed for weeks. until its struggling to find the motivation to even shower or brush my teeth.