should men show emotion

[cinder gulch]

Just a calm little chat just tell me what you think about this topic

Hi

[tawdry crane]

yea I think so girls fall fo that shit allll tha time dawg 😂 they like a sensitive dude idk don’t trust me on that tho

[cinder gulch]

I’ve never heard of a dude, showing emotion and going well

That’s honestly just a myth to me

[tawdry crane]

Ion know dawg I’m a dude and I ain’t ever dated a girl but I hang wit them sometimes, they seem to like that shi 💀

based on what they sayin bout dudes they like

[quick bolt]

my guy friends honestly do stuff like that all the fime

and

technixally im a girl ig

a lot of girls do like guys who show emotions 😭

[cinder gulch]

They be capping cause then they be like you’re too nice or some shit like that

[quick bolt]

like if ur just cold all the time some people will like you but more people would prefer you showing emotions

[quick bolt]

not rlly

[cinder gulch]

Define being cold

[tawdry crane]

I mean dawg im bi and im all good with a dude that shows emotions n allat ion know lol

[quick bolt]

like not showing emotions LOL

[cinder gulch]

If I’m just chill what if I don’t wanna cry and bitch and stuff?

[quick bolt]

they'd for sure prefer a guy being expressive than not doing stuff like that

[quick bolt]

well gang u dont have to but showing some sorta emotion is what girls like 😭

ur not like "dark and mysterious" to girls you just look like u dont like them if ur not rlly expressive sometimes

[cinder gulch]

💀 what emotion do they want me to show is a smile not enough what do they want me to do?

[quick bolt]

i mean in retrospect if youre going to be with someone youd prefer knowing how they feel about certain things rather than them not telling you because they dont want to express it

[tawdry crane]

They wanna be able to yap to you I guess lol be able to be vulnerable round you too is my guess they want you to be able to communicate yk

[quick bolt]

this is real! 🗣️🔥

[cinder gulch]

If they want to talk about their day I’ll listen that’s not really emotion. That’s just listening.

[tawdry crane]

Oh damn I was right on tha mark

[quick bolt]

i talk way more to my guy friends if im able to talk to them about random stuff without them just being like 🧍 the whole time

[tawdry crane]

Idk they want you to be genuinely interested not js bc you want to date I think

[quick bolt]

like if they can express interest in what im talking about its nice

its also nice to know if they trust me with seeing them vulnerable cuz then theyre a fr friend 🗣️🔥

[cinder gulch]

I just listen and shake my head

Like it’s really nothing for me to get all up in arms about

[tawdry crane]

Yea dawg thas not finna cut it bro ask questions yk

[quick bolt]

right

[tawdry crane]

There a girl you wanna get wit rn?

[cinder gulch]

Nah I’m just thugging my life out rn

[tawdry crane]

Lol

[cinder gulch]

I have one problem

[tawdry crane]

Yea

[cinder gulch]

I guess

So when ever

I have a GF

Or just someone I’m talking to in general

When they start to like argue and bring up their problems

I just don’t care

I know it sounds insane

[quick bolt]

do you try to act like you do?

nah i get that nw bro

if you dont care the least you can do is act like you do

[tawdry crane]

Well then maybe you ain’t into them fr ion know bc ima be Fr I love that shit I love communicating wit them yk

[quick bolt]

and try to be respectful by listening in

cuz at the end of the day if they think they can go to you to talk about their problems they trust you

[tawdry crane]

Yea it’s a sign they trust you wit that yk

[cinder gulch]

My one ex she got mad at me one day I had saw her in school and she was cool

[quick bolt]

u dont wanna break that trust, least you can do is try to listen

[cinder gulch]

But then she text me on some BS saying I didn’t even notice how she was feeling

[tawdry crane]

sorry bro could you reword this

[cinder gulch]

💀 and I was genuinely confused

[quick bolt]

i mean she mightve been like

[tawdry crane]

Oh damn bro

[quick bolt]

upset about something

right

and you didnt ssk her if she was ok or something

like u didnt seem concerned or whateber

that is bs

😭

[cinder gulch]

💀 how was I supposed to ask her if she was OK if I didn’t even know she was mad

[quick bolt]

but i see why

[cinder gulch]

I’m not a fucking mind reader

[quick bolt]

i mean some people are expressive and she prolly wanted u to ask regardless

[tawdry crane]

Let her know you didn’t really notice and that you want her to communicate wit her yk ask her how she was feeling now that she told you

[quick bolt]

like my friend today started her period and no joke all she did was make a few facial expressions and all i hear is her bf going "you okay?"

[tawdry crane]

In that case

[cinder gulch]

💀 i’m not asking someone if they’re Ok if I see no reason to ask them that

[quick bolt]

to show you care about them gang

[cinder gulch]

You can care about them

But you don’t have to ask that every time you see them

[tawdry crane]

Girls like that dawg what can I say I know they’ve told me lol personally ion like bein asked if I’m good all the time but maybe thas cos im a dude

[cinder gulch]

If they want to say something about them feeling bad they need to say it themselves

[tawdry crane]

It’s good to check in sometimes bro a lot of people like that

[cinder gulch]

Man I’m not doing that

[quick bolt]

yea u dont

but bro it shows you care

and only do it when u can tell somethings wrof

[tawdry crane]

Yea I think your issue is that you don’t care enough dawg lol

If you were genuinely into smo you’d go outta your way for them

[cinder gulch]

💀 i’m not a mind Reader so I’m just going to assume your fine every time

[tawdry crane]

Based on what you said ion think you come off that way

[quick bolt]

u dont gotta be a mind reader

[cinder gulch]

This may sound narcissistic but when significant other, I’m in a relationship with like a GF tells me their problems I just don’t care because I feel like they are overreacting

[quick bolt]

most people express something when theyre upset

[quick bolt]

see gang u cant do that

or like

have that mindset

[tawdry crane]

Yeah bro you settin up for failure wit that one

[cinder gulch]

My one girlfriend, the one I was talking about she was mad that day because she had got into a argument with her dad, and he didn’t drop her off that day

[quick bolt]

theyre going to you bc ur their bf, they trust you, and want you to want to understand them

[quick bolt]

i mean fair

[cinder gulch]

And I’m reading it I’m just like it’s not that big of a deal for content . My dad is. A alcoholic who still argues all the time with my mom and me, so I’m like, is it really that big of a deal

[quick bolt]

but you dont compare your own problems to other peoples problems bro

[cinder gulch]

💀 nah if you don’t have a worse life than me I do not give a fuck what’s wrong with you

[quick bolt]

if you only think about it like that realistically there is for sure someone whos going through worse than you and still tries to care about other people

[quick bolt]

that mindset is not a good one bro 😭

[cinder gulch]

I’ve seen it all

[quick bolt]

like its not a trauma war

[cinder gulch]

😭 i’m like ain’t nothing to be sad for girl

[quick bolt]

are both of ur parents still alive?

[cinder gulch]

Yeah

[quick bolt]

if yes than no you have NOT seen it all

💀

[tawdry crane]

Yeah bro imma be mad honest rn you ain’t finna pull and keep anyone wit that mindset you god

*got

[cinder gulch]

My parents are alive that doesn’t mean I have a happy family.

[quick bolt]

doesnt mean u have to for that

im jus saying u havent experienced that sort of thing yet gang

theres a lot of things u still have to experience but the thing is

[cinder gulch]

I hate myself anyway nobody got to fuck with me for real

[quick bolt]

you dont go out having like

a trauma battle with people 😭

like shit if someone wants to complain about something small to me HEAD FOR IT cuz if something annoys them ill hear them out on why

sure it may not be as bad from my perspective but they went to me for it

imagine if you try telling your story to someone and they just dont listen to you the whole time, like theyre tuning you out

shit hurts

[cinder gulch]

My parents my not be dead but I still lost all my grandparents seen friends get || shot and killed in front of my eyes|| I have a heart defect I’ve seen my || dad get shot|| he’s also an alcoholic who constantly argues and fights with my family my house has been raided by the FBI like I’m more than qualified to judge

😭

[quick bolt]

gang

even if you are

im telling you now

there is literally no reason to go compare ur trauma to someone elses everyday issues

and then think thats a good reason not to care

[tawdry crane]

Yea dawg people don’t stay wit people that don’t care dawg 💀 Whaddya expecting I’m sorry that happened to you but even if you fucked up mentally that does not mean you get to belittle smo else fo sharing their problems. This is why you single homie no offence

[cinder gulch]

If they haven’t suffered like me why should I feel bad for a problem I would consider dumb

[quick bolt]

you dont have to feel bad you just have to show you care about them

even if u need to fake it

[cinder gulch]

Yeah I know

Something is wrong with me I’m fucked up in the head

[tawdry crane]

Yea dawg

[tawdry crane]

Maybe see a councillor before you try to date smo just for your own good

Or a therapist if you can dawg

[quick bolt]

honestly cuz ur gonna mess both them and urself up 😭

[cinder gulch]

💀 counselor nah gang I got to thug this shit out

[quick bolt]

then dont date anyone for a minute until you figure out whats going on

bc its not worth it for you to go hurting someone elses feelings by doing that stuff just cuz you dont want to work on yourself yk

[cinder gulch]

🥲 even a gangster want love fr

[quick bolt]

well gang

look

[tawdry crane]

This is why you ain’t improving homie you ain’t locking in at all wit that mindset thas not self improvement it’s js being stubborn

[quick bolt]

right

[quick bolt]

if you know if you date someone

youre going to hurt their feelings

youre going to end up breaking up or some shit

[tawdry crane]

Fr and when y’all break up it js finna hurt you too

[quick bolt]

or youre not going to care about it

youre just being selfish cuz yk what u need to work on

you know that youre gonna end up hurting both of yall

[cinder gulch]

Gang I’ve experience multiple things on their own would cause severe mental reactions I could take it

[quick bolt]

but could the person youre dating take it?

bro if they genuinely like you

and you just act like that

thats gonna hurt

[tawdry crane]

Dawg if you ain’t finna improve no one finna want you

[cinder gulch]

I guess it’s like I never told anyone how I was really fucked up so I guess when people tell me their problems, I don’t see it as an issue

[quick bolt]

man look

imagine youre telling someone about your problems

[tawdry crane]

Yeah dawg but imma be Fr it’s pretty selfish to b dating smo that cares more than you

[quick bolt]

and mf is just not paying any attention

theyre just looking around

nodding sometimes

not showing any genuine care

you still went to them with your problems though right?

[cinder gulch]

Yeah your right

[quick bolt]

is it not annoying to see someone hear stuff thats important to you and just completely ignore it?

im not saying you have to put your whole heart into it

[cinder gulch]

It’s not even like I don’t care about the person I do love them

[quick bolt]

but at least pretend like you care or youre listening

[quick bolt]

i get that cuz u seem genuine about this bro

[cinder gulch]

I wouldn’t even say I don’t care about the problem. I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal when it’s brought to my attention.

[tawdry crane]

Dawg even if I think summ smo feels mad abt is dumb I’m gonna help them work thru it bc I still care abt them I’d rather I be inconvenienced for a few moments than have smo I love be sad that ion care yk

[quick bolt]

right

!

[quick bolt]

i mean thats fair

[cinder gulch]

Yeah I get what you mean

[quick bolt]

you dont have to think its a big deal but you gotta act like it sometimes to help comfort them

like my friends complain to me about random stuff

whether it be math class or a random game they played

and it seems like a big deal to them so of course even i dont think its big

but if they think its a big deal i just act like it is with them

[cinder gulch]

My last gf said to me it’s like a don’t care like I’m a stone wall when she talks about her feelings

She never asked how I felt so I should just show hypersensitivity

Like I’m contemplating the worst moments of my life, get the fuck out of my face with your dumb ass problems

That’s how I be feeling

[quick bolt]

you cant be like that gang

you already seen us say that like 1000 times and ik it wont like

suddenly change your mindset to hear some rando say you cant be like that

but honestly when youre like that youre hurting their feelings more

[cinder gulch]

I think I would care much more if my GF or sum understood who I truly am

[fossil thicket]

real shit

need them to see what i thinks type shit or it js doesn’t get thru their head

[quick bolt]

thats fair

i feel like if youre gonna date someone you should explain that first

so they dont get all mad at you if youre suddenly seeming like you dont care

[cinder gulch]

Like everyday I think about the worse moments of my life and it constantly brings my mood down so when you tell me something that happens to you I already have in the back of my mind that what you’re telling me does not compare to what happened to me

[tawdry crane]

Well for her to understand yo ass in the first place you gotta be vulnerable wit them 💀

[cinder gulch]

Gang I don’t wanna be tho they wouldn’t even understand

They would probably just leave me cause I talk to much or sum

[tawdry crane]

If you never take risks you ain’t finna go no where

Take the risk bro

You said you can take a breakup so you could take that prolly

[cinder gulch]

I would rather be cold then vulnerable and regret it

[tawdry crane]

I used to think like that dawg but it got me nowhere imma be honest

[cinder gulch]

No women wanna hear what I been threw gang

They just gon find someone else

[tawdry crane]

If it be the right girl then she will

Trust homie

[cinder gulch]

They ain’t no right girl

I’m tired of hearing that shit

[tawdry crane]

There will be dawg you gotta keep yo head up and improve yourself and take the risks and you’ll find her

Yk

Trust

[cinder gulch]

Tired of hearing improving myself and this other shit

You can’t Improve this

You people don’t know how fucked up I truly am

No I don’t want therapy nothing good they can tell me

They just lie and take money

[tawdry crane]

That mindset isn’t the reason why you ain’t getting better I used to think like that too bro, trust things can and will get better if you let it

[cinder gulch]

Fuck all that

If no girls loves me fine

Nothing bad they say

That they haven’t said all ready

[fossil thicket]

nah you can always improve it’s how you do it n how you see it. it don’t look like you wanna see it the other way brodie you just wanna believe want you want it seems you got it perceive it differently and give that shit faith bro

[tawdry crane]

Real bro 👆 real wit this 1

If you keep acting like you irredeemable you gonna stay that way

You gotta have a growth mindset ik this shi sounds corny but you gotta accept that you can grow n change and shi

If you don’t improve yourself first you ain’t gonna have a happy relationship

[cinder gulch]

So what

Who cares

Fuck a GF

If I die tomorrow so be it

Don’t matter to me anyway

This life shit don’t matter

[fossil thicket]

real shit it rlly don’t in the end

that’s why you should spend your life improving and not make it to shit and wasting this shit

how you gone have a life and make nothing from it and not have hope for yourself shit is giving you a chance to see the word make that shit worth it

better to die trying then to die doing nothing

[tawdry crane]

REAL dawg listen to us better waste it at least tryna get better and improve yourself instead of wallowing in your sadness forever

[cinder gulch]

Ain’t no improving

Shit cap fr

[tawdry crane]

My ass used to think like that but it gets better, trust me dawg you gotta trust the process. Listen to happier music, go for walks, eat good food that makes you happy. Ik this shit sounds corny but when you try to get a positive outlook shit gets better

[fossil thicket]

ong money of this mental health improving shit is finna be corny but it’s the corny shit that helps and that’s what keeps us happy

can’t live without being corny in a way dawg

[tawdry crane]

Nah Fr bro dw about being corny being happy is better than being miserable ofc like try to have a little more fun. Even if bad shit happened to you and you’re fucked up dawg, that doesn’t mean you can’t have new happy experiences or have good things. You need to trust the process and you might regress a little every now and then but think back and think abt how you handled shit so much better than your past self woulda yk

[cinder gulch]

I don’t have happy experiences buddy

🤷🏽‍♂️sorry to tell you

[fossil thicket]

bro a thug he only have cold bludded experience

there’s no getting thru to this guy he believes is his own morals and you can’t change a person like that

[cinder gulch]

The same day I got my first job my friend was killed in front of me not even a hour later

[tawdry crane]

Yeah sorry dawg we can’t help you if you don’t actually want it

[cinder gulch]

The same day I got honor roll in high school my brother was arrested

It’s like a sick fucking joke

[fossil thicket]

look

shit happened like that all the time

[cinder gulch]

And

[fossil thicket]

good shit will happen then bad shit will happen next

[tawdry crane]

I’m sorry dawg that literally sucks, but that don’t mean everything you do follows that pattern. It’s not real shit happens I know but that doesn’t mean nun good is ever going to happen to you again. Thas just life

[fossil thicket]

you gotta look at it first what it is and js tell yourself maybe it ain’t so bad and it ain’t so good

[cinder gulch]

Ain’t gon lie I don’t even want to hear what you got to say next

[fossil thicket]

ik it’s death and it’s a big ass thing but

shit

it’s life bro

it’s all abt your perspective on how you see it

[cinder gulch]

Blah blah blah

You can’t understand your words are just shallow

No meaning

No fucking meaning

It ain’t no perspective to it

[fossil thicket]

alr bro 😭

life is all abt perspective

[cinder gulch]

Sure

[fossil thicket]

it’s how you see and interpret shit

bro if you can’t see and make urself understand to improve n be happy then yo ass never gone do that shit

be a bum

[tawdry crane]

Yeah sorry dawg if you can’t understand that then you ain’t ever gonna get better. Thas just the way it is. I used to think like you but imma be Fr I only got happier and better because I got up off my ass and realized that I have the power to make my own life better

[cinder gulch]

If I was sum like oh my gf broke with I’m sad then yeah maybe the advice would be helpful

But what happened to me these are permanent things that will last in my mind forever

[tawdry crane]

I used to think this positivity appreciate life shit was corny and shallow and useless but it’s not. It doesn’t have to be happy all the time but it’s not the end of the world if things go to shit yk

[cinder gulch]

It is

[fossil thicket]

can’t look at shit for being so bad some bad shit might happen but some good shit could come next n you don’t know it and it could be the same vise versa you js look at it as “im miserable regardless of what happens and what’s going to happened because of one bad moment” when you should say maybe it isn’t so bad cause this finna lead to sum bigger n better

[tawdry crane]

I know dawg me too but that don’t mean it’s over

It doesn’t mean your life can’t be happy again

[fossil thicket]

yo way of thinking is so bad brodie

[cinder gulch]

Nah I’m good thug it out

[cinder gulch]

“One” more like my whole life but go off

[fossil thicket]

bro you life a whole couple moments and your letting one ruin that shit

would that mf who dead want you to be living and to make sum with that shit ?

[cinder gulch]

You don’t understand it’s not a one moment type of thing

[cinder gulch]

These small things happen everyday

Which is made even worse by those big things

It’s no oh i’m still sad about something that happened five years ago

No these things constantly happen every single day month year

[tawdry crane]

If you keep acting like that then it’s not going to get better. It’s just how it is. Sorry homie. I can’t help you if you’re going to keep just wallowing in your sadness without also seeing the good. It’s alr to be sad someitmes but you gotta know there’s good things waiting out there you just need to pull through

[cinder gulch]

How can I “act” when these things genuinely happen and it constantly brings my mood down

[tawdry crane]

You can be sad about it it’s alr, just hold out hope yk

[cinder gulch]

💀 ain’t no “hope”

[tawdry crane]

Keep thinking about it like that and there will be no hope.

[cinder gulch]

I have to think about when I already know it’s the truth

No peace

And when their is it’s just a prelude to something even worse

[tawdry crane]

Dawg I give up I can’t help you if you don’t want it and you can’t help yourself if you don’t want it

[cinder gulch]

🤷🏽‍♂️

[tawdry crane]

Sorry dawg

[cinder gulch]

🤷🏽‍♂️ no like you understand anyway

You people don’t get it