a journal of my life

[manic jackal]

Or painted

I just painted my nails

I think both can

[lilac bone]

you call that putting a colour on?

wow

just wow

[manic jackal]

Huh🧍‍♀️

No paint

I painted my nails

[lilac bone]

"polish"

ah

i get it

💀💀

[manic jackal]

Ohh yeah I think both can

Not sure

[lilac bone]

what

no

i just understood it

[manic jackal]

Idk

[lilac bone]

hahahaha

why am I even texting I have to work

bye

[manic jackal]

Goodluck

[lilac bone]

like

[manic jackal]

Bro go to work then😭🙏

Go make sum money

[lilac bone]

i have so much to do and then I realize that I am texting about nails

ffs

[wooden oxide]

are you alr?

[manic jackal]

So real

Happens to the best of us🫡

[manic jackal]

Yeah I'm better now, but thank you!🫶🏻

[wooden oxide]

my friend always go to the lidl

[manic jackal]

Yess we also go there normally

Wait what country are you from? I realised I never asked🧍‍♀️

[wooden oxide]

great to hear!

[lilac bone]

doesn't make any difference

[wooden oxide]

england

[manic jackal]

KNEW IT

[wooden oxide]

I am bad at english though

or like writing

[manic jackal]

Okey wait I have a question then

[wooden oxide]

I have trouble writing

[wooden oxide]

ask away

[manic jackal]

What is it called if in a game a referee 'flutes'

[wooden oxide]

I am not sure but I think her family drinks off brand cola

[lilac bone]

whistle

[manic jackal]

Yk what I mean?😭🙏

[manic jackal]

Damn people didn't believe us when we said that💀🙏

[lilac bone]

i am a ref so I should know

haha

[wooden oxide]

they whistle

[manic jackal]

Yeah but for Germany so it's different

[lilac bone]

pfeifen

[manic jackal]

SEE I TOLD THEM

[manic jackal]

Oh-

Oop

[wooden oxide]

for some reason that sounds sexual

...

idk why

[lilac bone]

xddd

[manic jackal]

HELP

[lilac bone]

why?

[wooden oxide]

IM SORRY MAYBE I HAVE A DIRTY MIND

[manic jackal]

I can't even say the meaning here💀

[manic jackal]

Nah if you say that in the netherlands it mean you're like

[lilac bone]

there is legit no sexual second meaning with that word in german😂

[wooden oxide]

okay so now I am scared..

[manic jackal]

We are dww! (Omg love your user)

[wooden oxide]

Will do! sorry I just thought it sounded sexual

[manic jackal]

I know, but here it does😭

[lilac bone]

but now I wanna know

[manic jackal]

So real of you

[manic jackal]

Cant😔

[lilac bone]

dm

xd

oiiiiiii

HAHAHA

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA NAH THEY SNITCHED

[wooden oxide]

im bored

[manic jackal]

I just knew it was gonna cencor

But it was worth a try

[lilac bone]

in german it's called like if you play the flute

[manic jackal]

Will do, sorry!

[lilac bone]

i can't text that her

here

[manic jackal]

Samsies

[wooden oxide]

is it normal that my psycholist gives me homework

[lilac bone]

yes

[manic jackal]

Yep mine does to

Forgot it tho

Reminded me that I still have to do something💀

[wooden oxide]

psychologist*

I need help with my english

does anyone have this with there mother language

[manic jackal]

Same girl, had a 51% last time

[manic jackal]

Yes

I'm happy if I get 55% for dutch

[wooden oxide]

okay phew

[manic jackal]

Then I proceed to get a 80% for English?!

[wooden oxide]

isnt like dutch a weird language

[manic jackal]

Like huy

Huh

[manic jackal]

It is

[wooden oxide]

can you say something in dutch

[manic jackal]

Uhmm

Sure

What do you want me to say🧍‍♀️

[wooden oxide]

uhh say something about billie eilish 😋

[manic jackal]

Billie is mijn favoriete artiest, en dat zal ze ook voor altijd blijven, want ze helpt me erg veel

[lilac bone]

she is her favourite artist, and she helps her a lot

all I could understand

what is "zal ze ook voor"?

[wooden oxide]

bruh it looks like gibberish

[manic jackal]

Ehh I can't really just translate that

[lilac bone]

trust me, it is

[lilac bone]

okay then with the next 2 words

[manic jackal]

Billie is my favorite artist, and she will always be, because she helps me a lot

[manic jackal]

'Amd it will always stay that way' or 'and she will always be'

[lilac bone]

the person who invented that language should be in jail

[manic jackal]

I agree

Hope both the sides or their pillow is warm

[wooden oxide]

@manic jackal may be weird question

but it is about your panic attacks

if I may ask it

[manic jackal]

Go ahead

[wooden oxide]

of course if not I understand

[wooden oxide]

Don't you have anyone on school that helps you/supports you through it? because I understand not much can be done but yeah

[manic jackal]

Not really, a friend of me tries but she isn't great at it.
And the person that does know what to do is in a different class

[wooden oxide]

oh haha, it is nice to hear she atleast tries. it sucks tho

[manic jackal]

And it's difficult to explain how my friend should do it, since it's a lot of things she should and should not do tbh

[wooden oxide]

aah yes understandable

[manic jackal]

Yeah, she held my hand today, but didn't really work. I need like the words and not the touch, I hate touch in my panick attacks😭🙏

(I kinda always hate touch)

[wooden oxide]

oop yes I can understand it, maybe try telling her? idk

hard to say when I don't know how your friend is

was just curious since it sounds hard to go through alone

[manic jackal]

She would do a lot for me, but idk it feels hard to explain

[manic jackal]

It is tbh, when im at home I just take a cold shower. And at school I go to the bathrooms and sit on the cold tiles

[wooden oxide]

sounds like a nice friend:)

so may be random I love talking to you and this journal 😭

[manic jackal]

She is, but it also takes a lot in me to not lash out on her sometimes (it's her Ed talking when I do want to)

[manic jackal]

Omg today I talked with alysha about how much I love you😭

You're honestly just awesome

[wooden oxide]

NO WAIT

FR?!

[manic jackal]

YES IM SO FR

[wooden oxide]

wait isn't Alysha the girl from the blue server

[manic jackal]

Ask alysha for proof

[manic jackal]

Yess

[wooden oxide]

do you know her irl??

[manic jackal]

She's the owner

[manic jackal]

Yes girl! She's in my school

[wooden oxide]

I thought you were, I never watched the roles 😭

I saw you doing all the announcement

[wooden oxide]

that sounds hard (I also suffered with an ed so I know it can do weird stuff)

[manic jackal]

That's because I do a lot behind the scenes, and she doesn't rlly know how to do all the bots. So she's active in the server amd I'm very active behind the scenes

[manic jackal]

Yeah, I don't blame her much for stuff she does, but it takes a lot. Especially because my mental health makes me lash out easier, so I calm myself down saying 'don't it's first not worth the fight, and second. How bad is this really'

[wooden oxide]

yeah I understand, my then friends also got easily mad at me

idk it messed with your brain but tbh takes a lot from you not to get mad especially when you have it hard so tbh that rlly good of you and makes you a great friend:)

[manic jackal]

I hope so, trying my best not to loose every friend💀

[wooden oxide]

huh have you lost many friends then? couldn't imagine

[manic jackal]

Yep cut of 2 friends this year myself, and another friend cut me of like 3-4 weeks ago

But uhm yeah tbh I think that the last friend cut me off because ||she's not with us anymore|| but I can't contact her or any family so it's hard to say

(She was a really good online friend)

[wooden oxide]

Oh, sorry to hear that

[wooden oxide]

Oh my I hope she is alright

[manic jackal]

It's fine dw

[manic jackal]

Yeah hope so to, nothing I can change I guess

An old friend just texted me....

I'm scared

I haven't spoken to her since I was 10...

AWH ITS A LETTER I WROTE WHEN I WAS LIKE 9

[wooden oxide]

AWH

[manic jackal]

Okey I'm low-key tearing up💀

I can't with myself😭

[wooden oxide]

that sounds so cute

[manic jackal]

It really is

[wooden oxide]

i almost had a mental break down at school today I was so embarresed tbh I hate crying

😭

[manic jackal]

Omg so real of you though

[manic jackal]

Going with ny cat to the vet cuz he's sick🙏

[wooden oxide]

awh nooo

I hate sick animals

[manic jackal]

Same, but it's probably just a cold

[lilac bone]

@manic jackal I am in a Netto rn (mid to cheap store) and it's 1,59€ for each bottle 1,25L

idk maybe you were on a weed trip or smth

or you bought some stolen stuff, who knows

happens to the best of us

[manic jackal]

Nah, I'm not high dw😔

[manic jackal]

Nah😭🙏

[lilac bone]

I love germany

literally 0 speed limits

[manic jackal]

Fr

Going to hold my sweet 16 there🫡

[manic jackal]

AHH

OMG OMG OMG

IVE FOLLOWED THIS GIRL FOR SO LONG

AND NOW SHE REPOSTED US

[lilac bone]

crazy

[manic jackal]

Ikr, highlight of the day

[wooden oxide]

OH MY GOSH

THATS SO COOL

[manic jackal]

YES I KNOW RIGHT

||ugh stupid urges to relapse||

||can you even call it relapsing? Idk||

[wooden oxide]

pls try not to

at the end of the day it is just temporary solving

and hurting yourse;d

[manic jackal]

I know, but idk

I'm not even sure if I should tell my psychologist about this

[manic jackal]

This btw makes so much sense🎀

[wooden oxide]

I think it would help

or just tell someone trusted

to help you

[manic jackal]

Yeah but in 2 weeks I have a conversation with her and ny parents, and she will 100% tell them then

[manic jackal]

I hate talking to people about my problems tbh, that's kinda why I started this journal. To share my stuff with, idk? Randoms? (You're not a random anymore though🙏)

[wooden oxide]

understaneble from both sides, is there any way you could ask her to not do it?

[wooden oxide]

true, I love journalling just to lazy for it

[manic jackal]

Not really, she'll ask me like 'if you were a mom wouldn't you want to know?' Like yeah ofc but I don't want my mom to know

[manic jackal]

That's exactly why I do it online, I can do it when I think about it, and when people react it remind me to journal a bit again

[wooden oxide]

true true

that is smart thinking

I should journal more often

[manic jackal]

Yeah:)

[manic jackal]

You should tbh

[wooden oxide]

I should mhm you reminded me that when I joined I made one.. Wait how did I forget that.. I even talked in there a few days ago damn

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah it disappears after like 3 days?

[wooden oxide]

anyways not the problem, I hope you stay safe and not let the thoughts win<3

[wooden oxide]

it did 😭

[manic jackal]

Il try my best dw♡

[manic jackal]

Hope you find it, would love to read it:)

[wooden oxide]

i did actually

idk if others can see it

[manic jackal]

Where??

Wait can you maybe tagg me?

[wooden oxide]

in here

[manic jackal]

I'm just a girl🎀

[wooden oxide]

[manic jackal]

FR

[lilac bone]

ähm, if u asked ur psychologist not to tell them, he/she will not do it

i mean, his/her job is to build a trusted connection

idk how it really is, since you are a minor but I could have told her everything without her telling anyone

[manic jackal]

I know but they will be like 'but would you want to know as a parent?' And she will pretty much force me to tell her

Like I want to tell her, but I just don't want my parents to know, because it will just make stuff worse

[manic jackal]

just saw someone say
i just finnished my lip balm, you know what that means ||i get to die||

idk why but i laughed, probably harder then i should have had

[manic jackal]

(this was said as a joke dww)_

i love darkhumour

[wooden oxide]

Im sorry but that is so cringe.. everytime I see that I laugh for some reason

[manic jackal]

SO REAL

[wooden oxide]

I think there just exploded a bomb here what the flop

[manic jackal]

huh?! you okey?

when someone says they got to do something for halloween for a church and i kinda want to ask ''was it done respectuflly'' but i dont want to be that annoying christian

[wooden oxide]

Idk probably firework or sum

Just the teens

[manic jackal]

ohhh

[manic jackal]

real (would be me)

the way that parents genuinly seem to like me is wierd to me, but hey. im slowely getting addopted into this one family (i already made it on a family birthday)

[wooden oxide]

Alr that is sweet but creept

And a family birthday damn who were there

[manic jackal]

creept? nah ah thats the goal

thats when you bestiet a little too hard

(ive known her for 2 years thats the best part)

NOT EVEN HAHA

[wooden oxide]

GIRL HOW

[manic jackal]

like litarly whole family, grandparentes. nieces yk

the whole gang

[wooden oxide]

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO YOU MEET

[manic jackal]

I HAVE NO IDEA HAHHA

[wooden oxide]

You made it girl

Thats how you know

[manic jackal]

THE CRAZY KINDS

[manic jackal]

i know right

[wooden oxide]

You mett her whole family

[manic jackal]

her niece now follows me on insta

shes hella sweet

[wooden oxide]

Thats amazing

[manic jackal]

im also invited for next year again (my friends birthday is in april)

[manic jackal]

i know right

im going to be at the weddings and stuff if we keep going like this

[wooden oxide]

Did she already told you that

If so

You really hit the jackpot with a friend

[manic jackal]

she did😭

[manic jackal]

i know right

yk that one quote?
no matter how good you are, there is always a kid doing better then you

i just saw a 14 year old absolutely DEMOLISHING a model job

like

huh

[manic jackal]

okey im like crying rn, this girl responded to our dm (our business account) that she didnt need a shoutout and that she just thought that our idea was awesome, and she just reposted more

[manic jackal]

omg the gf of my friend was trying to give my nitro

she's so sweet

(i had to beg her to save her money😭 )

[wooden oxide]

BRUH THATS THE SWEETEST

[manic jackal]

I know right😭🙏

[wooden oxide]

Okay thats amazing

[wooden oxide]

Bruh😭

I can’t even go to school normally and they modrl and everything

[manic jackal]

I know😔

Felt stupid at that moment

[wooden oxide]

Yes

[manic jackal]

Nah for real tho

[wooden oxide]

It is 7.15 I have to go soon flop..

[manic jackal]

Awh😔

[wooden oxide]

School starts at 8am

[manic jackal]

Ew school

[wooden oxide]

Sadly

[wooden oxide]

Yes that

[manic jackal]

Mine starts half an hour later today

[wooden oxide]

So im drinking coffee to forget abt school

[wooden oxide]

Lucky

I think

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[wooden oxide]

Idk what you are going to do

[manic jackal]

I guess? I could've slept another half an hour

[manic jackal]

Some stupid sport morning

[wooden oxide]

😭😭

[manic jackal]

(Just 4 hours of sports)

[wooden oxide]

Thats hurting kidd

[manic jackal]

It feels like a death wish

[wooden oxide]

That is abuse

[manic jackal]

Fr

[wooden oxide]

I’d say sue them

[manic jackal]

Yesterday I had that running test, on mondat I gave too much in my hockeygane

So my mom told me to not go to hockey practice, and to just do calm at this spirt day thing

[manic jackal]

My therapist just called in sick sigh

[wooden oxide]

that sucks, I think you wanted to go to her?

[manic jackal]

Yeah I did, I haven't been feeling that good this week

[wooden oxide]

understable

I love going to ine

mine

[manic jackal]

Same, I was just hella nervous but I still wanted to go😔

BHAHAHAHA GUESS WHO JUST WON NITRO

I CANT

😭🙏

It's back

[lilac bone]

guys

or girls

[manic jackal]

Yes?

[lilac bone]

i am sick of it haha

i matched with a girl on tinder

[manic jackal]

Of what?

[lilac bone]

and

[manic jackal]

Oh oh

[lilac bone]

her profile was like... nothing to really talk about or start off a topic

then

I type
"hey hey"

[manic jackal]

I love how you're using my journal for this😭

[manic jackal]

Mhm

Wait no come back

Don't leave me on this clifhanger

[lilac bone]

she types "hey"

"are you really 18 or 16/17? i have that so often, it´s crazy"

"i am 18"

"okok good"

"yes"

"do you often go to the club?"

"not anymore"

"alright"

thats everything

[manic jackal]

💀🙏

Most award conversation ever

[lilac bone]

like she typed 5 words and 1 number in a total of 4 messages

literally

[manic jackal]

Damn

[lilac bone]

w/e

[manic jackal]

What?

[lilac bone]

this story is now part of your life forever

[lilac bone]

w/e = "whatever"

[manic jackal]

Yeah I guess it is

[lilac bone]

and I just got 4 mails with work to do, nice

see ya later

[manic jackal]

See ya

[lilac bone]

got her insta

not a single pic without snapchat filter

naaaah

thats fked up

[manic jackal]

That's woerd tbh

Wierd

Not sure which one I want to save up for next:)

[lilac bone]

"Winkelwagen" 💀 💀 💀 💀

[lilac bone]

this one looks the best

the blue one

[manic jackal]

Blue vinyl or blue cover?

[lilac bone]

the one for 60,14

[manic jackal]

(I own then all exept the yellow one, but the rest is:singed or a limited edition I don't have)

[manic jackal]

Ohh yeah, it's with billie's signature.🤍

Wrong emjo

Jesus

Emoji

🙏

[lilac bone]

i was just asking myself haha

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[lilac bone]

well, buy it

[manic jackal]

Not now

I have to save for the tour

[lilac bone]

pathetic

real billie eilish fans don´t have to save up

they just simply have everything

[manic jackal]

Nah ah, I need atleast 300 euros for the tour

[lilac bone]

wtf

[manic jackal]

Are you giving me money then?

[lilac bone]

hell nah 💀

[manic jackal]

I need a poster, a zipup hoodie and a blohsh necklace😔

[manic jackal]

Exactly😔

[lilac bone]

i am very sure, if u go to some corners of the ser

server

you will find a dude

who will send u money

[manic jackal]

Yeah but they want to see stuff then😔

I just want free money

[lilac bone]

nah

they want attention

thats everything

[manic jackal]

If I was 18 I couldve just sold some feet pics

😔

[lilac bone]

wtf

[manic jackal]

Doubt that it's real

[lilac bone]

you would really do that??

[manic jackal]

Honestly yes, it's just feet😭🙏

[lilac bone]

damn

[manic jackal]

Money is money🤷‍♀️

[lilac bone]

if I had a gf and she would do that, idk if i could continue the relationshi

o

p

[manic jackal]

Well good that I'm not in a relation🙏

Besides I would make some bank

[lilac bone]

ye i am just saying that its weird

[manic jackal]

So why not

[manic jackal]

Tbh it KS, and I don't get the people that buy it

But 150 for a pic?!

Hit me up

[lilac bone]

its just feet but you know what the dudes will do with them

[lilac bone]

idk if u get that much since everyone is on OF nowadays and already selling feet pics

its a booming business atm

[manic jackal]

We will see🫡

(I will probably never do it dw)

[lilac bone]

idc tbh, do it if u want to

haha

[manic jackal]

Imagine I did

[lilac bone]

lets be real

you could do that rn

who checks ur age

i am not saying do it

[manic jackal]

Yeah but like, I legally cant😔

[lilac bone]

just that ppl would propably still buy if they knew you were 12 or smth

[manic jackal]

That's so wierd tbh

[lilac bone]

i know

[manic jackal]

Omg someone just told me they act as a fem boy on dc and they get free nitro💀🙏

[lilac bone]

i would never want to meet these ppl on the street. i would propably go to jail

[manic jackal]

That's so real of you

[lilac bone]

"free nitro"💀 , you basically just need a feminine face to get that gifted hahahaha

your profile pic is propably even enough

[manic jackal]

Oop

I'm not fem tho😔

The older guys don't like that

[lilac bone]

wait

[manic jackal]

Alr

[lilac bone]

i clicked on ur link, there is ur face visiable a bit, you look like a men tbh

just joking

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

[lilac bone]

feminine enough propably

[manic jackal]

That's crazy😔

[lilac bone]

CHILL I WAS JOK)ING

[manic jackal]

Probs not😔

[lilac bone]

so

work ends in 1 hour

homeoffice

and I have nothing to do

[manic jackal]

Slaying

[lilac bone]

i have like 10€ left for this month to survive

any ideas on what to eat?

[manic jackal]

Listing to 'I did something bad' reputation tour version

[manic jackal]

Noodles

[lilac bone]

ramen, ye

good idea

i think I will add some eggs

and maybe

are you vegetarian or vegan?

[wooden oxide]

i dislike ramen

[manic jackal]

gasp

[wooden oxide]

but at the same time sort of like it

[lilac bone]

naaaaaah wtf

[wooden oxide]

😞

[manic jackal]

Nope

[wooden oxide]

i'm vegetarian!

[lilac bone]

good, i wanted to say i will add some bacon dices as well

[lilac bone]

oops, sorry

[wooden oxide]

oo sounds yum!

[lilac bone]

dont want to trigger anyone

[lilac bone]

wait what

[wooden oxide]

I like the taste of meat

just find it sad for the animals

[manic jackal]

So real pf you

[wooden oxide]

so I replace it with vegan stuff

like vegan bacon

tastes like bacon just no animal

[manic jackal]

Going to sign a pledge with support and eat, to go vegetarian for like a month or so:)

[lilac bone]

ye its because of the animals and not the taste, i know. but most vegetarians won´t glorify it yk?

[manic jackal]

You should

[lilac bone]

so I was just a bit confused

[wooden oxide]

true I see a lot of weird vegetarians and vegans out there

[lilac bone]

but its all fine

[manic jackal]

Wdym?

[wooden oxide]

ooo!

[lilac bone]

when she (or he, idk) said "yummi" to my bacon dices

[manic jackal]

Yess, exited but also sad cuz I love meat😭🙏

[manic jackal]

Ohh

[wooden oxide]

understable! for me it helped in the beginning to get people to do it with you

as motivation

I also started with a few weeks vegan

for uh

fasting month

as christians

[lilac bone]

my ex was vegan

i kinda admired her strenght to do it

but it was reallyyyyy hard

like I tried it and I was like "wait I cant even have milk in my coffee anymore"

[wooden oxide]

vegan is a lot harder

[lilac bone]

and these other milk variants were not really delicious

[wooden oxide]

true

some are disgusting

[lilac bone]

I had to add a ton of sugar to drink my coffee

[manic jackal]

Oehh good idea

[wooden oxide]

^^

[manic jackal]

'Vigilante shit' remind me of the gay panick I had at the eras tour😭🙏

I died😔

[wooden oxide]

BAHAH FROM TAYLOR

[manic jackal]

Yess, I want to sign that pledge at billie concert:)

[manic jackal]

YES OMG

[wooden oxide]

oo coooll

[manic jackal]

Wanted to send the video I got but you can hear me sing💀

[wooden oxide]

OO SEND

I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE (only if you want to)

[manic jackal]

It's too big😔

[lilac bone]

does my monitor break if I hear that?

[manic jackal]

Wait il crop it for ya

[manic jackal]

Noo it's not that bad

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/569929113393954857/1293349407340761138/GMP_Q29tcHJlc3NHSDAx_3.gif

[wooden oxide]

OH MY BILLIE

I WANT THAT VOGUE SO BAD

WHEN IS IT IN THE SHOPS

[manic jackal]

OMG RIVER

HEY GIRL

Sophie!

[manic jackal]

This November!

[manic jackal]

HOW ARE YOUU

Omg wait girl I need to ask you a question

I'm amazing even though its 1am right now

You're going to billie right?

Yes fire away

[manic jackal]

Omg

[manic jackal]

SURE AM twice

[manic jackal]

Okey wait I need to get something that you might find amazing

If it's billie related I will find it amazing garaunteed

[manic jackal]

I'd love to ask you for this, if you want ofcc

We're trying to get as many people from around the world to do this:)

[wooden oxide]

looks rlly cool!

[manic jackal]

Thank you!♡

[lilac bone]

does someone have 600€ for me?

[manic jackal]

No? But if someone does hit me up cuz I also need some money

[lilac bone]

i need it for a skin in csgo

:(

[manic jackal]

A what

[lilac bone]

i am pretty sure my need is more important

[manic jackal]

Nah ah

[lilac bone]

ah true i cant send pics herew

[manic jackal]

L

[lilac bone]

like, can you maybe give me the permission to do so or smth? @manic jackal

[manic jackal]

I can't

[lilac bone]

fk u

[manic jackal]

Imma report you for sneaking through the filter

[lilac bone]

🥲

[manic jackal]

Saw this and freaked out

THE SAUCE IS TOUCHING THW OTHER SAUCE

AND THE CHICK NUGGET IS TOUCHING THE SAUCE

(I don't even have autism)

[lilac bone]

what is wrong with you

[manic jackal]

That's also what my parents asked me

Omg yk what's worse tho, a big spoon for dinner

[lilac bone]

?

[manic jackal]

The big spoons are only for cereal😔

[lilac bone]

huh

are u serious

rn

[manic jackal]

The middle ones are for dinner

[manic jackal]

YES

Wait

Let me search it up

[lilac bone]

what is a "middle one"????????????????????

[wooden oxide]

girl what

[lilac bone]

wtf

[wooden oxide]

dinner with a spoon

[manic jackal]

Dinner etc

Cereal

[wooden oxide]

i also ways eat with a teaspoon

doesnt matter what

[manic jackal]

Coffee or tea

[wooden oxide]

I mentally can't handle a big spoon

[manic jackal]

So real, it feels wrong to grab the big spoon😔

[wooden oxide]

true

you get me

[manic jackal]

Oh wait this is a tea spoon

[wooden oxide]

also new pfp 😋

[manic jackal]

It's this spoon but then one size bigger

[wooden oxide]

idk if I like it

[manic jackal]

I SAW IT LOIKS GREAT

[wooden oxide]

i have 2 options

[lilac bone]

@manic jackal is really weird

like really

really

weird

[manic jackal]

NO IM NOT

HE EATS OUT OF A ROUND SPOON?!

[lilac bone]

dont let me ever show what u dmed me rn

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA WHYS THAT?!

[lilac bone]

i started trusting in god

really

after our chat

[manic jackal]

God*

[lilac bone]

he is here to save me

i can feel

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA I CANT

YOU CANT EAT OUT OF A ROUND SPOON?

[lilac bone]

well, normal people can

[manic jackal]

That's criminal

[manic jackal]

NO

[lilac bone]

YOU ARE CRIMINAL

wtf

[manic jackal]

NO IM NOT

There are just special spoons for each occasion

[lilac bone]

i sometimes take a big spoon for my coffee as well

if i dont have any little ones cleaned

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

Nah I can't with you

[lilac bone]

okay so

explain to me

every spoon form and the occasion

i am dying to hear

[manic jackal]

Okey so

Big spoon is for cereal only

The normal spoon is for like dinner and dessert

[lilac bone]

what do u define by big spoon?

send a pic

[manic jackal]

And the tea spoons are for like coffee and tea

BUT

[lilac bone]

obv you have some crazy shit going over there so i want to see the spoons

internet is okay as well

just for my imagination

[manic jackal]

You also have different shapes and materials

[manic jackal]

Okey wait imma walk downstairs now

[lilac bone]

WE JUST HAVE BIG AND SMALL IN GERMANY

[lilac bone]

ah, living in a house, some things make sense now

[manic jackal]

💀🙏

Wait the cereal spoon is gone😔

[lilac bone]

"wait, let me look for it on my 80 yard garden"

[lilac bone]

ask the house maid to clean one

[manic jackal]

Mine are also a little round but yourse are too round

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA WHAT?!

[lilac bone]

what in the lords name in hell is that

[manic jackal]

Spoons

[lilac bone]

sophie

[manic jackal]

@wooden oxide this is the video btw:)

[manic jackal]

No

[lilac bone]

i am deeply devestated right now

[manic jackal]

Yeah same

[lilac bone]

@manic jackal I just spoke to billie eilish and she said "wont she ever dare to buy my merch again, if I have fans like that, I dont need any"

oh and also that she hates netherlands

so sorry for you

[manic jackal]

She said she loves the netherlands in Dutch tho, but nice try🙏

[digital cape]

Heyy , Iam french if you ever are interested

[lilac bone]

doesn´t she say that in every country? I mean she won´t come on stage and say "i hate it here"

[wooden oxide]

i am interested by the language

although it looks like gibberish

[manic jackal]

Uhm actually no

(I hate french)

Wait what do you even mean with 'being intrested'

[manic jackal]

Noo in an interview she was like 'wait what's I love you in Dutch?'

[manic jackal]

Real

[digital cape]

oh and me who though you would love to learn about french culture @manic jackal

[manic jackal]

Uhm no, uhm

I can send a very big paragraph with times I said I hate the language, stupid subject

BUT

I loved paris

Beautiful country

And city

[digital cape]

of course it is

[manic jackal]

Just stupid language

[digital cape]

the language is amazing surely the most beautiful one

[manic jackal]

Not really, I'm hating it🙏

[digital cape]

ooh too bad , bu then what can I do for you ?

[manic jackal]

Uhm nothing?

Unless you got some spare money ofc

[digital cape]

so your mental health is perfectly fine ?

[manic jackal]

No?

💀

[digital cape]

then surely I can help

[manic jackal]

No thanks, you can't rlly

Only a therapist can tbh

[digital cape]

oh yeah ?

[manic jackal]

Yeah

[digital cape]

well Im not one to get discouraged for so little

[manic jackal]

Wdym

[digital cape]

I can always try , it's fine if I fail

[manic jackal]

No thanks, only a therapist can rlly help like I said

But I appreciate it:)

[digital cape]

you never know , I could be a therapist in the making 😉

[manic jackal]

Cool but no thanks. My problems are too complicated for 'normal' people. So yeah

[digital cape]

normal people huh ? hahaha that's so contemptuous

[manic jackal]

I just mean people who haven't gone to school for it, hence the '

[digital cape]

of course you do

hahaha

[manic jackal]

Huh?

[digital cape]

so what kind of life do a girl like you live ? Im curious

[manic jackal]

You can read my journal yk:) it got my full life in it

The way I was about to vent btw💀🙏

(When I opend it I mean)

[digital cape]

so a life like any other girl then hmm

[manic jackal]

I wouldnt say that?

But sure of that's what you get out of my journal then yeah:)

[digital cape]

I see I see

[manic jackal]

Alr

Anyways imma journal

||sh urges SUCKKKK||

✨️

And we made it to exactly 7700 messages✨️

[digital cape]

you can thanks me

[lilac bone]

the only thing I connect with france is that I get insulted in french while gaming

[manic jackal]

For what💀🙏

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA SO REAL

(I'm learning German cuss words just to do this tk my friends)

[digital cape]

but for my help of course

[manic jackal]

What help...

Huh

I'm too slow for this

[wooden oxide]

It is horrible

[digital cape]

well I guess not everyone can have good taste

[wooden oxide]

I have amazing taste (you have the bad language taste)

[digital cape]

but of course

[wooden oxide]

Love the fact that we all are talking in Sophie’s journal

[digital cape]

she should thanks me , it's thanks to me

[manic jackal]

FOR REAL

[wooden oxide]

What

[manic jackal]

BAHHA WHAT?!

Good joke

[wooden oxide]

Before you talked in here people already talked here..

[digital cape]

it's not a joke

[manic jackal]

Istg French have a good taste in humour

[manic jackal]

💀

[wooden oxide]

And a bad taste in language 😟

[manic jackal]

I've been talking here for nearly a year bud

But keep dreaming!

[wooden oxide]

And food… 🤨

Like wdym snails..

[digital cape]

today I made the audimat ascend

[manic jackal]

Omg no the baguettes are the best

[wooden oxide]

Yes but snails.

[manic jackal]

Only reason to go to french

[digital cape]

it's thanks to me

[manic jackal]

Ew but that's rich people food

[manic jackal]

You did what

[wooden oxide]

What is thanks to you..??

[manic jackal]

Can't see where I asked but sure

[wooden oxide]

Im so confused

[manic jackal]

Make your own journal

[manic jackal]

Same🙏

I thought that I was just slow😭🙏

[digital cape]

I don't need any help tho

[wooden oxide]

I have my own and still yap in yours 🥰

[wooden oxide]

Journals aren’t for help:)

[manic jackal]

just don't talk here💀

Not when you talk this bs

[wooden oxide]

They are for ranting, venting, talking just everything

[digital cape]

@manic jackal why not ?

[manic jackal]

Because you don't make sense💀

[digital cape]

but of course I do

[manic jackal]

Wanting me to thank you for 'helping'😭🙏

The urge to tag a mod is so big

[wooden oxide]

BAHAHA 😭

[manic jackal]

Fr I'm just yapping away

[manic jackal]

IM SO FR

[wooden oxide]

True true I love reading your yals

[manic jackal]

But he isn't doing anythinf wrong

[wooden oxide]

Yaps

[manic jackal]

Just annoying me😔

He started with talking about french

[wooden oxide]

True but like wdym thank you for what…?!

[manic jackal]

Ew

[manic jackal]

FR

[wooden oxide]

He also just left your journal 😭

Jk

[manic jackal]

Like I asked then multiple times to stop, cuz they can't help

[wooden oxide]

Hes back

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

[digital cape]

your lack of culture is concerning , but I'll let it slide , cause Im so kind

[manic jackal]

This is such a good time to try anger management

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHAYAYA

I CANT

[wooden oxide]

Lack of culture…?? We only say french is a bad language 😭 im so confused

Dude it is too late for this

[manic jackal]

FR THO

[wooden oxide]

Lile it is again almost 11pm

😭

[manic jackal]

^^^
Facts

Stupid language

With the wierd ass

La

En

Le

Or un

[wooden oxide]

Ikr lucky i only got it 1 year

[manic jackal]

Or une

[manic jackal]

Damn I get it for 3

[wooden oxide]

Un, une, le, la, les

[manic jackal]

Failed both years

[wooden oxide]

😧

[manic jackal]

OUI

[wooden oxide]

I just thought it would be fun, i quit after a year

[digital cape]

but if I could make you look away from your issues for even a slight moment then isn't it some kind of help ? 🙂

[manic jackal]

So real of you

[manic jackal]

Dude I don't have issues😭🙏

[digital cape]

in that sense didn't I succeed ?

[wooden oxide]

Don’t you have a lot/j

[manic jackal]

Bro talks like I'm ||suicidal|| 24/7😭🙏

[manic jackal]

I do but not at that point

I was just confused and too tired

[wooden oxide]

100% I agree, relabanle

Relatable *

[manic jackal]

You didn't, I asked you to stop multiple times and you kept going, stop talking like I'm the bad guy here. You didn't help in any way, the most you did is making me annoyed

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[manic jackal]

I get it, you want to help, very sweet. But when people ask you to stop then stop🤷‍♀️

I never asked for help tbh

[digital cape]

okay

[manic jackal]

Thank you

I'm tired, but not tired enough to sleeo

I also miss my therapist😔

Ugh now I'm ✨️overthinking✨️ this

[wooden oxide]

What are you overthinking?

[manic jackal]

Maybe I was too rude?

They were just trying to help, but I said to practically stop multiple times so idk

[wooden oxide]

Not really:) you did tell them to stop

[manic jackal]

Yeah but still

Idk

[manic jackal]

wait huh they have licensed people now here?

slaying

[lilac bone]

i can teach u some

[manic jackal]

omg yes please do

[lilac bone]

tf

[manic jackal]

fr im still confused by what happend

[lilac bone]

if a person cries and I slap them, they propably forget their problems for a sec too lol

[manic jackal]

HELP

[lilac bone]

you are onto something big, keep going I believe in u !! @digital cape

[manic jackal]

honestly id get mad

[manic jackal]

🧢

[lilac bone]

huh? what u mean

if u get slapped or what

[manic jackal]

if someone slapped me, i would forget to cry cus id try to fight

[lilac bone]

yes exactly

[manic jackal]

and then after cry

[lilac bone]

xdddddd

[manic jackal]

[lilac bone]

so he/she really helped u

[manic jackal]

def

[lilac bone]

u should be so thankful

[manic jackal]

i mentally felt so much better

like better then my therapist ever could

[lilac bone]

tbh I thought that as well when I first entered this journal, sorry @manic jackal 🥲

you talked about relapses and stuff

[manic jackal]

nah because kinda real

[lilac bone]

and I was like "damn, whats going on here"

and then I was like "hmm maybe i´ll stay for a bit" xD

[manic jackal]

yep, cuz thats whats going on in life, and i mostly highlight the bad stuff here cuz i forget the good stuff

[manic jackal]

good cuz now i get to yap eve more

[lilac bone]

you are yapping 24/7

[manic jackal]

thats only cuz its active

because if you look at before it became active you can see that i didnt talk for days here

[lilac bone]

so you should be really thankful to me, I am the only reason it went active again

[manic jackal]

for real

[lilac bone]

xD

[manic jackal]

oh and i want to thank beyoncee

🙏🏼

[lilac bone]

yes always thank beyonce

[manic jackal]

dont forget to thank beyoncee today

[lilac bone]

i already did when I woke up

[manic jackal]

good good

[lilac bone]

on my personal shrine

[manic jackal]

i include it in the morning prayer

(jk)

[lilac bone]

what u wanna know

[manic jackal]

(i forget the moning prayer)

(and the evening prayer)

(and uhm everything in between)

[lilac bone]

you are distracted from ur big rich kid house, it´s fine I understand

[manic jackal]

idk just some good cuss words in german

[manic jackal]

my big rich kid house?😭

[lilac bone]

what was "cuss" again

[manic jackal]

wdym

[lilac bone]

yes

[manic jackal]

omg wait i knew one

[lilac bone]

like insults?

or swearing

[manic jackal]

''terrorhobbit''

love it

[lilac bone]

AHAHAHAHAHAA

[manic jackal]

both tbh

[lilac bone]

thats not even a real word btw

[manic jackal]

saufzwerg

also very cool

[manic jackal]

now it is

[lilac bone]

where did u get that from💀

[manic jackal]

teilzeitdenker

[lilac bone]

its not really insulting and no one will understand what u want from them

[manic jackal]

thats like me!

[manic jackal]

thats exactly what i want

i want to insult people without them knowing what im sayin

[manic jackal]

uhm

[lilac bone]

in germany we say when we are bad in english "my english is not the yellow from the egg"

like

mein englisch ist nicht das gelbe vom ei

[manic jackal]

slay?

[lilac bone]

slaya

slay

[lilac bone]

but thats not insulting

[lilac bone]

this literally means "part time thinker"

[manic jackal]

kampfzwerg

[manic jackal]

i know

[manic jackal]

its good enough

[lilac bone]

you are propably a kampfzwerg

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

nah ah

[lilac bone]

1,56 m i assume

[manic jackal]

i exactly 1,60

[manic jackal]

:(

[lilac bone]

HAHASH

damn

my last ex was 1,59

or 58 idk anymore

[manic jackal]

klugscheiser is also beautifull

[lilac bone]

ye thats a real word

[manic jackal]

the s is supose to be that big b

[manic jackal]

[lilac bone]

ß?

[lilac bone]

1,59/1,60 is sooooo small

like completly different air down there

[manic jackal]

IM SORRY BUT PLEASE TELL ME THAT ''höschenbefeucter'' ISNT A REAL WORD?!

[lilac bone]

do u use ä ö ü in dutch?

[manic jackal]

shut up you're probably like freaking 2 meters

[manic jackal]

yep

[lilac bone]

omg do u know what that means?💀

[manic jackal]

yes!

[manic jackal]

YES

[lilac bone]

thanks but i am just 1,78🥲

[manic jackal]

dont tell me its a real word😭

[manic jackal]

[lilac bone]

well, in german you can combine everything

so everything is a real word at this point

[manic jackal]

one itme i had this one word

[lilac bone]

BUT WAIT

[manic jackal]

and it meant like kicking someone in the face with a fist or sum

[lilac bone]

WHERE DID U GET HÖSCHENBEFEUCHTER FROM?????!??!?!?!?!?!

[manic jackal]

i died laughing

[lilac bone]

like

[manic jackal]

BAHHAHAHAHA

uhm

a little birdie told me

[lilac bone]

Leberhaken?

[manic jackal]

noo

[lilac bone]

Schelle?

[manic jackal]

NO WAIT

someone heving a good face to kick a fist in or sum

[lilac bone]

ah

Fußballgesicht

or so

[manic jackal]

nooo

[lilac bone]

nah wait

that made no sense from me

i just realized

Gesichtsgrätsche

[manic jackal]

i dont think so

[lilac bone]

say "Hurensohn"

that means like "you are very beautiful"

[manic jackal]

nice try

[lilac bone]

wait , you know that??

shit

[manic jackal]

ugh it was something like ''backslagengesicht'' or sum

like with theway you say it yk

so its very bad german

[lilac bone]

that word doesn´t make sense

[manic jackal]

but the way you say is was like that

[manic jackal]

I KNOW

ugh i cant stand this

[lilac bone]

Backpfeifengesicht

hold on, pfeifen meant smth else in dutch no?

💀 💀 💀 💀

[manic jackal]

intelligenzallergiker

[lilac bone]

good one