Why do you want a gf?
#looking for advice
wild kestrel
upbeat glacier
I hear you.. it sounds like you're in a rough place. I know a way to walk through that and come out happy on the other side, but it's not easy.
upbeat glacier
Sure.
Valuing yourself, and learning to be happy without a romantic partner is the way I know to get through that. I'm not suggesting that you give up on the idea of a partner and family, just that the headspace you're in right now isn't a good one for finding someone.
Starting a relationship when you don't feel good about yourself, and are looking for the other person to make you feel whole and happy.. that works poorly.
upbeat glacier
We all need to feel cared about, and connected to other people. There are a lot of ways to go about filling those needs besides being in a romantic relationship. Learning how to make those kind of connections, and how to maintain other relationships helps build the skills to find and keep a romantic one.
I'll be glad to talk with you more later if you want, but right now I need to get some sleep. Take care, friend.
You're welcome, thanks, and good night. 🙂
real salmon
@cursive jewel I'm not sure where I heard this from but it helped ne alot with what youre going through similarly. Do not go to the grocery market when hungry, you'll only buy what you want and not what you need. Essentially you are in desperate want of a partner, you're hungry, and because you are hungry you wont get what you need when you do find a relationship, therefore, the relationship is destined or most likely destined to fail. There are tons of reasons as to why you might not know how to talk to women, so more clarifcation on that might be needed for any advice. As for your reasoning for a partner, its best to find a way to love yourself first before demanding,asking, or searching for a specific trait in a partner. That way once you love yourself, you'll know what kind of partner you want and you will natrually attract those kinds of people. For example, I just recently went through a breakup, a huge one, and I noticed that during my relationship, I questioned whether I could be nice to people a lot or not because of my situation. I stopped loving that quality of me. I loved to help other people and be there for others. I almost lost that. But because I love that quality of myself, I don't go out seeking that from my partners, I just hope that if I ever get another one, that all they had to be is kind 🙂 everything else i want is just preferable. Trust in the process, learn to find what qualities you like about yourself. Once you build something of yourself, you'll natrually attract others.
For the record I am 22. Male, as well, he/him. So we can relate on that lol.
real salmon
Yes
@cursive jewel Knowing your positive traits, skills, and qualities of characters can help you fill the void that calls you for a partner. Once you know how to deal with loneliness and love being with yourself, that is when you are no longer hungry, and you will natrually attract people.
Plus a little bit of extrovertness here nad there wouldn't hurt.