I’m a junior in high school and I do not know what I wanna do with my life, I don’t know if I want to go to college or not go to college, but then if I do want to go to college my mom told me “good luck” cause she won’t pay the tuition. And then I don’t even know what job I wan’t cause I don’t have interests or hobbies or even friends (not even a social life) I’m so unmotivated but at the same time wanna do something or become something great but I don’t know what to do. On top of all of that (and the reason I’m so unmotivated, scared to do things and stay in my house all day) is because of how low my self esteem is it’s so low I sometimes cancel doing things with my “only” friend or I never come out of my room when house guests or family are over. I’m pretty sure I have BDD but I don’t talk to my parents about it because they get super upset and tell me “you know you’re insulting us when you say that” (they also think therapy is a joke) . I also not very recently (9 months ago) lost my best friend to ||suicide|| while I was all the way across the country in another state and I have been struggling with it a lot. It’s all such a mess and I feel I’m in such a huge deep hole right now I feel like I will never get out, I really need help.
#don’t know what to do
keen rampart
worn bridge
Hi Star! (For lack of a better name to refer to you as 😂)
The beginnings of adulthood can be very overwhelming, and I’m sorry that your parents aren’t as supportive with you during a time like this. Just know there’s no rush to know who you want to be right now. I understand the want to progress forward but take your time, explore a little. You could look at some desired post secondary schools and what programs they offer and see if anything’s sparks interest.
I also had to pay for almost all my schooling and supplies from grade 10 and on. It’s definitely not the best feeling knowing how independent life has become so early.
Something you could try, is just finding something entry level for work just to at least get out more, and maybe bring perspective from the working world and see if something clicks.
It’s also great for meeting people! It can be hard to make a conscious effort to make new friends, but having a job can make that a lot easier.
It’s heartbreaking hearing that another kind soul was lost, and it always weighs heavily on us when it’s someone close. Self esteem is such a huge battle for a lot of people too, especially when you’re about to finish school and enter the working world. But there’s always help, either professional or casual that’s around for you!
You’re not in this alone. Life is something to get excited about! You get to explore and discover yourself.