I am genuinely just sad right now. I usually want to go to school to see my friends because they make me feel happier but I just lack motivation to make myself look decent to go to that hellhole and i just feel isolated from my friends the whole time because im not as sporty, hyper, or full of energy as them. We usually all sit on the bleachers for our lil friend group but most times they run off somewhere else, not notifying me or even asking me to go with them, just me and my new bf sittin together not even really talking. I feel like a broken toy gettin thrown in a deep pit that leads nowhere or just locked up in a barrel or something. I feel sad around them now and i am very very slow everywhere i go. For example, walking class to class, writing notes, watching something, or even talking. I cant even focus in class. I always zone out. Cant focus on a video that they put on. nothing. Going home too. Walk into a miserable household with constant yelling and annoying sounds. I get irritated so easily. Like one time, i was brushing my teeth with my sister then she started brushing her teeth very loudly then i said "stop" and she said "well i cant control it" like it obvi has gotten louder than before so its obvi on purpose then it triggers me again.. then i slap her. The crying makes me even more triggered so i rush out into my room after quickly apologizing.. her cry.. its so loud.. even in my room i could hear as if im right next to her, the volume of her crying was also so unnecessary and triggering.. i sat in my bed, feeling myself shaking and freaking out then my dad comes in getting super close to me, raising his voice very high full on screaming at me. always scared he is going to hit me. I feel like the reason i flinch soooooo much is because of my dad hitting me so much so i think everyone else is acc going to hit me. But then also on the other hand im just to stressed out in the household i wanna stay in my bed and cry for the rest of my life. I let them ⬇
#problems ig.
rancid flume
tight yarrow
hey, i can see you're really stressed
how have you been feeling?
gut wrenched?
or just, upset in general
rancid flume
gut wrenched fosho