#Small journal of my life

143 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wanton marlin
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My gf made a journal so I thought to do one to >:D

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Yesterday October 29 est was a fine day my gf is doing very good with her mental health she’s might have a breakdown there and then but way better then she was but me ig I’m fine I’m really am it just my stupid fucking school that’s make me depressed the teachers are horrible so are the staff they say bulling is a no tolerance but a bunch of people went home school bc of bullying and I’m about to be one of them

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And my family there fine my dad gets aynoing alot of times but it’s really fine

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Now my brother he is not family to me never was he’s always a dick to me so ye and he done very bad things to me

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Like choking me and attacking me the choking was years ago the attacking was a few months ago

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But there was one person that always made me happy witch was my gf and glitch if you ever read this I love you very much<333

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I should sleep

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Before I start hering thing lol

wanton marlin
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I forgor about this

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But anyways today was meh

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Wish a kid wouldn’t get pissed when people tries to help him isn’t this what the sever for idk man I’m somewhat fine still having issue but tmr is my last day of school im going home school 🥳🥳

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My confidence is better

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And other stuff

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People can think of me as a “fat ass” that person knows who they are but rlly I dont care

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I just do things just for the fun of it

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And im not gonna let someone bring me down

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Looks don’t matter it really don’t

last roost
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Just true

wanton marlin
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And ethier way I accept myself for who im am

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So what i have a speaking impediment adhd a mucle disorder and maby autism

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Who cares

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I’m still human

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So call me names and see if I care

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Your just embarrassing yourself

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I’m a good person I know im am and that’s all that matters to me

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I help people with depression anxiety or just to confert them just give people a giggle that’s why I became a entertainer

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And if your a person who just hurt people go to hell

last roost
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Period

wanton marlin
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I forgor about this

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I’m fine

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As of right now

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I finally got into homeschooling

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I’m doing better

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I’m trying to get my gf to sleep currently

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I love her so much the only person who actually cares about me and supports me

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I have been having some problems tho not with her I never had any problems with her

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My back just been really hurting for months now and it just been hurting for a bit

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Shit i forgot the other thing that I was going to say I say it when I think of it

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If I don’t respond for a while due to my ass memory merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate

last roost
lapis swallow
last roost
lapis swallow
# last roost Wdym?

I have the same things like adhd and maybe autism and a speech imepdiment.

last roost
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Oh im sorry, I have speaking problems as well. But it doesn’t make you ugly

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It makes you more unique

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It gives you charecter

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Idk if I spelled that right

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But “imperfections” aren’t actually things that make you less beautiful.

wanton marlin
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What do I do

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I just wanted to improve a bit

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But I can never do anything with out people getting sad

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It’s all my fault

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If I have to do it

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So be it

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This is my life my happiness my somewhat freedom and im not going let anyone take it

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Even if I regret it

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It might be for the best

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I will take risk if I have to

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I may not be perfect but im still a human being and that’s close enough to being perfect

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And to all those assholes who just want to throw me down go to hell this is my life

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I know my life isn’t worthless

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Wait a minute

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Why now am im motivated after all the shit that happened today

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I hope there not the reason for my sadness they can’t be I refuse to believe it

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But

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If im better off without them

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It might be lonely

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But if it’s the way I can be happy

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I have to take it

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I love remembering the past where I met my best friends

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My body may be cloapsing but I I will be okay

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But it’s not like I remember this

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I forgot everything

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But

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That won’t stop me

wanton marlin
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I keep falling asleep

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I wanna do something but at the same time dont

wanton marlin
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I just got motivation

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To do smt

wanton marlin
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It might be lonly but it’s going to be okay

wanton marlin
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I get jealous easily maby I can work on that

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I can’t get jealous im not going to get jealous just need to calm down and don’t over think it

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Im going to be fine

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I need to get something to get my hair out of my eyes

wanton marlin
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I never knew how sad my life was I barly have any friends to play with im mostly alone

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Im always the punching bag in all my gc

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Or friend group

wanton marlin
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Dose anyone want to be my friend

wanton marlin
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Dose anyone want to be my friend

coral reef
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I can

last roost
coral reef
last roost
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Mhm PeepoHeart

dapper olive
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you two are so much alike

last roost
dapper olive
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good with a but

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because you might not be able to cover up each other's weaknesses

last roost
wanton marlin
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I’m always the bad guy whatever

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I mean if a bunch of people says the same things about me im clearly a bad person ha ha

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it’s always the same

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the same outcome

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same every thing

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If mostly everyone thinks im a bad person I not talking about her taking about other people but if everyone dose think im a “bad person” why not cause shit

dapper olive
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I thought you two were gonna take a break from each other

last roost
dapper olive
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breaking is also a commitment

last roost
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I know it is

wanton marlin
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Dude it feels like it always my fault like I can’t do anything with out seeming like a mipulater what ever

dapper olive
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doesn't seem like you two are a good fit for each other

wanton marlin
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It’s not her

last roost
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Okay

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I’ll note that

dapper olive
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well uh I don't want to sound like breaking you up

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I just see that the best couples make each other feel safe and protected

wanton marlin
dapper olive
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well if you've done it then I have no worries

last roost
wanton marlin
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Ello me again

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I want to do art sm buts it’s harddd

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I have so many things I want to be and it’s hard

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I want to be a entertainer a game dev and a artist

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My next game project will mostly be a undertale like game

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I’m obsessed with that game

wanton marlin
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It’s been one year since I been with @last roost <3333

last roost
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YAYYYYYYY

wanton marlin
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I ruin yesterday…

wanton marlin
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How to i fix thing i dont know what comes next im scared i dont know whats going to happen anything can im trying my best to heal and support but is it ever engofe i cant spell but im trying my best to think possitive i really care and i will do anything im trying my best ive been very clingy and someone came back and i swear if he dose something i will fucking make him regret it he only comes back after other woman breaks up with him and that gc sucks not everyone in it but mostly everyone

wanton marlin
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I’m doing better

wanton marlin
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Her dad sucks dude it’s hard to msg her i can edit my messages so it dosent get pinged

wanton marlin
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“Im be fine” what a pathetic excuse to hide how I feel

wanton marlin
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I hate myself

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No one is going to care they just going to ignore my cries of help anyway

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Nobody wants to be my friend and I always get made fun of

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What’s the point

wanton marlin
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I’m lonly

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Feels like she prefers to play with them than me it’s fine I get it but you could atleast call when you said you be back or call at 4-5

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The time we agreed on

last roost
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and I don’t. they force me.

wanton marlin
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Very suicidal whatev