am I in the wrong?

[plucky jasper]

NOTE : this was a few months ago. I just want your pov on it. I can go into more detail in dms

when me and this guy broke up I was mad at him for not telling me why he was breaking up w me / not telling me what was making our friendship suck apparently he was “questioning his sexuality” (my friend is his cousin and she talked to him. he used that as an excuse) we talked and the breakup sorta went mutual and I started to understand more of what he was talking about. he went to stay at a “close family friends house” where he sent me a picture with him and another girl. I started to question him. a week after that he went on a camping trip for a week with no reception. (we were doing long distance he lives in Melbourne) when he got back something changed I could tell he was just really closed off and would always leave me on delivered. I had a really bad gut feeling and I sort of expected that he was gonna break up w me. I was crying hysterically for like 2 hours bc I knew our friendship was ruined.

also he wrote me this weird hate note and it’s sorta funny.

PT 2
after two weeks he randomly texted me and we were chatting. I was still trying to get over him but it was difficult cause it felt like I had no space. i told him this and he never responded. I thought he would understand. fast forward to a month later, this would be around june. I texted him again and told him I was really to be friends. he acted cold and distant again. very awkward. he seemed to hate me for all the shit I had done? (yes I did say some pretty horrible things so fair enough) then I found out a week ago that he’s been making everyone in his family hate me. (he holidays up here every year I’m very close to his family) it breaks my heart that I’ll never be able to salvage that friendship I had. the worst part is my own family were mad at me for ruining the relationship w his parents. he turned everyone against me. it hurt me so bad. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if he holidays up here this year. I think I’m gonna avoid him for now.

[plucky jasper]

I’ll be direct as possible;
I believe you both are in the wrong(?)

After rereading it a couple of times, the first thing that I noticed is that after the breakup, he had sent you a picture. I’d want more context, but if you two were broken up, I don’t see why he would have a reason to send you a picture. Although, I believe ‘questioning him’ wasn’t a good move either.

For being closed off, I can understand. Although, looking back at the letter and both your reaction in the first half, it seems a bit understandable on why he would break up with you. Leaving you in delivered is self explanatory in the letter.

Of course, rereading your part two, I noticed some reasons why you both would be in the wrong. Sure, he was in the wrong for guiding everyone to hate you, and that your families are close, but you also were quite toxic. Although, he should’ve been a bit more mature and talk it out. Perhaps out of fear or just out of what he’s experienced with you, perhaps he’s cold and closed off for that reason. Likewise, you also on the other hand shouldn’t have been toxic. You both are effected in this situation terribly. -although, that’s what I believe. I hope this helps and hopefully I’m not late.

[severe tapir]

It seems like a hot mess and both of you could be too much in your heads and both of you might be incredibly biased. I have a bad relationship too so I am not one to give good advice but imo this is not something I would try to figure out… I would just think he is very confused and maybe unsure about what he wants and has a ton of emotional baggage you couldn’t fix for him, and he seems like a very salty and hurt person who is incredibly sensitive. Maybe it’s just best to not try and understand….