Sure what's going on.
#:/
topaz tide
I'm listening.
Damn. I don't even know how to say this so I'll just get it off my chest. In my early 20s I got this girl pregnant I didn't even know she got pregnant until she had the baby. She hit me up to tell me it was mine and I didn't believe her. She told me not to worry about it because she was going to lie to her current boyfriend and tell him it was his. I ran into them about five years later, and there was no doubt that child was mine, it looked just like me. I have no idea where they are or what they are up to these days. The kid is a teenager now. This is something that actually bugs me from time to time. If I was your father, I'd want you to reach out to me. He might feel like a failure and just scared. He might be a monster and tell you that he wants nothing to do with you. He might open you with welcome arms.
Although I had my father growing up, he was old school. He never taught me a single thing, the only time he ever told me he loved me was on his deathbed. More than anything in life, I wanted a father to be actually there for me. I held on to deep seated resentments to the point it made me mad at the world. I spent my whole life not wanting to become my father until after his death. The man was extremely stoic and I wish I could be more like that. I wouldn't repeat the same mistakes, but I would love to ask him how he dealt with being in a relationship with a narcissistic woman as currently married to a narcissistic woman. It's funny how life works that way sometimes.
I'd say what do you have to lose? If he turns you down, you really didn't lose out on anything. I think you really do wanna meet him because you think about it so much, you're just scared of rejection. I think you need to build up the courage to reach out. If you do reach out and he does reject you, at least you have that closure instead of spending the rest of your life wondering what if.
At this point, he has no right to expect anything. Who cares what he thinks. if you build a relationship down the line and then he gains some opinion, that's another thing, but you're thinking too far ahead,
if you meet up with him and he doesn't like you, that's the end of it. Even though he's your biological father that's no different from some stranger not liking you.
Yeah, shoot
Damn, that's a tough one. I think you're always gonna have some sort of magnetic draw towards your mother like that, because she's your mother. These are natural feelings. One, you wanna be with your mother on some level. Two, you feel like you're betraying your guardian. Maybe try reaching out to your mother and seeing if you could have a relationship before you make any decision.