compact zenith
I am very sorry to say this, but there isn't anymore much you can do. You ran away and did what made your life a bit better.
If you return there, it would make you feel more guilty than just staying where you are. You really have to try and make new memories with new people, so that you can stop worrying too much. I know that it's painful and you can't change much now, but trust me, if you keep worrying and worrying about them, it can lead you to a much more difficult situation.
The mental hospitals we're never there to help people, they exist to get your money and drug you. Maybe try going to rehab, just rehab and no mental hospital. You may feel that you really don't wanna talk to them about your issues and that you are just stressing over everything you had back there, but you must put some trust in them.
You mention that you don't have it that bad and that you have everything you would want, yet you still think you act like you have it bad. In reality, it isn't your acting, it's your inner emotions expressing themselfs. Sounds weird, but it's true. Not many understand such issues, so it's really some people who actually realise from a story that things aren't as good as they would be. You must hold yourself together as much as you can, even if you think you can't do it, you must.
Every person understands situations diffirently, so you really can't listen to many people. This may sound weird, but crying may help you maybe release some of your emotions. I know, it sounds really weird, but sometimes it really does.
If i somehow made you sad with this message, i apologize in advance about it. I really hope you get better in the future and have a better life. :)
Oh, and if you maybe want me to help you more in any way, you can DM me if you'd like, just if i don't respond it's maybe due to our timezones.