broken friendship vs death in the family

[fallen minnow]

I had a best friend for years. We have been friend for almost 20 years. The last 3 years I worked on my ptsd and sexual addictions. Last year my best friend of 20 years told me he couldn't be friends with me anymore because I'm not the same man I use to be. Which is true. I don't want to do some of the things we use to. This hurt a lot. He moved to another state. Changed his phone number. Deleted me from socials. This weekend is his father's funeral. He was there for my dad's. Should I respect his disconnection wishes and not go or should I follow my gut and go?

I personally didn't know his father. My dad was like a father to him.

What questions should I ask myself?

In your opinion, would you go and why?

[primal pine]

Your consideration of whether or not to go in respect of your friend's wishes is admirable. Understandably, you are indecisive as your friendship with that person is no longer what it used to be.

In losing a friend, we might feel that we should respect their wishes and keep a distance; no longer interfering with their social lives. That is, in most cases a normal response and shows great maturity and understanding.

During times of adversity, showing a helping hand even to those that have decided to no longer acquaint themselves with us may help a person come to terms as to the true nature of friendship.

A friendship lost out of preference, due to them seeing how you have changed, does not necessarily mean that the person in times of hardship may need your help. In trying to help them, you yourself will be able to clarify and understand the adversity that a person you have known so well is going through, reducing the burden of losing such a close bond; knowing that you have been the best friend you can be to that person.

So that, whatever paths you shall follow, you shall be separate, but you still showed that you cared when it mattered in their saddest of times; even at a distance.

[fallen minnow]

@primal pine thank you. You took the words and made the physical. I will make arrangements to go to the funeral and visitation. Death isn't easy for anyone.

[primal pine]

No need to thank me, we are all here for each other. I wholeheartedly wish for you the better in all things, and I am sorry for your friend's loss.